Plot so thin, it passes unnoticed.

Dreadfully Boring

It isn't all that great, actually. Really cheesy and very predicable of how certain scenes are gonna turn play out. However, I guess that's the charm of it all, because I would consider this one of my guilty pleasures.

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

This script comes from the mind of Clive Barker, one of my favorites. At the end I found it a typical Barker story but as always with his stories it isn't that simple to make it a flick or an episode here in the Masters Of Horror series.Rob Hanisey (Tyron Leitso) moves to a boarding house full of struggling writers waiting for their script to be published. While Rob is trying a new script he hear noises in the house and is suddenly confronted with a girl called Valerie (Clare Grant). She pleads to Rob to save her from evil. Slowly the house shows his secrets.Let me first start to say that the performance of Tony Todd as The Beast was excellent. The others weren't that bad at all and the camera did some nice shots but it's so typical Barker that you must be a fan to watch this. For a Barker story this surely isn't The Midnight Meat Train (2008) but more a Book Of Blood (2009) script. A lot of blah blah going on and here and there we do have some nasty killings. You really have to sit through the whole story and maybe even then the ending will satisfy some. There's a lot of nudity from Valerie, she even goes full frontal and there are as I said a few killings to watch (espescially the one with the backbone). Christopher Loydd is here to to see as one of the writers in the house but isn't that much in it and if he does he does what he does best, looking weird with his eyes. An entry in the series with a lot of controversy. here I go again, only for Barker geeks.Gore 1/5 Nudity 2/5 Effects 3/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 0/5

Mick Garris and Tobe Hooper were the weak links on Season One of "Masters of Horror". Garris's "Chocolate" was an ambitious episode and in many ways interesting but if fell flat due to incomprehensive storytelling, a snail's pace and a weak ending. Here he goes to a short story written by horror maestro Clive Barker and makes amends for the disappointing first season episode."Valerie on the Stairs" is an interesting story, somewhat creepy with a killer twist in the end. Garris performs well in the director's chair, elicits fine performances from his cast and ensured a fantastic look that's both atmospheric and moody. The setting here is brilliant and fits incredibly well to a horror film.Garris also doesn't shy away from some gory set pieces as well and they're very well done. "Valerie on the Stairs" is a solid entry in the relatively uneven second season of this very ambitious project that is "Masters of Horror". Congrats to Mick.

This isn't well-regarded on the IMDb, but I personally liked it well enough. While the plot (based, as were the recently-viewed "Candyman" films, on a story by Clive Barker) features several well-worn elements, the mix proves intriguing and reasonably compelling: failed author, eccentric household, ghostly damsel-in-distress, literary characters coming to life, etc.Even if there were only two noted performers – the ever-reliable (and quirky) Christopher Lloyd and the Candyman himself, Tony Todd (once again, playing a figure of mystery and menace, a rather effectively made-up demon) – the rest of the cast does well enough by their roles as well, especially the hero and heroine (the entrancing Clare Grant) and the two older women in the boarding-house.As was the case with the two previous "Masters Of Horror" episodes I've watched – both, incidentally, helmed by Dario Argento – this too confirms that TV has finally achieved maturity (with its graphic display of sexuality and violence, and the tackling of subjects previously considered taboo, in this case, a dash of lesbianism). In fact, not being into modern TV series at all, I'd only previously encountered such explicitness – where, however, it was mostly gratuitous and even off-putting – in ROME (2005)...

Masters of Horror: Valerie on the Stairs starts as wannabe author Rob Hainsey (Tyron Leitso) pitches up outside Highberger House, a place for unpublished authors to stay & write. Rob is welcomed by the owner Nancy Bloom (Nicola Lipman) & is given a small room from which he can work in peace, however things turn creepy very quickly. At first there is constant loud knocking on Ray's door but when he answers it no-one is to be seen anywhere until he finally sees a young woman named Valerie (Clare Grant) sitting on the top of a flight of stairs but as Ray approaches her she disappears into the shadows & behind a brick wall. After several more encounters with the mysterious Valerie Ray becomes convinced that she is a ghost, however things aren't quite that simple...This Canadian American co-production was episode 8 from season 2 of Masters of Horror, written & directed by Mick Garris who is also the shows permanent executive producer I quite liked Valerie on the Stairs although it's not the best episode I've seen. The script was apparently based on a short story by Clive Barker (why hasn't he made a Masters of Horror episode yet & while I'm thinking about it where's David Cronenberg's entry?) & starts out as a fairly effective ghost story but turns into something else completely by the end, in typical Barker style it turns into a story about twisted imagination, demons & torture. I have to mention the strange ending which literally comes from nowhere, I have to say I really liked it although I have to admit I didn't really understand it or what it represented but what the hell it just looked cool & felt right somehow. At less than an hour it moves along at a great pace so becoming bored shouldn't be a problem & it manages to sustain it's stories change in direction pretty well. On the negative said the ending felt rushed & the demon guy dies too easily.Director Garris does a good job & there's a nice bleak atmosphere running through Valerie on the Stairs, there's not much colour to it & Garris like to place his camera at the foot of narrow stairs looking up or at the end of a long cramped corridor which gives a nice claustrophobic feel. As a a whole this episode of Masters of Horror reminds of the film I, Madman (1989) which has a similar theme & basic idea. There's some nice gore as usual, someone has their spine ripped out through their mouth, someone has their breasts slashed open with a fountain of spurting blood the result & someone has a chunk bitten out of their neck. The special effects are top notch as always & the demon guy looks impressive.Techncially it's well made with good production values & to it's credit it doesn't look like a cheap TV show. The acting is pretty good, the 'name' actor in this episode is Christopher Lloyd who puts in a good shift, Tony Todd also makes a appearance under layers of latex so you may not recognise him straight away.Valerie on the Stairs is a decent Masters of Horror episode, it's not the best one I've seen but it's far from the worst. I reckon it's worth a watch but I think most self respecting horror fans will anyway regardless of what anyone says.