People are voting emotionally.

I'll tell you why so serious

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

Stephen King once said: "I have seen the future of horror... and his name is Clive Barker." Barker is one of my favorite authors, not only within the horror genre, but in general, and I personally prefer his dark fantasy over his classic horror stories. Perhaps that's why my experience of this episode is so much different from the reaction of the majority. After a decent, but within Barker's opus disappointing, episode "Haeckel's Tale", directed by John McNaughton, the second season brings us a beautiful and atmospheric "Valerie on the Stairs". I assume that bad reactions to this film come from fans who identify Barker with "Hellraiser" franchise, as well as those who just do not like him, but I think that fans of "Weaveworld", "The Thief of Always" and even "Books of Blood" will be pleasantly surprised by this episode, if not thrilled as I am.I think Mick Garris successfully transmitted the magic atmosphere of Barker's text to small screens and this is one of the few episodes that hypnotized me. Photography and lighting are great, and the performance is convincing. Clare Grant will make you associate ghosts with falling in love instead of rattling chains in the attic, Christopher Lloyd was born for this kind of roles, and a pleasant surprise is Tony Todd, known to Barker's fans for leading role in "Candyman". Nearing the end, episode becomes a little silly and naive, but it's saved by excellent metaphorical ending, with a twist that, although quite predictable, fits the story perfectly. To me, this is the best episode so far.9/10

This isn't well-regarded on the IMDb, but I personally liked it well enough. While the plot (based, as were the recently-viewed "Candyman" films, on a story by Clive Barker) features several well-worn elements, the mix proves intriguing and reasonably compelling: failed author, eccentric household, ghostly damsel-in-distress, literary characters coming to life, etc.Even if there were only two noted performers – the ever-reliable (and quirky) Christopher Lloyd and the Candyman himself, Tony Todd (once again, playing a figure of mystery and menace, a rather effectively made-up demon) – the rest of the cast does well enough by their roles as well, especially the hero and heroine (the entrancing Clare Grant) and the two older women in the boarding-house.As was the case with the two previous "Masters Of Horror" episodes I've watched – both, incidentally, helmed by Dario Argento – this too confirms that TV has finally achieved maturity (with its graphic display of sexuality and violence, and the tackling of subjects previously considered taboo, in this case, a dash of lesbianism). In fact, not being into modern TV series at all, I'd only previously encountered such explicitness – where, however, it was mostly gratuitous and even off-putting – in ROME (2005)...

I have always considered Mick Garris one of our most undervalued genre directors. He has understood Stephen King's prose well enough to make excellent TV adaptations of "The Stand," "Desperation," and "The Shining" (cleaning up Stanley Kubrick's nauseatingly overpraised mess-terpiece); his most simultaneously renowned and scorned creation may be the "Masters of Horror" anthology series, cited as maddeningly uneven by some, and fulfilling to others. If you can't tell already, I was a fan of Garris's Season 1 entry (the much-derided 'Chocolate'), and am now an even bigger fan of 'Valerie on the Stairs,' a showcase of storytelling (about storytelling, no less) that truly earns the praise given to a 'master.' Working from a story treatment by Clive Barker, Garris tells the tale of Highberger House, a place seemingly dusted with antiquity, where struggling writers can stay rent-free until their work gets published. Rob Hanisey (Tyler Leitso) secures a room after the previous tenant commits suicide, and quickly forges a negative rapport with the other residents when he begins having visions of an ethereal beauty named Valerie (the smoldering Clare Grant), imprisoned by the appetites of The Beast (Tony Todd under a mountain of makeup and latex). The cast (also featuring Christopher Lloyd in a good supporting role) is excellent, and Garris foments fear through the use of imposing high- and low-angle shots, matched with frequently tight and confining framing. Most importantly, he really understands Barker's fascination with multiple layers of reality, other dimensions getting a foothold, and the power of sexual desire intertwined with human imagination. Garris also takes many opportunities to show off the surprising, cynical humor that has punctuated his previous films (Rob's initial meeting with the landlord, and a middle-aged Southern woman complaining of having her "pleasure interrupted" are two gems among many). But in the end, 'Valerie' is really about the art and craft of writing--in many ways, it is a clever salute to the form, something this Garris/Barker collaboration conveys beautifully. One of the best episodes of the series.7.5 out of 10

Story-wise, its tough to do a decent horror movie these days because the themes are very well known. This movie is a case in point. It was probably an idea that sounded good, but ended up not being right for a movie.The story is about a writer who goes to a writing retreat / hotel for unpublished authors. As he begins to write, he starts to encounter the presence of a young lady named "Valerie" reaching out to him. He begins to explore what's happening and the story progresses from there.Sound familiar? The average horror fan will have seen this setup countless times before. Admittedly, there are some clever ideas behind "what's going on", but it's not enough. The main idea (I won't spoil it) seems too far fetched. Worst, it's just not interesting to watch.It seems evident that the main actors do a pretty good job at what they were asked to do, but their characters seem to lack depth. Along with the story - they don't get any more interesting as time goes on.If you're a big Clive Barker fan, you will probably want to see this to see what his thinking is like these days. For everyone else, pass on this one.