Such a frustrating disappointment

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

When i look for a fun film to watch i want some elements that keep me hooked for long for that the James Bond franchise did it very well that is another story i wont go into i am a huge bond fan seen all films.This is not even a horror film it is an insult to it honestly when it comes to spoof/parody genre there are plenty of films made better then this all you have to do is use search engine online besides that IMDb is full of it.Since late 90s a lot of comedy films came put that not only feature comedy the makers used to include some sex on purpose so everyone can have some good time even perverts and porn lovers and i do like some of them they created a balance that hardly any film brings nowadays.This 2009 release is a mess of a film that fails on all levels mainly providing entertainment to audience this was a sequel to some national lampoon series films that franchise sucks to be honest first of all there was no script for this film you can tell all those dialogs and nonsense these people were doing it was all on their own.The film was shot in Romania in a large castle that is the only best thing about this film a haunting location and some nice sets as for the cast the guys are forgettable but the ladies are hot specially Jennifer Lyons,Nicole Garza,Natalie Garza these two are twin sisters but what was Musseta Vander doing her she is a great actress she should never have sinned this film contract Musseta looks amazing in black costume doing stunts pretending to be batman.So when i payed money for the disc it was not my choice the DVD store guy was a friend of mine he gave that to me saying it is a good film the DVD comes with useless special features with boring trailers,the making,deleted scenes and outtakes it made me laugh that so much money was wasted by these producers on marketing instead of creating a good original story i keep wondering if all these deleted scenes were put back in the film it will still make it not worthy of time.The Plot:few students from America go to Romania these guys also make plans of having fun while studying but things go wrong as they stay in a large castle the horror begins when vampires starts to lurk everywhere.This film is not funny a bit there is no hot scenes either i am not asking for a soft core film but make me laugh please just like Chris tucker do that is comedy slap stick used to be fun but only legends like Charlie Chaplin or Rowan Atkinson do that these young idiots are nowhere close to them they redefined comedy,the people hated this film even so called critics who love bad movies will not give this a chance.I keep waiting when this will be over so i could do other things but not it goes from bad to worse the characters are awful and this small guy keeps popping up from nowhere and disappearing for no reason why the team of this film tried so hard to make it so serious when they knew they are making a spoof film each scene is extended to make you cringe if anyone remembers scary movie series the first 2 installments are the most hilarious ever those films are a fine example of how a comedy film should be.Overall Transylmania 2009 is one of the worst comedy film ever everyone should avoid it made my rating is 1/10.Skipp It

I had never been in an empty theater before until Saturday, when my girlfriend and I went to see this and we were the only ones there. It was very weird and very creepy. I figured we were in trouble but we stuck it out and watched the whole thing. And I liked it a lot. I've spent the last two days reading how much everyone hates this movie and since I didn't, I have to post here for the first time with my theory on what the studio did wrong. Here goes. I'm a film student so I try to see everything. I watch 4-5 movies on DVD a week and 1-2 in the theaters. And they are completely different experiences. I saw Vincent Gallo's Buffalo 66 on DVD two weeks ago and I loved it. I saw a movie I never knew existed called Little Noises with Tatum Oneal and Crispen Glover on DVD that had the worst sound in the world and it was still great. But I think if I had seen those things in the theaters I would have hated them. I saw Transformers 1 in the theater and I liked it. Then I saw it on DVD and realized it sucks. In the theater you want it to be big and know they spent money. You can't always follow the story because so much is coming at you with sound and sight so you don't even notice when the plot sucks. This thing was cheap and looks it. But I still liked it. It was complicated as hell but was funny and somehow very interesting. I think being in the theater pretty much alone it felt like I was watching a DVD on my couch. But the studio made a HUGE mistake putting this in theaters. They also made trailers that made you think it was a spoof which it isn't. I want to hear what people say about this when they see it at home. Date Movie and Epic movie suck on DVD. I bet this won't. That is my theory.

This film was put together very well for what it was. It delivers all that it promises. Nothing more, and nothing less. This is not a movie to be analyze in order to try to find meaning. It is purely to allow you to forget that reality exists for an hour and a half.If you know your vampire lore, or at least your vampires movies, you will LOL. Some of the references are rather obvious, but there are a few that are harder to spot. There are also a homage to a past horror parody. :P This is probably one of the funnier comedies I've seen lately. The nice thing with this film is that it is a pure comedy, as opposed to the ever popular romantic comedy. The plot is executed very well. The effort put into the background and stunts is apparent. There is a seriousness in some of the characters and events that enhances the comedic aspect of the movie, which makes for a good laugh fest.By the way, I do not work in the film industry, nor am I a professional critic or know a professional critic. Just in case anyone was wondering.

Transylmania (1:35, R) — Other: Comedy, 3rd string, original, OSIT chauvinistsWhen you're shooting for stupidly outrageous, it's really, really easy to slip off the tracks and end up as outrageously stupid. That's what happened to the parody Stan Helsing, for example. And that was a movie that featured at least a few actors that you'd heard of before and a character who was supposed to be a descendant of Dracula's Abraham Van Helsing. Transylmania features nobody you've ever heard of before, and one of its characters is a descendant of vampire hunter Victor Van Sloan, equally unknown to history prior to today.Nonetheless, Transylmania works on its own terms. It follows 10 American college students, every one of them a flaming stereotype, as they arrive for a semester abroad in Romania, specifically Transylvania (where the movie was actually shot), explicitly at Razvan University, whose campus is in historic Castle Razvan, which 500 years ago was the home of famed vampire Count Radu. Rumor has it that the count is immortal, a hypothesis quickly confirmed as we find him roaming the corridors. Rusty, the student who opens the film as our narrator, is a dead ringer for the count, made more so when (by sheer coincidence) he dresses up for the freshman welcome ball in exactly the same outfit that Radu habitually wears.Also among the American students are a couple of stoner lads who discover their blue jeans are a local gold mine; twin sisters, Lia the goody-goody and Danni the try-anything good- time gal; Newmar, the inept football player; Lynne, the nymphomaniac airhead cheerleader who has the hots for him; and Cliff, the oaf who figures the way to impress women is by claiming to be a vampire hunter. He uses this line on Prof. Teodora Van Sloan (the aforementioned descendant of Victor), and she takes him with the same deadly seriousness with which she approaches vampire hunting in general. With lips, vocal tone, and swordplay, she evokes Catherine Zeta-Jones in Zorro.* (In the only college class we actually see on screen, she demos self-defense techniques involving decapitation and a stake thru the heart. In response to a question she says "Vampires? Don't be silly. Now let's talk about what to do if someone jumps at you from out of a coffin." The rest of the movie is much like this.)The mcguffin is a music box containing the soul of Radu's true love, the sorceress Stephanie, entrapped there by Victor. It was lost half a millennium ago but has recently been rediscovered. It falls into Lynne's hands. Every time she opens it, she's possessed by Stephanie; then, when it's closed, she reverts, wondering what happened.There's much more. Dean Floca, the dwarf with a dungeon. His dotter Draguta, totally babeulicious chatting with Rusty via videocam but sporting a hideous hunchback in real life. Better than the Kama Sutra, the Codex Eroticon, which "can blow a chick's mind". The machine that keeps disembodied heads alive. The tall, gawky student who once kissed another guy while drunk and can't live it down. The horses with the odd reaction to the word "Razvan". Much of this is throwaway stuff, but a lot of it actually advances the plot.Really, the story is way more complex that you'd ever expect for something played as broadly as this — and it's played VERY broadly — but it all hangs together. Not a millisecond of it can be taken even remotely seriously, of course, but the audience is all in on the joke, and the writers (Patrick Casey and Joshua "Worm" Miller) and directors (David and Scott Hillenbrand) make it work.Objectively, this is a terrible movie. But subjectively, I got a real bang out of it. Of course, I happen to be partial to breasts the size of canteloupes, of which there's an abundance, and that helped. And I kept laffing out loud because I kept thinking "Wow, are they really trying to be THAT outrageous? Yeah, I guess they are."So I give it a 5. This is higher than where I've pegged Fantastic Mr. Fox (3) and 2012 (4) and a coin-flip with that other vampire movie in town. Does that mean that I'd rather see Transylmania than those others? Yes. Yes, I would. Heaven help me, yes, I would. YMMV. No guarantees.––––––*I don't recall that Catherine ever went in for the tight-black-leather look, but from now on I'm not going to be able to get that image out of my head.