The Worst Film Ever

It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

I liked this movie a lot; had excellent pacing.My favorite character was the Native American. He knew how to keep his cool in the midst of the chaotic, but well paced events transpiring inside the cabin and around the graveyard. I know that if I were in the presence of something that could be older than Stonehenge, I would just ride my wheelchair right off a balcony or down a flight of stairs. Despite not being Native American (I don't think...?) he was perfectly cast, and his accent was dead on. I have seen other movies about Natives, like Braveheart and that one movie about the sled dog and the Eskimos that had Kevin Costner in it, and this guy was right up there with the very best. I learned a lot about his culture!My second favorite character was the girl that was tied to the table the entire time, who spoke in tongues. These scenes did not go on long enough.My third favorite character was the girl who wanted to kill everyone. This is an example of losing one's wits!! LMAO!My fourth favorite character was the guy who killed the first girl who who spoke in tongues. He was funny in a weird sort of way--the "beak nose" of the film, so to speak. Though I may have him confused with my least favorite character...the sixth.My fifth favorite character was the girl who fell in love with the zombie and was able to use the power of love to nullify zombie magic. This was a powerful life-lesson and I made my children come into the room to watch this part of the film ***they weren't allowed to watch the rest though because this is not an appropriate film for younger children***My sixth favorite character was the sixth character. I may have him confused with my fourth favorite character though--I have a hard time telling people apart. The production values were a little lackluster but that was made up for by storytelling and the excellent pacing. The rate of time by which the plot progressed left a little to be desired for, but this was made up for by the fact that there were 6 people in the movie (for a lot more information about these characters plz see above). I would recommend this film to anyone interested in history, and Native American Cultures.

Why would I even watch this? It was a double feature on my Jigsaw DVD, which is quite possible the worst movie ever made. However I was bored and wanted to watch something new, so I grabbed this off the shelf. I've got to admit that it was better than Jigsaw, but that isn't saying much. The basic concept was the only thing the movie had going for it, but they ran it into the ground. 6 people find themselves part of an ancient ritual in which 3 of them must kill and 3 of them must die. If handled well, it could have been a decent plot. Of course being a Full Moon picture, it was not handled well by any stretch of the imagination. When a movie has to have a psychic, it bothers me. It's rarely more than a cheap way to get out of explaining parts of the plot. What does this movie do? The whole friggin' cast is psychic! No point explaining how or why they're at the cabin, they're just psychic and got called by some kind of force. The actors, like in any Full Moon flick, give some of the worst performances ever seen in front of a camera. Their characters are so poorly written they cant even decide on what they think is going on from one minute to the next. The random dream sequence made no sense, and if I'm not mistake it stole footage from various other films. The "mosters" looked like they were rejected from the latest Puppet Master sequel, and if you happen to be epileptic you might just get a seizure from the terrible editing and strobe lights.Overall, this is pure garbage. Not as bad as Jigsaw, but horrible none-the-less. Avoid if you value your time.2/10

[CONTAINS A SPOILER BELOW]This was one of the most pathetic movies I've ever seen in my life. I seriously want my 80+ minutes back from my life!!!The plot makes no sense, and the actors--where did they dredge up those talentless teens, the local 7-11?! But perhaps the worst part is [***SPOILER WARNING***]when one of the characters has a pointless dream midway through the movie about some vikings attacking a fakey-looking medieval castle, while some bored-sounding guy is narrating. WHY?!?! It made absolutely NO SENSE compared to the rest of this movie. It was as though someone came along and just stuck in this part for no reason, just to mess with viewers' heads.Avoid this movie at all costs, unless you like seeing soap actors in movies (one of the girls was in "Bold and the Beautiful").

I knew I was in trouble, when the production company for this movie showed absolutely zero production value trailers, as "coming soon" attractions. Of course, it can be said that TOTEM is a thinking person's movie. It left me thinking "why did I spend good money renting this?" I also thought: "IMDb will need to add zero to their ratings scale, if more movies like this are made." The paper thin plot involves 6 teens (inexplicably) drawn to this cabin in the middle of nowhere. They can't escape because of some invisible shield, as the viewer is informed through a very talky script. In fact, that's what most of this movie is, talk, talk and more talk. The fleeting scenes where any action occurs, seems almost coincidental. The special effects look like something performed in a grammar school production. Good grief, these kids are dull. They're NOT even nubile, which seems to be a prerequisite for teen/horror flicks! Kind viewer beware of the "TOTEM"-Of course, I mean the movie- not the object of it. You have been warned.