I saw this movie before reading any reviews, and I thought it was very funny. I was very surprised to see the overwhelmingly negative reviews this film received from critics.

There is just so much movie here. For some it may be too much. But in the same secretly sarcastic way most telemarketers say the phrase, the title of this one is particularly apt.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

There's a more than satisfactory amount of boom-boom in the movie's trim running time.

Redneck Texas gardeners Jacob (a creepy mute portrayal by Adam Berke) and Billy Buck (broadly overplayed with hysterical eye-rolling relish by John Smihula) go to Long Island in search of work. Offended by the stuck-up smugness of their spoiled rotten yuppie clients, the deranged duo decide to embark on a vicious killing spree.Writer/director Nathan Schiff pokes gleefully wicked fun at the greed, selfishness, and shallowness of the 80's yuppie craze while maintaining a steady pace and a blithely twisted mean-spirited tone throughout. Moreover, Schiff goes delightfully overboard with the outrageous and excessive in-your-face explicit splatter: Intestines are unraveled, a spear gets shoved where the sun doesn't shine, faces are demolished, skulls get cracked open, eyes are torn out, and so on in a lingering manner that's really something to behold. The primitive no-frills filmmaking style and eager, yet amateurish acting give this picture a pleasingly raw immediacy. Cool ironic ending, too. A satisfying slice of vintage 80's dimestore splatter trash.

Nathan Schiff's third film is yet another gorefest that is gloriously short (clocking in at only 70 minutes) but that's all you need b/c there is no plot and no acting chops at all. Well, actually, I can't deny that John Smihula did a decent job as the Southern hick "mastermind" who ends up killing a bunch of Northern yuppies with his deranged friend. The way he delivered his lines made the horrendous dialogue only that much funnier. More entertaining in terms of gleeful abandonment of any attempt at making a serious film. I mean the dialogue is worse than most porn movies (it's truly truly TRULY bad). The gore is impressive though yet again (taking into consideration that this is a NO-budget movie) and that's all that really matters…watching people's faces get ripped off and their intestines yanked out in gloriously fake (but utterly disgusting and vile) detail. Long live Schiff!

First off: please don't complain that this flick is terrible simply because of the bad acting, fake gore or lack of storyline. It was clearly meant to be that way for it is a low budget film. Whatever budget they did have was obviously spent on the gore - this is a gore flick, nothing more nothing less. It's as fake as hell but it keeps you watching, there's never a dull moment. There are also some hilarious lines such as when the girl cries "Please don't rape me!" in the most unconvincing voice ever, to which the gardener replies: "I ain't gonna rape you bitch, you smell like fish, I never did like seafood!" Me and my friend are always quoting that line! It's so bad but so hilarious. If you watch this with the right frame of mind, ie. not expecting a great film but expecting fake gory silliness, then you should enjoy it. Sadly there's not many people around that would take this film for what it is.

This is only the first film I've seen from the collection of Long Island director and exploitation buff Nathan Schiff (I believe it was his third) and I was fairly amused by it, which was his intention for the most part. In that regard, TDCTGA (a fun title, by the way) was occasionally entertaining for me in a humorous way and prevented it from being a BOMB.Of course, it's 8mm homegrown film-making and extremely crude, too. The acting and dialogue is terrible across the board, and there's no real story to the gruesome festivities other than two Texas dimwits hacking folks to pieces out in the suburbs -- but narrative is not necessarily a requirement for an exploitation flick, as long as it delivers the gory goods. And in that department, Schiff surprised me at times with the realistic-looking execution of some of his splatter sequences, while at other times they were so obviously fake that they lost the desired effect. In any case, it's always interesting to see independent efforts like this one, and note how the filmmakers try to utilize whatever effects, sets and locations are available to them. Here, a ravaged old house that was about to be torn down is put to good use as the sickening dwelling place of our featured maniacs.If this had been made 20 years earlier it probably could have played in grindhouse theatres. It's too bad times have changed. Anyway -- I'd think gore hounds could have some laughs with this one if they know what to expect going in. And what not to expect. * out of ****