Surprisingly incoherent and boring

It's a mild crowd pleaser for people who are exhausted by blockbusters.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

It's a movie as timely as it is provocative and amazingly, for much of its running time, it is weirdly funny.

"The Washingtonians" was a pretty funny episode. It's an hilarious concept, though I admit that there were a few moments when I thought what I was seeing on the screen had to be somehow blasphemous.Nevertheless, I found it funny and think it's great that such taboos can be explored, though I pray the average viewer is smart enough to slough off the ridiculous notion that Washington was a cannibal. With the amount of, and overall zaniness of conspiracy theories today, this one could be off to the races.That small bit of social commentary aside, the film has a bit of gore, a funny concept, few scares, and a lot of camp.The concept alone makes it worth watching if you're bored. From a critical standpoint, the "concept" itself seems to straddle an objective line, poking fun at both lame conspiracy theories and our pre-conceived idolization of certain historical figures.Sadly, it almost seems as if the director took a fine piece of complex satire and dumbed it down to a Michael Moore film, to convey that "America sucks. Oh yeah, George Bush, too."

George Washington was a cannibal! That is about all this has to offer in the joke category. The man you thought was a patriot just wanted to eat virgins. Once you get past the easy laugh, there isn't much to enjoy. Dull conspiracy, some hiding, and looking for allies. It all ends in a showdown where the baddies explain everything you always wanted to know about cannibalism, but where to afraid to ask before being slaughtered for the freaks that they are. It's all fairly mild and unimpressive and I would have left it at that had it not involved good old George. He may not be today's idea of a perfect man, but if you are going to come at him, it should at least be a little more complex than bad teeth and cherry jokes.

The value of Peter Medak's master degree in horror is debatable, since he only just directed one terrific classic in the genre ("The Changeling") and one inferior but fun & gory sequel ("Species II"), but he nevertheless delivered a worthwhile addition to the series' second season. "The Washingtonians" has an original premise and a fairly large amount of suspenseful sequences, particularly during the first half hour when the outcome is still somewhat of a mystery. And unlike most other installments of this show, the concept has the courage to mildly provoke. The story revolves on George Washington being a bloodthirsty cannibal – even with a preference for the flesh of young children and virgins – and a small group of Virginian disciples are still practicing his murderous habits. Considering the first President of the United States is still (and always) seen as a genuine hero and founding father of the nation, "The Washingtonians" just might upset a handful of old-fashioned people here and there. Not too much, however, as the overall tone of the episode is as much blackly comical as it is creepy. In the basement of his recently deceased grandmother's house in Virginia, Mike Franks finds a note written by no other than George Washington himself. This could be a great historical discovery, wouldn't it be that the message is hugely disturbing and talks about the dismemberment & devouring of little children. When they hear about the note, the friendly old people in town promptly turn into hostile and menacing aggressors that won't hesitate to kill and eat Mike and his family in order to recover the note. "The Washingtonians" is adequately fast-paced and well directed. Highlight of the short film is unquestionably the scene in the local restaurant, where the elderly townsfolk outrageously & primitively munch large portions of red meat. Still, in a story revolving on cannibalism, I expected a bit more gore and slaughter. Johnathon Schaech is decent in the lead role, but the woman who played his wife Pam (the largely unknown Venus Terzo) impressed me a lot more. She's a talented beauty with a gorgeous rack. That might be an infantile and tasteless thing to say, but it's the truth.

"The Changeling" is one of the most effective haunted-house films ever made; paradoxically, 'The Washingtonians' is one of the weakest entries in the "Masters of Horror" series. However, I do not think Peter Medak (the director of both) is entirely to blame for this--what begins as a very cool concept rife with horrific potential (the notion that our concept of 'history' has glossed over the transgressions of our forefathers, including George Washington's penchant for dining on virgins) disintegrates into a tug-of-war between seriousness and camp. While Medak exhibits the same skilled use of light, shadow, fog, and flourishing camera moves that made "The Changeling" so endearing, 'The Washingtonians' script (by Johnathon Schaech and Richard Chizmar) is clunkily paced and tonally unfocused, shooting for satire, straight horror, or broad comedy at any given moment. The result is simply too uneven to be satisfying on any level. And possibly the biggest detriment is co-writer Schaech's performance in the lead role--unable to emote or recite dialog convincingly, his presence leaves us rooting for the cannibals all the way (Saul Rubinek--looking a lot like George Wendt--fares slightly better with his comedic bits). And while there is some suspense, and the wigs, makeup, and costumes are superb (including some of the most imposing orthodontics ever filmed), 'The Washingtonians' comes off as coldly as a corpse in winter.4.5 out of 10