Touches You

The Worst Film Ever

best movie i've ever seen.

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

Obviously made to cash in on "Women In Love" but lacking in the former's brooding atmosphere or rampant sensuality, The Virgin & The Gypsy promises much but fails to deliver.The racy (for its time) title and the full-on nudity of its predecessor must have brought out the dirty mac brigade in droves when it was released. If so, they were to be sorely disappointed. Here we find Franco "Sex On Legs" Nero paired with an unremarkable lead actress of charisma-bypass proportions. No chemistry between them. None.The editing seems to be remarkably clumsy and I've yet to see a print that has been remastered which all adds to the the impression of a moth-eaten also-ran. The pace is slow. The production values are cheap. It's just not very good.

Christopher Miles' take on DH Lawrence is perhaps more delicate in its execution than Ken Russell's Women in Love, but no less appealing to watch. He strongly evokes the period of Lawrence's novella and the stifling home atmosphere that the heroine, Yvette, returns to. In that role, Joanna Shimkus displays beauty, spirit and conflicting emotions in equal measure, kicking against the straight-laced boundaries of her family and trying to come to terms with a dark secret at its heart, when no-one else will.Into her life comes Franco Nero's saturnine gypsy, who has an immediate and increasing effect on the young woman. Having recently seen him as the pure of heart, but initially pompous Sir Lancelot in Camelot, his performance here is more akin to that seen in Django - a man of very few words, inclined more to action to express himself. It's not hard to see why Yvette is attracted to him - not only strikingly handsome, but also the absolute opposite of the young men she knows in the village, who all seem pervaded with post-WW1 uncertainty. There are plenty of sensual moments and a strong feeling of the desire he has created in her, as much to escape the familial bonds as anything else.The denouement of the film almost seems a little rushed in the end, but perhaps this is down to its faithfulness to the original book which is just 10 chapters long. Worth a viewing if you enjoy other Lawrence adaptations, period tales or romantic dramas.

This film (written by Alan Plater from the story by DH Lawrence, and directed at a slow pace by Christopher Miles) is engrossing, evocative, and boasts fine performances from Franco Nero as the Gypsy and Joanna Shimkus as the frustrated, rebellious Yvette.Yvette has been away in France at school and returns to the stifling atmosphere of the family Rectory (father Maurice Denham is a righteous sort who resents the desertion of his wife when Yvette and her sister Lucille were children; aunt Kay Walsh is a ranting religious nut who sees the presence of the devil in Yvette's free spirited ways; Grandma Fay Compton is senile, difficult, and has a viper's tongue; Uncle Fred, Norman Bird, is laid back and given to quiet tolerance of the family ways; and sister Harriet Harper is full of guilt at the betrayal of the mother when she flew the nest).She finds free spirited friends (Honor Blackman and Mark Burns as the shockingly living-in-sin pair Mrs Fawcett and Maj Eastwood) and becomes enamoured of the brooding gypsy (Nero) whose blue eyes look at her with true desire.There are recurring motifs throughout the film - mainly of water, which has much to contribute to the climax of events which make up Yvette's mind conclusively. Does she stay and marry Leo (a rich man's son with little personality - played by Jeremy Bulloch) or does she take her chance in a world which accepts her? It is interesting to compare this film with the earlier 'Sky West and Crooked' which took similar themes (and the same story as a starting point of suggestion) but went in a quite different direction.

Browsing through and cataloguing my tapes just now (I genuinely had nothing better to do) I found this film 'The Virgin and the Gypsy', which I must have taped off channel 5 some time back for the sole purpose of forwarding through to the saucy bits, weapon at the ready and perched alertly over the remote.Now that I'm too old for such shenanigans (and not living at home has taken away the 'someone-could-walk-in-at-any-minute' edge), I thought I'd actually watch the film.To summarise, it's not that great, not that bad, some nice photography, I just found out the main bird is Mrs Sidney Poitier, she is very good looking in it, but provides very little amusement for adolescent armchair residents, especially in these days of the internet (where nothing less than a horse-midget combo will do). And I reckon the guy (the 'Gypsy' of the title) inspired Kevin Rowland's Dexy's 'look'.