SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

Good start, but then it gets ruined

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.

Two video game loving young men decide to break into a mortuary in the middle of the night, only to discover the attendant with his throat ripped out and blood everywhere. Oh, and a vampire, too! After one of the two is killed by the vampire, how will the other defeat him? Or will he? This episode comes from director Ernest Dickerson ("Bones") and writer Mick Garris ("Chocolate"), two people who are not really "masters of horror" in the eyes of the mainstream. And choosing vampires as your plot is really nothing new or creative (and they don't take it in any new directions).Now, the movie has the point of view of a vampire, or someone turning into a vampire, who does not wish to become fully undead. I'm pretty sure this has been covered in the past in other films, but an interesting story just the same. Vampires are typically seen as evil or (at best) misunderstood, but rarely do we see vampires who didn't want to be vampires. How far will they go to rid themselves of the vampiric cravings? Others have said they enjoyed the police 911 calls, and sure, they're alright. I didn't think they were amazing, and quite frankly it was unclear to me if they really happened or if he was imagining making the calls. The movie in general really wasn't that funny. It had some okay references ("Doom 3" and naming the vampire Chaney after Lon Chaney) but it was still weak.The vampire was played by Michael Ironside, who is like the poor man's Jack Nicholson. He did a fine job. Nothing much more I can say... well, except I also liked the black contact lenses. Nice touch.This episode was alright, but again nothing special. Season two is just not what season one was. Up through episode five, I saw one episode I liked (John Landis' "Family"), so that's not a good sign when I have only 8 more to go. Maybe you're be more generous and forgiving, but if this is a trend, season three will be a nightmare.

The second season of Masters is going downhill quick. After a strong start, John Landis started the downward slide with the hohum "Family" and it keeps on going with Ernest Dickerson's "The V Word". for starters, the v word of the title is for vampire. Strike one. The vampire subgenre is so overused that its just become blase. The story is pretty boring too. Two friends break into a morgue and accidentally unleash a vampire, becoming night walkers as well in the process. The best thing about this episode is Michael Ironside. He is one mean mofo. Its too bad that he's underused in the episode. There are some great scenes of atmosphere, but alone they are not enough to save another episode from getting weighed down by itself. Here's hoping the season takes a turn for the better since John Carpenter is coming up with his take.

Two teenagers (Brandon Nadon and Arjay Smith) go to a funeral home one night to visit a cousin. They find the place completely deserted and dark...but then things start rearranging themselves, they discover blood on the floor...and one of the bodies starts moving...That's all good--but that's only the first half hour. It then turns into a strange and bloody vampirish story. Supposedly they need blood to live...but have no fangs. Also their wounds never heal. And sunlight can kill them. And they can see themselves in mirrors. This movie plays fast and loose with the vampire legend. After a while I wasn't sure WHAT they could do! It's also never explained how they became this way. It's saved by good direction and likable performances by Smith and especially Nardon--but it gets confused and dreary. Not terrible but I was wondering WHAT the point was.

First of all, kudos to Mick Garris for writing the script, then standing back and letting someone else take the reins on this one, especially when that someone is Ernest Dickerson (TALES FROM THE CRYPT PRESENTS: DEMON KNIGHT; BONES). Dickerson has proved before that he knows his way around dark rooms, creaky staircases and slamming doors. This is the kind of story that needs buttloads of atmospheric spookiness, and in the first half, Spike Lee's former DP really "kicks it old-school." The whole first half brings to mind the feel of such teen-vamp classics as FRIGHT NIGHT and THE LOST BOYS. It's only in the second half where a lot of the tight storytelling starts to unravel, even with the excellent acting by the leads.Best buds Gary (Arjay Smith) and Justin (Branden Nadon) are kickin' it one night, hanging out with Gary playing the latest edition of "Doom" while Justin argues with his adulterous ass of a father. Spurred on by anger and frustration, Justin dares his best friend to go to the local mortuary, sneak in and peek at the body of a kid they know, who was killed recently in a bad car accident.So the boys wanna see a dead body? Collinswood Mortuary is glad to oblige, with plenty of dead people strewn about...and one UNDEAD customer in particular. The second half of the story is where the consequences of this unfortunate meeting play out.It's also where some of the details of the story begin to fall apart. On the positive side, Michael Ironside gets to play one of the meaner, uglier vamps we've seen in a while, since BUFFY and ANGEL went off the air. He definitely has as much fun as Robert Englund did with his Season One appearance. Smith and Nadon are also very good as characters that inspire more sympathy than irritation.Also - Garris' script plays fast and loose with the rules and trappings of vampire lore, which can be good, but not if inconsistencies abound as they do here. There's not a thing that's sexy or sensual about these bloodsuckers. Having no fangs, they have to literally shred their victims' throats to feed, and once the victims become the undead, the neck wound doesn't 'magically' heal over. Messy, but realistic.Their reflections CAN be seen in mirrors and it's hinted at that garlic does pose a problem. And they can be killed by beheading, (but not by being staked,) as well as by sunlight. (HUH?) Although he was trying to throw some twists in there, I wish that Garris had stuck with the traditional slant that horror fans know and love about vampires, much in the same way that FRIGHT NIGHT and LOST BOYS did. Both those films held with the established rules and still managed to put their own spin on vampirism.Having said that, I'd like to see a Part Two to this tale, (you'll see why with the ending.) A good effort, but I can't rate it any higher than I have, and it really only gets an 'eight' because of the great first half, the outstanding KNB effects and the acting - especially Ironside's marvelously malevolent performance.