Who payed the critics
... View MoreToo much about the plot just didn't add up, the writing was bad, some of the scenes were cringey and awkward,
... View MoreIn other words,this film is a surreal ride.
... View MoreThis is ultimately a movie about the very bad things that can happen when we don't address our unease, when we just try to brush it off, whether that's to fit in or to preserve our self-image.
... View MoreWow! Does Godfrey Ho have an ear for dialog or what, with such golden lines such as: "Master, Charles is here. / Charles? You mean the new leader of the red ninjas? / Yes, I saw him in the woods, practicing the supreme power of the golden ninja warrior"."Take this letter to my brother at once... I need his help. I GOTTA HAVE THE GOLDEN NINJA WARRIOR! To establish my-supreme-ninja-power! GO! / Yes Master".or perhaps best of all,"Sh-- how dare you beat me up! I'm the tough guy here! / You started it. It wasn't my fault. / My brother here and me don't like your attitude.... if you're gonna stick around here, we're gonna kick your ass and blow YOU right out of town. / Come on let's go Steve. (This movie has a little bit of everything, including a Chinaman named Steve.) The Ultimate Ninja..... what we have here is just another of grand-schlockmeister Ho's many nonsensical and ridiculous ninja outings from the 80's; incompetent yes, but more cliché then anything else, however it's not without it's moments. Godfrey Ho really cranked out these movies in the 80's and having seen many a ninja flick I can confidently conclude that no one made more of them then the Ho-Man; whose outlook on film-making always seemed to be: make em' fast, make em' cheap, make em' often and lastly, make em' pure crap. Out of all the ninja flicks I've seen over the years none of them have featured any acting that's worthy of mention and the plots behind them are usually even less compelling, but if it's action you're looking for, well then these briskly-paced and typically ridiculous films (which heavily rely on shock-value and routinely scoff at the laws of physics) often deliver the goods, in the form of exciting cinematic excursions of high-flying nin-jastic grandiosity! Just don't expect ANYTHING resembling realism. But sadly with (and regardless of it's title) "The Ultimate Ninja" it has very few positives to speak of.As is typical of his ninja-flicks, Godfrey Ho's movies are among the most amateurish and haphazard to be found in the genre, they are often little more than derivative cut n' paste jobs, loaded with jerky incoherent editing, insufficient lighting, questionable cinematography, harsh/shrill sound quality, laughably bad voice-dubbing, insanely corny dialog, excessively loud and ridiculous sound-effects (even for the standards of martial films!) as well as numerous examples of blatant musical plagiarism, etc. However, as harsh as all that may sound, his movies still manage to be quite entertaining, but in the most single-digit and low-brow way possible. To be even more blunt on the matter when watching a Godfrey Ho ninja mash-up, one should fully expect nothing other then ridiculous, poorly-acted dreck, in which the filming-editing is often nearly as violent and chaotic as the fight scenes themselves are. The Ultimate Ninja, the movie in review, was made in his mid-80's heyday and it's every frame possesses Godfrey Ho's unmistakable touch, who by then, had a developed a distinctive (not to be confused with good) style of film-making.As mentioned above with Ultimate Ninja there are really two -completely unrelated- movies happening and they proceed to cut back and forth until the end. Why director Ho thought this was a good idea.... well you'll just have to ask him. The films fight choreography has it's moments, however I find it to fall well short in that respect compared to most of his movies and martial arts films in general. But watch out for the fight scene involving the Kung-Fu instructor "Egle" and the three knife-wielding baddies, that guy utterly moves like greased lightning and it's thrilling to watch him in action, truly a great martial artist - but was the fake mustache really necessary. That's another part of Godfrey Ho's formula, for his movies he typically cast guys of anglo-saxon descent (aka white guys), usually with mustaches, in the role of the "good ninja". In the case of The Ultimate Ninja some mustachioed white guy named Charles (yep, "Charles the ninja") takes over as the leader of the "red ninjas" when his master dies, whose last words to him were "Be a good ninja, Charles." which sadly, isn't even close to being the movies worst dialog.Ultimately what you get with this witless and amateurish action flick, is a pointless and poorly-acted/over-dubbed, convoluted martial arts mash-up of unrelated characters, settings and events; and the more you watch this lame little flick, the more it weaves it's web of lame and unconnected plots, that which have virtually no intrigue or originality. Like so many bad movies it's mostly due to the incompetence of it all, that this movie registers any semblance of entertainment - save for a few all too brief moments of inspired fight choreography.Lastly, I find the acting of Staurt Smith (leader of the bad ninjas) to be incredibly intense and highly entertaining he also has most of the movies worst (ie best) lines and in light of his awesome performance I think that he deserved some kind of an award for his "smouldering" intensity. Rock-On Stuart! And keep muggin' for the camera, pure gold.PS - And a big thanks goes out to "bzerk" for helping track down a copy of this obscure offering of 80's ninja-schlock cinema.
... View MoreGodfrey Ho strikes again! No edit suites are safe from his rabid Cut N' Paste antics. Enigma-lite protagonists get busy with garish Ninja fighting jimmy-jams; boozehounds and insomniacs rejoice as the Rev. Godfrey hath spoken; and his word is law, Ninja Law; a garish world where continuity, linear plotting and quality acting make poor bedfellows. The Godfrey Ho method eschews such reactionary thinking...'Ultimate Ninja' is a maverick cinematic exercise whereby any lumpen fool may take center stage (and frequently does!) and all manner of disparate narratives conjoin in a blissfully incompetent union...GODFREY HO, I SALUTE THEE!
... View MoreThings get off to an interesting start in this when a group of black clad ninja led by Stuart Smith assassinate the red ninja master during an attempt to steal both the Golden Ninja Warrior and the Black Ninja Warrior statues (in reality the latter looks like a woefully cheap, painted plaster Paris knock up) Smith manages to grab the black ninja figure and flee albeit at the cost of a shuriken in the back....ouch!Now the stage is set for the number one red ninja disciple (and apparently the only disciple for that matter) played by Bruce Baron to avenge his masters death and retrieve the missing statue.Sadly however, it has to be said that the action pretty much ends right there and then and what we are left with for the rest of the films duration can at best only be described as mind numbing.In true formulaic style for these Godfrey Ho/Joseph Lai cut and splice ninja outings, our hero intermittently challenges one of the antagonist ninja and defeats them within about 10 seconds flat(!!!!!) Only the final showdown lasts any longer than this and thankfully, is a bit more entertaining, although again, as is typical in these movies, the villains sudden demise comes about so abruptly that if you blink you may miss it!The other movie into which the ninja segments have been edited is also a revenge story and contains some of the most boring martial arts choreography I have ever had the displeasure to sit through! I won't bother to describe it in any detail, suffice to say that it was so dull that I almost passed out whilst watching.So, not exactly a riveting movie you might deduce.......and you'd be entirely correct - this is in my opinion, one of the least enjoyable of the numerous cut & splice ninja movies from our favourite director Godfrey Ho.However.........the film IS still worth watching believe it or not, for one reason only.........you really haven't lived until you have seen Stuart Smith's 'acting' abilities!Whenever this man utters a line (beneath his voice over) he really goes out and out to exaggerate the relevant emotion on his face!!!The result is frankly hilarious to behold and clearly demonstrates why Stuart Smith is held in such high esteem amongst Z-grade movie fans.
... View MoreEveryone once in a while we people stumbled upon a piece of art, a book, a painting or a movie for that matter that will fundamentally change our lives. 'The Ultimate Ninja' has had a similar impact on my life.The plot is extremely moving and very psychologically interesting touching topics such as father-son-relationships, rape victims, and first and foremost the hardships of people ruled by evil tyrants. Hence the exciting personal relationships are the foundation, upon which this highly political movie is based. I'm especially impressed with the brilliant action skills of the actors, mainly Bruce Baron of course, but Stuart Steen is also a very talented young man, who has surely got a promising future ahead of him. The force of the movie is really that the epic story is presented in such an entertaining and realistic way. The fighting skills of Bruce Baron mesmerise everyone and I often watch the ending with its extremely cool special effects.Altogether, I cannot recommend this movie enough. This movie might be the highlight of mankind's effort to transform arts into movies and I beg you people to see it. I'm convinced it'll change your lives as it did with mine.
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