Memorable, crazy movie

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

This movie has done the unthinkable.. it has matched up in almost every way, and likely surpassed in quality of dialogue, the steaming pile of cinematic vomit that is Things (1989). Don't take this as a discouraging statement, however. As a fan of the best/worst sort of B-movies like The Room and Troll 2, I know why some people would refuse to watch movies that belong in the crawlspace underneath the bottom of the barrel of cinema. For me, however, there's nothing quite like 90 minutes of absolute torture that I can spend years hating on afterwards. That's what motivates me to watch movies like Pocket Ninjas or the Star Wars Holiday Special. AND THEN there's movies like Things (1989) and Roller Blade Seven. It's hard to distinguish which is worse.. In Things (1989) you have dialogue spoken directly into a microphone to overdub the unlistenable quality of the camcorder's mic they bought from the local Ma & Pa Canadian electronics shop, making distance from the camera meaningless. All the voices sounded a foot away... And in Roller Blade Seven, you have scenes like getting into a car and driving off repeated a dozen times from different angles for absolutely no reason. In Things (1989) you have the most unappealing, impossible to identify with Canadian hick douchebags attempting to convey a storyline you can only pray leads to all of their deaths. And in Roller Blade Seven, you have characters that hardly speak with dialogue that (at least on my copy) was nearly impossible to understand acting out various events that seem potentially related, but not nearly close enough to string together a real sense of plot. I think Roller Blade seven ultimately takes the prize as worst movie I've ever watched. At least in Things (1989) there's enough dialogue and continuous flow of events (....sorta? not really, no.. but the plot sorta organizes itself eventually). Even after watching The Roller Blade Seven several times, I still don't know what was going on or why. I know there was a rescue mission, but that almost seemed to become unnecessary half way through the movie... and then a few times later in the movie where they suddenly started replaying that same footage again.. I don't know.. my brain hurts thinking about it. ^ See both of those movies, they will bring you years of therapy bills.. but they're two of my top 5 'I'm glad I watched that' movies..

I have read over the comments left for this movie and the film that was made in association with this film LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7. By reading the comments I realize that some people GET IT but most do not. As I stated in my comment for LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7, "Yes, this is a very strange, non-traditional movie, but that is what makes it GREAT. And, I do mean GREAT. Most Independent Films you see have the same style of story line, the same style of (just get the shot) cinematography, and the same type of common editing. This film has none of that. It is completely revolutionary. I think this film really makes a statement and that is something few films do anymore. I think its worth seeking out, especially for film students like myself. It really lets us know that, yes, you can still make art in the film-making process and you can get it released and out there to be seen. "After first viewing LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7, I searched for information about the film on it on the internet and I found Scott Shaw's website. Scott Shaw is the Star, the Editor, and one of the Producers and Screenwriters. On his website he discussed how this was the original version of the film and how the Executive Producer decide to edit THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN and RETURN OF THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN into one film and release it as a single feature LEGEND OF THE ROOLERBLADE 7. Once I read this I had to see the original version. It was really quite easy to find a copy as Amazon.com U.K. sells it. When I view this version (The Director's Cut) of this film, I completely understood what Scott Shaw was saying when he describes how this film was the filmmaker's true vision. Yes, it is much more wild than LEGEND OF THE ROLLERBLADE 7. But, again, it is a true statement of cinematic art. You have to see it to believe it and it is a great inspiration to filmmakers.Keep up the Great Work!

A post-apocalyptic warrior goes off to save some kind of Nun and on the way meets some cyber-punks on skates who want to kick his ass. This is one of the hardest to watch films ever, There are scenes with silence that seems to last hours before somebody comes out with the next badly written, badly acted line. There are action sequences that keep repeating - and we're not talking the quickfire 1-2-3 action repeat on a particularly good kick that was made popular by eastern directors, we're talking many, many repeats of long, bad fight sequences. This is incredibly confusing at first but then quickly becomes annoying as you're watching a 30 second sequence for the 2nd, 3rd and 4th time. Any kind of plot or vision is lost within the confusing continuity, the only thing thats keeps this film in the videoplayer (apart from the bet from a friend that i couldn't watch it all the way through without begging for it to be turned off and disposed off safely so it may harm no-one else) is the fact that although painful, this film is unintentionally hilarious, i'm not at all a fan of those "so bad that it's funny" type of films but at parts i was in tears. Other points to note are the quality of the sound and picture but this is forgiveable as it's obvious money was a major problem in the making of this film. Final verdict - King of the "so bad they're funny" genre, anybody having that kind of genre video night should get themselves a copy. Also lets not forget that it is actually the worst film i've ever seen.

I knew that I was not about to see a quality film when this title was included in a 'B-grade video night' at a friends place. Despite the warnings, I was still surprised at just how bad this film was. It was fortunate that there were a lot of us there to share the pain with each other... The film attempts to tell the story of a dark future, one in which Hawk (a Mad Max type of character) heads off to rescue a damsel in distress. In reality, the plot is a thinly disguised excuse for the producers to promote their own philosophies on life (watch the end credits and the 'these people are not real' disclaimer at the end for a real laugh). The movie is frequently lacking direction, and fails to develop its characters to any degree whatsoever. What's even worse though is the editing of this film. The film repeats scenes (often 10 to 20 seconds long) up to 4 or 5 times in a row. I think that this was an attempt to emulate things like Jean Claude Van-Damme fight sequences, but if it is it fails utterly. The film would probably be about 1/3 of its length if we weren't forced to watch the main character move his head in front of the setting sun half a dozen times (yes, that's all that happens in that repeated scene). I give this movie my 'worst film I've ever seen' award. I doubt that it will be topped any time soon.