Truly Dreadful Film

Sorry, this movie sucks

It's a mild crowd pleaser for people who are exhausted by blockbusters.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

THE OLD DARK HOUSE has many reasons it should be a success. It's an all-colour remake of a 1930s classic that spawned an entire genre of subsequent 'old dark house' style movies, made with strong production values by the reliable chaps at Hammer Films. Imported American director William Castle came off the back of a string of enjoyable hits including HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL and THE TINGLER. You'd think that nothing could go wrong, but you'd be sorely mistaken about that.The truth is that THE OLD DARK HOUSE goes out for the out-and-out spoof approach to poor effect. American funnyman lead Tom Poston simply isn't very endearing or funny, just goofy. The supporting cast of eccentrics is very good, with Fenella Fielding in dry-run mode for CARRY ON SCREAMING, Robert Morley as funny as ever, and Mervyn Johns stealing all his scenes as the old-timer eccentric. The first half an hour of the film sets up the plot and mystery and is quite workable, but it goes downhill from there. The various murder scenes are dragged out and the story elements get sillier and sillier as they go on, with the whole 'Noah's ark' sub-plot being the real nadir. In the end, THE OLD DARK HOUSE is neither scary nor funny, just silly, and a far cry from something much more cheaply-made but far funnier, like WHAT A CARVE UP!

One would expect a collaboration between the American director William Castle and the British production studios Hammer to result in a terrific must-see film, considering they were both horror genre giants in their respective continents during the early sixties. Castle became world famous and appreciated thanks to his morbidly themed but nevertheless light-headed Gothic horror spectacles ("House on Haunted Hill", "Mr. Sardonicus", "13 Ghosts"…), and on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, Hammer studios boomed with the gruesome re-imaging of the legendary Universal classics from the thirties ("Dracula", "The Mummy", "Frankenstein"…). Knowing this, "The Old Dark House" seems to be the ideal marriage, since it's more or less a remake of the underrated 1932 Universal masterpiece and a great opportunity for a director like Castle to showcase his creativity. Strangely enough, however, the film is somewhat of a disappointment and it's only rescued from inglorious mediocrity thanks to a handful of nice gags and an entertaining final act; including a surprising plot-twist and an exciting race against the clock – literally! The rest of the film clumsily bounces back and forth between talkative mystery and immature comedy. Please don't get me wrong, "The Old Dark House" is never boring and I still prefer it over most of the soulless horror junk being released nowadays, but I simply expected a little bit more… American car salesman Tom Penderel drives out to the god-forsaken British countryside in order to deliver a car at the request of his odd pal Caspar Femm. The two share an apartment, but they never see each other since Caspar always mysteriously vanishes before midnight. When he arrives at the sinister Femm country estate, he learns that all the eccentric family members are obliged to stay at the house and gather at midnight, or otherwise they lose the rights to their part of the inheritance of their notorious ancestor (a pirate). Synchronous with Tom's arrival, the family members are being killed off one by one. Tom should leave while, but he fell for the charming cousin Cecily and the remaining Femms suspect him to be the killer. "The Old Dark House" begins delightfully, with animated opening credits by none other than Charles Addams – the creator of the immortal blackly comical series "The Addams Family – and brings forward several great Gothic aspects, like a moody old castle and never-ending thunderstorms. Some of the supportive characters are also uniquely bizarre, like the crazy uncle who's building an arc or the grandmother that doesn't stop knitting, but overall the film isn't absurd or spooky enough. The actual "horror" footage in the film is limited, a few inventive death scenes and a laughably inept moment with a stuffed hyena.

This has nothing to do with the 1932 James Whale masterpiece that still has fans shouting, "No beds! They can't have beds!" That melodrama of madness and murder was at least funny with its collection of eccentric characters, but this one is just plain ridiculous, trying too hard and succeeding not at all. Poor Tom Poston ("Mork and Mindy", "Newhart") is the sap who discovers that through a distant pirate relative of the family tree that he may be related to this house of wackos, possibly one of the heirs to a gloomy British mansion where the residents are all balmy in one way or another. Played as if it was spoofing the traveling melodramas that usually starred someone like Tod Slaughter in the British hinterlands, this fails to achieve its goal of being a comedy, lacking in suspense and the usual surprises of William Castle's collection of camp 60's cult classics.Broadly played, this makes what humor there is there seem forced, and even the droll Robert Morley fails to offer amusement as the family's domineering patriarch. At least some Charles Addams drawings entertain during the credits. As if an afterthought, this also utilizes some of the character's names from the original, even though it has no other relation. It is a pity that Castle didn't cast his "13 Ghosts" actress Margaret Hamilton in the Eva Moore role here; That would have been much more inspired than anything that happens here. My favorite quote from this movie actually came out of my mouth, not the characters, that being, "You've Got to Be Kidding!"

As this film begins, you are bound to notice the wonderful opening credits done by Charles Addams. I do wonder if the hand is that of Addams, though! You have to see it to understand what I mean.The film begins with an American (Tom Poston) being invited by his English friend to come to spend the weekend at his ancestral home in Dartmoor. However, once he arrives, he finds that his friend is dead--lying in state in the creepy old mansion. But, like any scary old house film, the car is damaged and unable to take him home AND the rain is so bad that he really can't leave. That is when the murders begin and it becomes obvious that the house is filled with a bunch of nuts.The film is supposed to be a comedic remake of the classic 1932 film. However, I use the words 'supposed to' because rarely is the film particularly funny and the humor seems very, very forced. In many ways, it looks like a film that Sherwood Schwartz or Hanna-Barbera would have made--with perhaps the Brady kids or even Scooby Doo and Shaggy investigating. This combined with the fact that there have been too many old scary house films (such as AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, THE MONSTER, NUMBER SEVENTEEN, THE BLACK CAT and many, many others) make this one you don't need to rush out to see.By the way, in one of the low-points of the film, a hyena is supposedly menacing Tom Poston. However, the camera shots of the hyena from the front clearly show it's a stuffed animal!! The rear shots are a dog!! Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.