The Worst Film Ever

Pretty Good

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

The one thing you'll no doubt notice when this film begins is that Betty is clearly older. She's 37 and playing a part designed for a teenager or perhaps a woman of 20...plus she simply looks older than 37. She also apparently had far less clout by 1953, as she was cast along with Dale Robertson--not exactly a household name. RObertson wasn't bad in the film, mind you...but he was a big comedown from folks like Don Ameche or Victor Mature in the 30s or 40s. Studio veterans John Carroll and Thelma Ritter are on hand to lend support. This loss in popularity also might help to explain why the once big star was forced to do a remake of a completely unremarkable film. The 1935 version was only fair and here almost two decades later it's essentially the same film but with music and Technicolor. This remake is certainly no better due to the miscasting of Grable, a few very unremarkable songs and a plot that just seemed to drag. Not a bad film but one that clearly showed that Grable's days as a star were nearly passed. Watch it if you'd like but it's only a time- passer and nothing more.

Caught this on a FXM viewing. Despite the title, we never catch sight of a farm or farm house, except from a distance in one scene, until presumably in the finale, with the farm being a mere cartoonish background painting. Otherwise all the action is scripted as taking place along the Erie Canal of 1850 or the canal city of Rome, where construction of the canal began, historically. Handsome Dale Robertson plays the farmer: Dan Harrow. He shows up in Rome, trying to make some extra money to follow his recent fiancé, who is taking a boat to Illinois(weird!). Dan meets sexy Molly Larkins(Betty Grable) in Rome. She is the cook and girlfriend of boat owner Jotham Klore(John Carroll): a stereotypical hard drinking , brawling, canal man : not really Molly's idea of an ideal husband. Although not specified, Jotham is most likely the son of one of the many Scot Irish who dominated the work force in building the canal. Larkins is an Irish surname. Another main character is Fortune Friendly: a ne'er -do-well drifter, played by Eddie Foy Jr.: a holdover from vaudeville, also Irish, of course. Much beloved Thelma Ritter, as the well off 5X widow Lucy Cashdollar(appropriate name):an older friend of Molly, rounds out the main characters. She is paired romantically with Foy, despite his destitute status. I was surprised how much Robertson reminded me of the yet undiscovered Elvis Presley, in his looks, laid back persona and southern drawl, if not singing. His speech makes him seem a very unlikely born and bred up state New Yorker!This is basically a remake of the '35 film of the same title. Prior to that, it had a run as a play, also starring Henry Fonda as Dan. I haven't seen this earlier film for comparison, However, besides the different actors, there are 2 obvious major differences: 1) Technicolor vs. the B&W of the earlier film 2)This is a musical vs. the nonmusical(I assume) earlier film. The all original score was composed by the team of Harold Arlen and Dorothy Fields. While no hit parade songs resulted, they are serviceable songs for the screenplay. Early, on Betty frolics around town, singing the joyous "I Love Everybody". This would be reprised for the finale, on her wedding day, with a team of bucolically-dressed chorus in support. "Something Real Special" was also here very briefly reprised, having been sung by both Dan and Betty, referring to each other. While they are frolicking, taking a breather from refurbishing the abandoned boat Molly was born on, they sing and sometimes dance to "We're in Business", sometimes including a bunch of onlookers. This project, in the absence of the jailed Jotham, serves to further cement a growing romantic relationship. Just prior to this, Dan sings "With the Sun Warm Upon Me", while reclining in a meadow, reminding him of his farm. "On the Erie Canal" is sung by various towns people, celebrating the importance of the canal. "We're Doing It For the Natives of Jamaica" is a drinking song for Jotham and his buddies, after filled with rum. Eddie Foy does a song and eccentric vaudeville-styled dance to "Can You Spell Schenectady?"We have several conflicts in the screen play. There are two significant impediments to a Dan & Molly marriage.1) Both already have a boy or girlfriend. However, these prove not as important in the end. More important, Dan insists on remaining a farmer, whereas Molly insists on remaining a canal 'rat'. Being a farmer's wife she imagines as being too boring and hard a life. Secondly, there is a conflict between the canalmen and the hated railroad builders, who threaten to make the canal obsolete. The canalmen actually overestimate the immediate impact of a competing railroad. True, the railroad soon stole most of the passenger traffic. But, the canal still offered much lower freight rates for decades to come, which saved it from early obsolescence.The barriers to a Molly & Dan marriage are finally resolved by 2 events, 1) Dan receives a letter from his Illinois fiancé, saying she married another farmer.2) During a formal race between Jotham's boat and the boat refurbished by Dan and Molly, Dan and Jotham roll around all over the boat fighting over Molly. Dan is the unofficial winner when he finally knocks Jotham into the canal. This magically causes Molly to forget about her determination not to live on a farm! The next scene features their wedding reception, presumably in Dan's farm house. This ending is very hurried and unconvincing! Simultaneously, Foy marries Lucy, which he previously quipped would be a fate worth than death!(She offered to pay his betting debt if he married her).The take home message for contemporary audiences was similar to that in the contemporary musicals "Anne Get Your Gun" and "Calamity Jane" : Even gorgeous feisty young women should defer to the ambitions and egos of the man they love, if they hope to have a happy love life. This was the era of the say-at-home mom, after the WWII era, when many women were forced to become the 'family boss' and factory wage earner, with their men overseas.As depicted, 2 horses or mules was the norm for pulling most canal boats. However, there were 2 teams that alternated, one being housed within the boat! There was only one tow path, hence the boat race was not a practical reality. As dramatized by Dan's headlong dive into the canal, originally, it was only 4 feet deep, although it was later deepened several times, to allow larger boats.

I would lke to give this a 6 but I just cannot even though I am a big Grable fan, Also a fan of Robertson but this was not his best performance by far. Maybe he felt as out of his element as I perceived him to be.However the weak script and scenes lets the two of them have several moments that the songs couldn't completely ruin.I did burn this to DVD because I really do want to have a complete library of both the stars.The costumes were nice and the color was nice and the 4 major actors/actresses did as much as you could hope for in a weak vehicle.Watch it but don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed.As I think on it a 5 might be a little high but I will stick witn it

"The Farmer Takes a Wife" is so disappointing that it could serve as an example of "the last gasp of the Hollywood musical." It's hard to believe that the marvelous "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" came out the following year. To start with, none of the songs are memorable, and the production numbers are so stylized and overstuffed with flounces, ruffles and ribbons that they are effectively deadened. Grable herself looks slightly overblown in this context and John Carroll who has a very pleasing voice and good presence, is not allowed to sing at all other than humming a few bars. Dale Robertson, who is not a singer and probably had his singing dubbed, is given one of the best songs to sing while taking a bath in a rain barrel...and is repeatedly shown apparently scrubbing at his crotch while performing the song! Viewers are well advised to skip this one, which is for extreme Grable and/or Carroll fans only. Even they will have a hard time tolerating it.