Touches You

For all the hype it got I was expecting a lot more!

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

After finding out his brother has killed his parents Shawn (Matthias) he sets out on a quest for revenge. After finding his parents dead, Shawn finds out that his brother (Jones) has become a vampire. Shawn is the only one that can kill him, and the hunt begins. This is a hard movie to review, only for the fact that I'm not sure what this movie was. If it was meant to be a serious film then it was terrible. If it was meant to be a type of satire and over-the-top on purpose then it was great. I'm gonna assume the later because I can't believe this was supposed to be serious (Michael Madsen plays a heavily cursing priest). It was funny and entertaining and not a bad way to spend an hour and a half. The dialog is campy and the acting is pretty bad, but if you look at it as a cheesy on purpose movie it's good. I give it a B.Would I watch again? - I may, again with friends and beer.

I was laughing at how disappointed i was with this film.. Poor acting.. Poor camera man.. Poot effects was just plain feces.. To be honest the only we rented (thank god it was a rental) it was because it had Vinnie Jones in it.. But i'm sorry to say even that was disappointing..THERE ARE BREASTS IN THIS FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES. . IM STRAIGHT AND FEMALE AND THAT WAS THE ONLY INTERESTING PART!!!Avoid this film at all costs!! The teeth gave the vampires a lisp! It looked like a really bad scooby doo episode to be honest i kind of wanted the gang to pop up at some point.All in all it gave me a few giggles but not because it was supposed to be funny. . Because it was that bad, i fell asleep during this at least twice.

A man's brother apparently dies in combat in the Middle East. And yet, this same brother is somehow connected to Cain, a vampire clan leader. And there is a legend of a slayer... and some muscle cars...A film so simple as this should not be so hard to describe, but it is. Someone wanted to write "Blade", but it was already written. They also wanted to write "Fast and the Furious", but that idea was taken. So, what did they do? They meshed them together in one film, threw in some other nonsense, and made a film. It took almost two years to get released, and I am not surprised.First of all, I cannot stress how much the main character (Michael Matthias) wants to be Vin Diesel. He looks like the Wal-Mart brand of Vin Diesel, Wal-Diesel or something. And how DMX is thrown in as a guy who knows way too much about vampires and somehow knows a slayer when he sees one... not sure why.Vinnie Jones plays Cain, and it is nice to see him with (presumably fake) hair. But this is not a great role for him and makes his acting look terrible. Michael Madsen is Father Roy, and while I always enjoy seeing Madsen, he does too many genre films with people who cannot bring out his best. Aside from Tarantino's films, what is the last great thing he did? Katherine von Drachenberg (aka Kat Von D) also appears.The plot holes, time line, and more just do not add up on this to a decent movie. The acting is weak, the directing is decent, though it is clear the emphasis was on the action and not the acting. The director's background is as a stunt man, and I can easily say the stunts here are just fine... the film is, however, a mess... and I do not know who to blame first.

Now, I never write reviews or complaint letters to anyone. I'm an observer. However, I can't possibly let this one go without comment.The short synopsis and cast list I read before watching ticked all the boxes for an enjoyable movie for me, so I sat down eagerly to watch it. How wrong could I have been? It is by far the very worst thing I have ever witnessed on screen as far as I can recall. It has not one single redeeming feature. Not even Vinnie Jones, or Michael Madson. They are hardly Hollywood's greatest actors, I know, but they do have some credibility and have been in some great movies - Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill, Snatch, Lock Stock..The concept is fairly sound, if not a little cheesy. The execution, however, is profoundly dismal. The 'story', as it is, is so badly written and portrayed that I actually laughed out loud at the inept stumbling from one scene to another. The acting is some of the very worst to reach the screen and would shame even my five year old god-daughter at her nativity, especially the Vin Diesel wannabe lead character. The direction seems almost absent, as though the film makers just left the actors to it! The script, if there actually was one, is so very, very poorly written and delivered that it may actually make more sense to watch with the sound on mute.I could go on, and feel the urge to do so. but I'll wrap it up. I spent good, hard-earned money on this movie and feel so very let down. I doubt most film makers could come up with anything as bad as this if they actually tried to make the worst movie ever. There must be some very embarrassed people who agreed to work on this film without knowing how it would finally turn out. Seriously, don't waste your time or money.