Sorry, this movie sucks

One of my all time favorites.

Blistering performances.

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

The concept of this movie is simple: a man named Marvin wants to become a full-time police officer and takes an emergency call that unintentionally leads him to his presumed demise that later turns out to have been prevented by a doctor that converts him into a bizarre experiment where he hosts various personality traits of different animals. So that means regardless what Marvin does in his daily lifestyle, it will both come with advantages and consequences based on his actions that comes from himself and the animals.That both could have been very humorous and functional only if the entire film was written, directed, and portrayed differently. This is another film distributed by Happy Madison that has failed again to bring the most memorable cast member of Saturday Night Live to a comedy presentation that had the chance to become an insanely original classic. Instead, it's a very disjointed and annoyingly patient 'comedy' that doesn't take more risks than time to make the audience feel illuminated by the ridiculous concept.Rob Schneider sadly will always be that one animal everyone tortures. This animal should have been put down for the sake of not salting his wounds.

I'm usually laughed at by my friends for liking Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider movies.This one, however, is bad. And it's not so bad that it's funny again. It's just bad.The jokes fall flat, the premise isn't funny, the plot sucks; it's just unwatchable.John McGinley is the only slightly funny thing about it, and Norm MacDonald's 45 on-screen seconds are funny. That's it.If you want a Rob Schneider movie worth watching, try Deuce Bigelow. This one will just leave you annoyed you wasted your time.

I had seen the poster and DVD cover for this film many times, and I obviously know that the film was rated badly by all the critics, and not just because of the leading actor, who is in many bad films, so I had to see what all the fuss was, from director Luke Greenfield (The Girl Next Door). Basically puny and uncoordinated Marvin Mange (Razzie nominated Rob Schneider) has dreamt all his life of being a police officer like his father, but while he can't achieve this and pass the obstacle course he is a trainee in the local small town police station, and Sergeant Sisk (John C. McGinley) continues to pick on him. One day alone at the station he receives an emergency call about a robbery, and with all the officers at a softball game he decides to answer the call and rush to the scene of the crime himself, but while driving he swerves to avoid hitting a seal on the road, and this causes him to roll down the many hills below until he crashes to the ground with a broken body. Critically injured Marvin was rescued out of the wreckage by mad scientist Dr. Wilder (Michael Caton) who puts his body back together with the help of numerous animals parts, and days later he wakes up with not much recollection of what happened, and he finds that he can run faster than a horse, he can scare off mean dogs, and he no longer requires his asthma medicine, he wrongly assumes this is all due to the advertised badger milk he bought. While at the park while walking her dogs, Marvin meets animal shelter owner Rianna (Colleen Haskell), and he is instantly attracted to her, and his newfound animal instincts are taking over, so he cannot help catching a Frisbee in his mouth thrown by a man, then after seeing his airport security guard friend Miles (Guy Torry) to talk about his problem he finds the uncanny ability to sniff out drugs from a man's rectum. Marvin, praised as a hero catching a drug smuggler, is happy to be promoted to being a full-fledged police officer, but his animal behaviour is becoming slowly more and more strong, he even starts waking up in strange places with no memory of what he was doing, and he has been hearing about some kind of beast attacks occurring, and he assumes it is him. Dr. Wilder approaches Marvin and explains everything about his experiment and how he believes the animal instincts have had problematic side effects and his subject will become uncontrollable, but Marvin shuns this and wants carry on with his newfound status. He does find it difficult to control himself as time passes by, including persuading Riana to go to dinner with him, and during the evening he has to excuse himself while he feels the urges like a horse to make love, but he settles himself and ends the evening with a simple kiss and a promise to see her again soon. Later he attends a party held by the Mayor (Scott Wilson), and this is where his behaviour becomes crazy when he chases a cat like a dog and destroys things his path, this causes him to get fired, but he saves himself after saving the Mayor's son who he heard fall into the near lake and almost drown, combining the abilities of a seal and a dolphin, and he is instantly reinstated. Chief Wilson (Edward Asner) questions Marvin about the night time attacks by the reported beast, and a witness sketch looks very much like him, so he hides himself in his garage with a big dam like a beaver bolting the door, and Rianna finds this when she comes to see him, and they spend the night together, he tied him up to stop any possible attack he may make, but she untied him while he was asleep. Soon enough the police show up and pull down the barricade to possibly arrest Marvin, he runs away and heads for the woods, and the officers and an angry mob are there to catch him, but Dr. Wilder reveals that he had another patient who underwent the same crazy experiment and is actually the beast, it is Rianna. When the mob are about to punish one of the two culprits in the middle of their circle, Miles claims that it was him, because he believes that if black people do anything wrong no-one bats an eyelid and forgets everything, because they don't want to be racist, and this is exactly the case, and the whole thing let go by the police and mob. In the end Marvin and Rianna are happy together when they get married and give birth to a few children with the same abilities that they share, on television Dr. Wilder is seen winning the Nobel Peace Prize and revealing his new fiancée as the female co-presenter of the badger milk adverts, and big scars are seen on her back suggesting that the doctor has experimented on her as well. Also starring Louis Lombardi as Fatty, Adam Sandler as Townie, Family Guy's Norm MacDonald as Mob Member, Pete as Dimples the Dog, Bliss as Nelly the Goat, Kanoozi as Mr. Giggles and Louey as Henry the Orangutan. I will admit that I did laugh at a few bits of this film and found a fair bit of it a guilty pleasure, but ultimately I knew that the performance by Schneider was silly, the story was ridiculous and full of stupid, gross and inappropriate material, including bestiality and mild racism, so all in all I couldn't escape the feeling that this film was a terrible comedy. Pretty poor!

What a disaster! Rob Schneider has long overstayed his welcome riding on the coat tails of Adam Sandler. He really should be confined to cameo parts in which he plays an assortment of characters who, in various, but unconvincing accents, screams out " You can do it!" at inconsequential points in the plot.In a sick melding of plot borrowings from the "6-milion dollar man", an assortment of werewolf movies and any loser-makes-good movie you can think of, "The Animal" tells the story of a committed do-gooder, who suffers a terrible accident, only to be resurrected with awesome powers and faced with a challenge which must either be overcome before the end of the movie's running time, or in the sequel, depending on how good the test audience ratings are.This film really should never have been made...if anything it's really more YouTube material. And if you are going to make vehicles for actors, then at least ensure that they are actors worth transporting. The cute chick who lost Survivor and Adam Sandler's buddy is a film student's home movie project we can all do without.Schneider has reprised this role a few times since (think "Deuce Bigalow" and "The Hot Chick") and so I have every reason to believe we haven't seen the last of this recurring character...and that's when a comedy becomes a tragedy.