Too many fans seem to be blown away

I'll tell you why so serious

An absolute waste of money

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

Released in 1966, "Tarzan and the Valley of Gold" stars Mike Henry as the ape man who travels to Mexico and tussles with international criminal Vinaro (David Opatoshu), who enjoys ridding his enemies in explosive ways. Vinaro kidnaps a boy, Ramel, whom he thinks will lead him to a lost city of gold. Nancy Kovack is on hand as the requisite babe while Don Megowan plays the intimidating Mr. Train.This movie has a lot of good elements. For starters, former NFL-player Mike Henry is arguably the best actor to play Tarzan ever, at least as far as looking/acting like Burroughs' character goes. Here Tarzan doesn't speak in monosyllables, like the Weissmuller films or early Gordon Scott ones. He's articulate, intelligent and noble.Released at the height of the mid-60's James Bond craze, this movie could've been called "The Man from A.F.R.I.C.A.," which is an actual line in the movie. It's akin to 007 in a loincloth with various friendly animals (a chimp, a lion and a jaguar). Speaking of which, it's amazing what you see Henry and the boy do with the latter two (the boy actually rides the lion!).Other positives include the last act's inclusion of the incredible Mesoamerican ruins of Teotihuacán in central Mexico, highlighted by the huge Pyramid of the Sun. Today, the sequence would've been done with cartoony CGI, but here it's all authentic locations and quite impressive.You might remember the stunning Kovack from the 1968 Star Trek episode "A Private Little War" where she played the flirtatious and orgasmic Nona. She also had a good role in 1963's "Jason and the Argonauts." Unfortunately, while she has some quality screen time, not enough is done with her.I've heard the argument that Tarzan belongs in mythical Africa not mythical central America, but Burroughs had Tarzan globetrotting a bit, particularly back-and-forth from Europe to Africa, but the story in one book -- "Tarzan and the Foreign Legion" -- takes place on the island of Sumatra and another -- "Tarzan and the Castaways" -- takes place on a Pacific island inhabited by the remnant of a lost Mayan civilization, which isn't far removed from what he experiences in "Tarzan and the Valley of Gold." One book (probably more) he's in the friggin' desert. Basically, as long as Tarzan's in action, fighting evil/corruption and hanging out with nature & animals it's Tarzan.All the above positives almost compel me to give "Tarzan and the Valley of Gold" a marginal thumbs up, but something holds it back. For one, there's a semi-goofy kiddie animal section in the second act, which seems incongruous with the serious air of the proceedings. I can live with this flaw, however. So what's the major problem? There's just something off with the script that prevents the movie from being compelling. The reason all the James Bond films of the 60s through mid-80s were hits is because the producers hired great writers who knew how to make a story flow and keep the movie entertaining. Not so here, but it's okay and worth catching if the positives trip your trigger.The film runs 90 minutes and was shot in Mexico.GRADE: C+

Tarzan and the Valley of Gold (1966) * (out of 4) Horrendously bad entry in the long-running series has former NFL lineman Mike Henry playing Tarzan. This time out Tarzan is called to Mexico where a young boy has come out of a jungle and apparently he's from a lost city where there's an endless amount of gold. The young boy is eventually kidnapped by the evil Augustus Vinero (David Opatoshu) so Tarzan must of course save the day. I'm sure there are some who are going to get a kick out of this entry in the series but every inch of this film just got under my skin. It's obvious that the producers were out of ideas in Africa so for this film and the past few they had him going around the globe doing various battles. It's also quite clear that the producer's of this film were familiar with the success of James Bond and that they wanted Tarzan to be another 007 but the end results are just embarrassing. You can see the Bond connection right during the opening credits as they're quite flashy and we get a "large" music score going with them. From this point we see Tarzan landing via helicopter in Mexico where he eventually gets into a major shoot-out and in one of the most jaw-dropping funny moments he kills a man with a large bottle of coke. From here we see our hero going around learning about the deadly wristwatches our villain sends to his enemies, the boy who came from the jungle and eventually he picks up some jungle animals do help him do battle. The entire thing with the Bond stuff is just so incredibly stupid that you can't help but get annoyed at it. I was hoping the film would at least get campy enough to where you could laugh at it but sadly this film never reaches the "so bad it's good" level. The story is just downright weak and we get way too much time where we see the villains doing their dumb things but most of it is just dialogue. Even worse is what they've done to Tarzan because he's pretty much unrecognizable. Henry doesn't make for a very good Tarzan. Yes, he has the body and can handle the action but he's just not believable as an ape man. The supporting cast isn't much better. I can understand the producer's trying to do something new and different but at the same time I think this here is just too much. It also doesn't help that it was probably best to realize that the series was simply running out of gas.

"Tarzan and the Valley of Gold" is one of the most bizarre and entertaining movies I have seen in quite a while. A number of questions come to mind, not the least of which was When exactly did Tarzan learn how to operate a tank in battle?The answer is rooted in the objective of the film, which was to update Tarzan to compete with James Bond. Since 007 is naturally familiar with all methods of transport and can successfully employ any firearm ever made, it should go without saying that Tarzan would be just as handy with whatever means are at his disposal. He could probably disarm a nuke and target missiles to blast each other in midair too if the plot depended on it.Some have questioned why Tarzan would travel to Mexico dressed in a suit, and I challenge that with basic knowledge of Edgar Rice Borroughs' novels where Tarzan at one point travels to America to find Jane and then settles down with her at the Greystoke Estate in England -- do people think he went all that distance in a loincloth?Mike Henry is great as Tarzan. In the first six minutes of the movie he shoots a guy in the face during a botched assassination attempt, then crushes another guy under a giant Coca-Cola bottle in what has to be the most clever product placement I've seen in a movie since James Bond back-flipped an opponent into a stack of empty Red Stripe Lager boxes.The film is exceedingly violent. I would put a rough estimate of the body count at about fifty, including the innocent peasants gunned down by the evil crime syndicate's henchmen. Tarzan himself wipes out about forty guys including three goons in a helicopter he takes out in a wonderful ripoff of "From Russia With Love"'s famous helicopter duel. Instead of just shooting the pilot Tarzan rigs a bolo using a couple of grenades and hooks it around the engine block. Those jungle skills pay off in the most unusual ways.Tarzan is of course dispatched to Mexico to get into a game of wits with an evil crime syndicate boss whose forces have kidnapped a young boy to give young boys in the audience someone to identify with -- this is a family adventure film, we remind ourselves, as Tarzan uses a Browning Automatic Rifle to machine gun down a bunch of thugs in a cave, blows up a truck full of men, and then asphyxiates the big evil goon character in the film's showdown by half-Nelsoning the guy to death. He is the perfect Vietnam War era action hero, so de-sensitized to carnage & suffering that all he can manage to come up with to console the young boy with is "Hey, what's all this now? " when the kid starts crying out of concern that his people will be massacred by the guys in the tanks. Some of them are but nobody really seems to care about it that much, and in the concluding wrapping it all up speech the tribal leader admits that sometimes you need to resort to violence after all.The Mike Henry Tarzan films are apparently a body of work that were so dangerous for the performers to make that Henry very understandably declined to work on the Ron Ely Tarzan television show of the same era after Dinky the Chimp bit Henry in the jaw on the set of the next adventure, requiring twenty stitches to sew up and giving Henry a case of "Chimp Fever" that took him out of the production for three weeks while he recovered. Just what Chimp Fever is I have no idea and even less interest to learn.The issue of unsafe work conditions is even further underscored by Ron Ely's string of injuries incurred while he worked on the TV show, and looking at the hands on approach to the stunt work evident in this movie it's a miracle that nobody was killed making these films. This is one of those movies that make you wonder just what the HELL people were thinking when they cooked it up: Out of control helicopters, live ammunition, explosions going off right next to the star performers, you name it.I will agree that Mike Henry does make a fabulous Tarzan, and to remind us of just who the hero was they even let him swing on a couple of vines, though I was disappointed that he never gave that famous Tarzan yell ... though then again since there are no elephants native to Mexico to stampede the effect would have been gratuitous.And yet there is something hypnotically watchable about the film, including a marvelous sequence where a jaguar sets off in search of the boy & Tarzan trots along behind with a wonderful little jazz music score twittering in the background. The makers of this movie were definitely onto something and it's too bad the franchise sort of petered out, leaving it up to the Italians to continue with their own unofficial series with names like Tarzak, Zambo, and Zan, which are no more silly, improbable, or entertaining than this movie. And had more women. There is only one in this whole film and while she is a comely little lass Tarzan seems about as fascinated by her as he is by that Coke bottle he pushes over on the assassin in the beginning of the movie. Is he so smitten by Jane that the thought of intimately interacting with another woman never enters his mind? As the credits roll they walk off into the sunset, and something tells me he never busted a move on her. In any event it's immensely entertaining and Tarzan saves the day with just a good rope, a hunting knife, and a soft piece of leather. Sounds kinky.7/10

Not much I can add to the review of "Tarzan & The Valley of Gold" that hasn't already been said (yup, it's a '60's "James Bond in a breach cloth" film) except for the fact that "Tarzan & The Valley of Gold" has TWO different endings, depending on which edited version you're seeing.Okay, "Spoiler Warning." That given, one version has the end credits rolling right after Mike Henry & Nancy Kovac wave goodbye to the Incas at Tucomare (& the inhabitants all come out to see him off.)However, another version DOESN'T end there. It ends with Tarzan (Mike Henry) flirting a bit with Nancy Kovac (who flirts back), while offering her another (exploding) wrist-watch! (The flirting was another James Bond touch. You'd never see Johnny Weismuller do that! Of course, Weismuller's Tarzan wasn't exactly articulate.) Henry then takes out the villain's exploding mercury from the briefcase & blows up the cav entrance to Tucomare, commenting to Kovac that "Perhaps if nobody finds them for a while, the world will have time to catch up with them."(Meaning, "catch up" with Tucomare's peaceful philosophy.)Hmmm. This Tarzan also knows how to handle chemicals (like mercury) & is a philosopher, too!Definitely NOT Johnny Weismuller!If you "dig" '60's "camp" like I do, then "Tarzan & The Valley of Gold"is definitely worth taping whenever it's shown on tv.