The Worst Film Ever

Absolutely Fantastic

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Spork succeeds in projecting the dream like way in which any of us who have actually gone through middle school and now have some life experience under our belt to reflect upon it. Do we remember the mundane hour by hour report of what actually took place or just the highlights with just a little bit of narrative embellishment? If Spork were an authentic, realistic, middle school tale, nobody would watch it. Thankfully it's not.It would be easy to say that this is the girl version of Napoleon Dynamite, but it's actually a more watchable film than Napoleon's offering.Savannah Stehlin stars as the frizzy haired middle school girl with a ding a ling named Spork. Spork lives in the tiniest of trailers with her dirty faced older brother and numbs the pain of her teased existence by repeatedly watching The Wiz. One day she stands up against the snotty girl gang that is picking on her and gains the attention of her more outgoing trailer park neighbor, and an equally teased undersized boy in her class.As the story plays out, you learn that some of these characters are missing key components to enjoying a well balanced life. This is handled in a manner that neither makes fun of the character nor talks down to the audience, and is reminiscent of John Hughs 1980′s teen dramedies. There are some singing and dancing numbers that could have easily come off as ridiculous and unbelievable, but again, it's presented in way that makes the viewer feel as if they are a part of the fun.Part of what makes the musical scenes work so well is the collaboration between director J.B Guhman Jr., film editor Philip J. Bartell, art director Nathan Carden, composer Timothy Kiefer, and co-composers Casey James and the Staypuff Kid. If just one of these individuals had not brought their A game, it could have been messy.If you only see one teenage hermaphrodite coming of age movie this year, make it Spork.

I have to admit I wasn't expecting much when I started to watch this film. The title and photo looked quirky however so it grabbed my interest and I decided to see what it was about.Needless to say I watched the whole thing through instead of stopping after 10 minutes. Something about the characters drew me in. I think it was the heart of the movie and its unconventional situations which kept me watching. Also, the message at the end was actually uplifting and inspiring instead of cheesy. I think this was credit due to the writers and their wise choice of words.One thing that struck me about this film is it shows an amazingly real friendship between two girls from black and white culture. Sometimes I feel that there is this divide between certain black and white cultures where people from the different cultures cannot really connect. But this bond between these two girls showed a strength beyond stereotypes where it was possible: Where people can look past their differences and see each other as human beings: caring about each other and sticking together despite their differences and social pressures.Some people complained about the "booty shaking," but I feel the film was simply being true-to-life. In fact, I'm amazed that a film could show such a kind light on both black and white stereotypical behavior at the same time. Normally "booty shaking" films don't have a dorky white likable protagonist, and vice versa.To those who were leery of the hermaphrodite theme: I wouldn't worry too much because it never gets too graphic or goes too far with it. It did however make me think about the fact that there are people out there who have to live with that condition.This film did remind me of some others at first, like Napoleon Dynamite. I was actually expecting something like Welcome to the Dollhouse when I first started watching it. But to me this film had more heart than those other movies. It was about strength, perseverance, and staying a kind person despite bullying and having a difficult life. There was a subtle maturity about this film, and it was uplifting.

I find these glowing and frankly quite obvious shill reviews for this absolute disaster of a film to be somewhat annoying and also telling; it's 2012 and clearly this movie sank like a stone (deservedly) with only the most bored of cineastes bothering to give it a try at three in the morning on streaming Netflix.Spork is a terrible, stupid movie which supposes that its audience has forgotten about or never seen Napoleon Dynamite. I'm not a huge fan of Dynamite, but there is at least a sweetness inherent in the absurd material that makes you smile and definitely produces a few genuine laughs from time to time. Spork is lacking in even that, and is populated with unpleasant, slutty kids acting like...unpleasant, slutty kids? Who dance like sluts at the dance-off? And then it ends? No humor to speak of, and definitely not worth your time, even if you do happen to be bored to tears.Avoid at all costs. Absolute crap.

I was fortunate enough to catch the final midnight screening of this at the Tribeca festival 2010. I went in with a very much half-soaked approach. The idea of a sexual discovery narrative driven by a 12 year old wasn't entirely appealing to me. But, having said that, my view was instantly and irreversibly changed.Within the first ten minutes of the film, you will find yourself gripped by a cast matured far beyond their years, and intimate and precise direction that is often lacking in even the most impressive titles.I wont go into the story, or why i enjoyed this film quite so much, but suffice to say, the writing is spot on. Rather than talking down to the young cast, the script really exalts them, and you feel on an emotional par with every member of the cast.I watched a lot of films from indie festivals this year, and i can only hope that Spork gains the critical acclaim, and distribution deal that it deserves. I cant wait to see it on British shores!