What makes it different from others?

Purely Joyful Movie!

Plot so thin, it passes unnoticed.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

This is one of those movies where there is a minimum of one fight or chase scene every ten minutes, and if not for that there's no reason for the movie to exist. Rodman plays Simon, the man whose sezing is responsible for our title. Rodman is a secret agent for INTERPOL who has no less than TWO comedic sidekicks constantly dressed as monks in their monastery base in France. Simon is a motorcycle riding, kickboxing super agent capable of sliding down columns with his legs so that he can shoot guns with his hands. INTERPOL is apparently one of the easiest to work for secret agencies, because Rodman apparently has no mission or assignment to work on until an old schoolmate played by stand-up comedian Dane Cook, because apparently this film needs a THIRD comedic sidekick. Dane Cook is on a mission to exchange confidential military secrets for his boss's kidnapped daughter, and he brings Rodman along for the ride. The exchange goes bad and Rodman takes charge as any good action-hero does, and together Rodman and the trio of comic relievers try to track down the kidnapped girl and the most ridiculous villain since the Number 23 played itself in the Number 23.Dane Cook manages to work in his impersonations of dogs, dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, and Chewbacca into the first twenty minutes. Remarkably none of the "bits" that may very well have worked on stage fit into the movie and, furthermore, since they all sound virtually identical, really come off as lame. The only difference between Cook's dinosaur and Chewbacca is that dinosaurs have tiny arms. Apparently someone thought animal noises and kickboxing equaled box-office gold; of course, if that were true, Jean-Claude Van Damme's puppet show in Branson would be a bigger draw than it is now. Although to his credit Cook gives up on his impressions, one of Rodman's sidekicks (John Pinette) does a similar whale impression, which at least is tenuously related to the film because he is fat. Hilarious, no? About 1 out of 10 of Dane Cook's lines are amusing, but since 10 out of 10 are supposed to be funny, that's not a very good batting average. During a car chase where Rodman and Cook are being chased by the bad guys, and Rodman TWICE drives for an extended distance while tilted on two tires, Cook quips, "These guys are like my college loan officers, they just keep coming!" There is nothing better in a cheesy action movie than a scenery-chewing villain. This is the one role where it not only acceptable to overact, it is in fact mandatory by Hollywood law. When done right, the actor who hams it up as the villain can steal a movie, as proved by the likes of Robert Patrick in the horrible WWE Films "The Marine" or Christopher Walken in "The Rundown." Our villain "Ashton" is doing an effeminate, impish supervillain that's so bad he'd be more suitable to battle Pee Wee Herman than James Bond. This is the kind of villain who while menacing a colonel he's extorting says, "Colonel, do us all a favor and turn that frown upside down." My favorite is this exchange between Rodman and Ashton:Ashton: "Guess what we're going to blow up first!" Rodman: "Your ego?" Ashton: "No, but nice try, sailor! The Eiffel Tower!" Rodman: "Why?" Ashton: "Because it's big and it's delicious and I'm tired of looking at it!"Like any other action star, Rodman gets to dive from a building before it explodes, then walk in slow motion away from the same building as it burns. Just like a real action hero! And as he emerges, his cohorts actually say, "That's our Simon!" Which, if you think about it, is really dialogue more suited for a wacky, 50s sitcom rather than a cheesy, 90s action flick, but that's just my (correct) opinion.While I've never seen more than short clips of Cook's comedy act and none of his recent starring vehicles, I think he at least adds a certain charm to the film. Rodman doesn't fare so well, though the ridiculous script certainly is of no help. "It ain't over," Rodman growls with what is meant to be intensity. The man really doesn't possess any kind of charisma as far as I can detect. Beyond being a very good basketball player, the only reason that Rodman is famous is due to his outrageous publicity stunts like wearing a wedding dress to a book signing or wrestling in a tag team with Hulk Hogan and thereby degrading brides, books, and professional wrestling (which is hard to do).Unless you love bad action movies as much as I do, you should stay away from this at all costs. But I do love bad action movies as much as I do, and this is so bad it's actually entertaining.DJR - For more of my reviews check out film.ispwn.com

Simon Sez is one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. Its another one of those monstrosities that you have to force yourself to watch only so you can brag to your friends about how you were able to "watch the whole thing", and to see their shocked expressions after you say that. Other than that, there is no reason to force yourself through the consistent ineptness of this poor excuse for an action adventure.First off... It stars Dennis Rodman. That alone should be enough to turn most people away, but because I'm Mr. "Open To All Movies", I put in the video and watched it anyway.Since my brain has an automated trash filter and defragger (I still run on NTFS), I only remember small pieces of the film. One scene that stood out, and shouted to me like an old woman with a bad hip, was the scene where master martial artist Xin Xin Xiong and some woman (I forgot her name) were engaging in a tightly choreographed fight. But because Rodman was the "star" and didn't want to be upstaged up by his "co-stars", a way had to be found to bring him into this action. But Rodman can't fight. So their solution was to just have Rodman stomp into the scene like Frankenstein and claw, pounce, and push his way through the fight. And this didn't just happen once. It happened many times...Before I start cursing I'll just end my review here.Don't see this movie. Spare yourself the pain.

Get this: Dennis Rodman is an Interpol agent (ha!) living in the cellar of a French monestary with two monk buddies (one fat, one black) who try to battle an evil diabolical villain who plans to use some kind of computer chip thingy to arm a weapon so he can blow up the world (or whatever it is mad movie villains like to do).This movie is SO LAME! I remember I was vacationing in Nags Head, North Carolina when Cinemax started airing ads for the film and presenting it as some kind of "great film." I thought it looked like total garbage but I watched it anyway, just to laugh at Dennis Rodman.Good god, it's bad. Is it EVER bad! It's got that distinct crazy directorial style all bad movies of today have - you know, everything's all crazy and over-the-top, ranging from coloring of sets and characters to plots to dialogue to action sequences.Some of this seems fairly reminiscent of that similarly awful Rodman movie named "Double Team," which co-starred Jean-Claude Van Damme (ha!) and Mickey Rourke (poor Mickey). But any movie with Rourke is at least tolerable...this is not tolerable in the least.Rodman gets my vote for being one of the worst actors of all time and this movie certainly fits his talents.

Words cannot describe the feeling i had after watching it....total waste. This movie is totally crap. For all film students, this is an example how not to make a movie. Give me a one dollar budget and i make a better movie. This is my first post on IMDb and i read that u must have a comment longer than 10 lines. Sorry but for this movie i cannot think of more than 10 lines to fill it with. But for all of your protection. Do not see this movie. Never. Period. But if u do don't take it too seriously. I hope that when the producers shot this movie, they didn't have the intention too make a serious, good movie. Maybe they meant to shoot it as one big joke. If thats the case.... Job well done!