Touches You

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

This movie was sooooooo crappy. The only thing that was interesting in it was that they combined a "submarine war movie (there aren't that many of those) with a "creature feature movie" ..... but it was hardly a successful endeavour.Yes it's true, the CGI rendering of the giant snakes was a total joke! Oh and I must comment on Krista Allen (the only woman in the film): Her acting is TERRIBLE! Seriously, its as if she was on Botox the whole movie because the expression on her face hardly changed and therefore she seemed like she had no reaction to the current situation! Don't get me wrong, she is gorgeous, but she would be much better suited to be a model or a porn actress where she won't need any acting skills.Bottom line, go watch one of the "Anaconda" movies if you want a creature feature with big bad CGI snakes ........ they are a lot more entertaining than this piece of bunk.

Intentional camp, and fun enough for a good laugh. Snakes have gotten tired of planes, trains, and automobiles, so now they set sail under the sea. It's up periscope, finance a film budget of $49, and bon voyage."Captain, we have snakes on board." Oh really? Perhaps that means the rubber toys that vaguely resemble snakes. Also, some hilariously cheap CGI serpents that move more like video game cartoon characters than a snake. Shots of them slithering around aimlessly on the floor with no actors anywhere around pop up once in a while; this may be inserted stock footage of real ones in a glass case. The actors trying to look scared of these blue screen and/or rubber beasties is priceless. One scene has a guy gingerly lifting a the rubber toys off of an imperiled person, then hurls it wildly lol.It's all a government conspiracy; astonishing. Some evil guy sends a scientist on board to covertly transport genetically engineered snakes for military use (neglecting to inform the crew of the hissing cargo, of course). Maybe it's the DNA mutation that makes them look so fake, and lazily hang out doing nothing like they've been drugged. Anyway, things progress exactly as expected, in the ludicrous fashion that's expected.Turn off the brain before watching.

Snakes on a plane; snakes on a train...snakes on a submarine. Familiar peril; familiar story line. Luke Perry plays Lt. Commander James O'Neill, a disgraced leader, is given a final assignment. Something as easy as bringing back a retired sub to its final station. In route, Admiral Wallace(Tom Berenger)diverts the submarine to rescue an Army research team from a remote island. Coming on board is classified research...snakes. This silent cargo is accidentally released, but is not the only problem for O'Neill's crew...an enemy fleet is in the way of the unarmed sub and safety.Not exactly bad; but not necessarily good either. Perry fans will enjoy. And for submarine movie fans, don't feel bad about being suckered in. Just enough suspense to keep you entertained. Others in the cast: Krista Allen, Louis Mandylor, Robert Catrini and Anthony Tyler Quinn.

Okay, so maybe the plot was silly, but watching it at 2:00 AM on a real fuzzy screen made it believable. I watched this for Luke Perry, I enjoy his acting and here was no different. Krista Allen is a cute and fun and... well, okay I'll come out and say it, I enjoyed this movie. I guess since I only watch a movie every month or so, I don't experience much. Only thing I would have liked to see was when Luke Perry's character was about to board the plane it would have been funny if they told him the in-flight movie was Snakes on a Plane. Regardless, fun movie, don't take it too seriously and you may just find yourself caught up in it.