Good idea lost in the noise

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

SCORPIO ONE is another boring outer space-set movie from the late 1990s, when B-movie producers seemed obsessed with putting stuff into outer space whether it belongs there or not. This time around, we get martial arts hero Jeff Speakman who travels into space with part of a team to tackle some terrorists on a space station and help save the planet in the meantime.The plot is as preposterous as it sounds, but unfortunately the scriptwriters decided to go for a slow-moving, talky script throughout and it's fair to say that not much happens here. Speakman gets a fight scene or two but for the most part this is a boring film that consists of boring actors reading boring dialogue. Suspense and drama flatline throughout, and a cameo from Robert Carradine is barely noticeable. The villain is played by NINE DEATHS OF THE NINJA's Brent Huff.

"At the edge of space, patriotism and terrorism are about to cross the line!" Ugh. Another space slog. Have you ever noticed most movies set on a space station are kind of boring? Well, even though it was written by Steve Latshaw of Counter Measures (1999) fame, and directed by Worth Keeter of Unmasking the Idol fame, this one succumbs to the same fate: boredom.The plot involves a U.N. Space Station (they do nothing on earth but now they do nothing in space!) and a computer disk with the secret to cold fusion. People are dying on the spacecraft "Scorpio One" so CIA agent Stone (The Speakster) goes into space to investigate. He must battle the evil Till (Huff) and save the world. Meanwhile, on earth, the corrupt senator Treadwell (Lance Legault) is up to his old Gary Condit-like tricks, and CIA director Wilfrid (George Murdock) is an old salt with a bow-tie who is on to him. Will Wilfrid save the day? Will Stone save space...and earth? Who really cares? You might not know it from watching the movie, but Robert Carradine is here too! He's criminally underused. The filmmakers could have gotten any novice actor to play the role of Carter. But his character is not fleshed out at all. It's really a shame to treat Carradine that way.Like with Emmanuelle, Leprechaun, Pinhead and Jason, when a franchise starts to run out of steam, they launch them into space. Well, here we have Jeff Speakman in space. While Jeffrey does do some of his trademark moves (here you could call it "space Kenpo"), it's not enough to satisfy the action fan. There is a short scene where he is in Iraq taking on the baddies, but it should have been bigger and a bit longer. Like with Dudikoff and Midnight Ride (1990), viewers want to see their hero beat up the bad guys with aplomb. Here it's a bunch of people wandering around a space station with a lot of talking.See, there's the problem. In place of the characters relating on a human level, they mainly spout scientific space-mumbo jumbo. It's set in the present day, not the future, but the U.N. has a space station and people have laser guns (that are very Q-Zar-esquire).The special effects are pretty funny and there are some very obvious models to represent space stations and rocket ships. It's very 50's in that way. The sets look like they have been used on many Fred Olen Ray/Jim Wynorski productions of this type, and it's quite possible with Latshaw involved. For all the movie's flaws, it's still superior to Falling Fire (1997).The lovable Wilfrid makes the movie much, much better and his presence improves the film immensely. The movie needed more Wilfrid! He should get his own spin-off film.Perhaps Speakman wanted to get out the beat-em-up roles he's known for. He should stay there.For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

While not THE WORST movie I've ever seen, it was unquestionably of low quality. Were it not for the fact I was watching it when I had insomnia, I certainly would have fallen asleep during this movie.While I won't spend much time on this (why bother?) I have the following observations to offer:It's not clear what this movie was trying to be, Walker Texas Ranger in Space or any number of B-storyline rip-offs. I found NOTHING original, however, which is quite a feat in itself. Very amusing were a number of the SAME sound effects used in the PC game "Doom"! Not just similar; they must have come from the same source! I can only wonder if the game and the movie purchased the sounds from the same FX company or if the movie bought the rights from ID, the makers of DOOM. Quite amusing. Perhaps the ONE enjoyable facet of the game (aside from seeing Robin Douglas)

This is, by far, and without a doubt, the absolute worst movie I have ever seen. Utterly devoid of any plot, acting talent or, dare I say, a script. It is horrible to a degree unknown in modern filmaking. For the love of humanity, if you value all that is good and right with the world, please do not see this, not even at 3am for free.