Just so...so bad

An Exercise In Nonsense

Your blood may run cold, but you now find yourself pinioned to the story.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

A word of warning to prospective viewers of this movie expecting to see our hero battling tentacled monsters from the ocean floor - the re-titling of the film as SAMSON AND THE SEA BEASTS is a misnomer. The actual "sea beasts" themselves are the evil pirates, not monsters, and the only creature you'll see our hero battling here is a mangy crocodile. Aside from this grievance, SAMSON AND THE SEA BEASTS is an enjoyable slice of peplum mixed successfully with some high-sea adventure. It may not be the most exciting or enthralling of the genre but it passes the time nicely enough if you're in the right mood.Kirk Morris is the muscular hero this time around. He's in fine heroic mode and does many manly things during the film's course. Some of his tougher trials include a contest where he must use his strength to stop a boat in which men are rowing in the opposite direction; if he fails, a row of spears will impale him. He also gets to fight a rubber old crocodile and makes quite a convincing effort of it. As usual with these films, there's a lot of action and scenes where Samson must fight off a dozen guards at once, which are of course a lot of fun.The inclusion of pirates into the film makes for an interesting change from the usual soldiers and rulers. The chief pirate is nicely villainous and has a bald-headed assistant and a torture chamber into which he throws anybody he doesn't like. The female lead is sufficiently glamorous and the film takes in a lot of locations and events, from slave markets to battles on the ocean. Samson also gets to wear the snazzy combination of a leather waistcoat and thigh-high leather boots before reverting back to his trusty loincloth for the finale, in which he literally pulls down the pirate's palace via a pillar and a handy chain. SAMSON AND THE SEA BEASTS is a typical peplum adventure like a hundred others, and yet delivers the goods in terms of action and plot twists. It makes for an enjoyable, if not particularly memorable, watch.

Set in the Caribbean in 1630, this has many of the earmarks of a pirate movie and yet little of it takes place at sea. Most of the action -- predictable but passably entertaining -- occurs on a place called Devil's Island which the pirates use as their headquarters. There are the usual swordfights and fistfights, there's a damsel in distress as well as a sadistic villain, but the movie's chief claim to fame is one of those "trials-of-strength" so popular in the "beefcake" school of film-making. In this trial Kirk Morris, stripped to a white peplum and standing on shore, must pull forward on two ropes attached to a rowboat filled with about a dozen men rowing in the opposite direction. Should the rowers out-pull him, Morris will be impaled on a row of projecting spears. It's a variation of the stretched-between-two-teams-of-horses ordeals which Morris underwent in "Triumph of the Son of Hercules" and "Atlas Against the Czar." It's probably the least of these scenes since it has a contrived, gimmicky quality, but there's something unique about it. For the record, the opening credits for the print under review present the title as "Samson and the Sea Beasts." (Note the plural.)