What a waste of my time!!!

This Movie Can Only Be Described With One Word.

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

I personally enjoy watching bad scary movies and roasting them in real time. If you also enjoy doing this, then Rites of Spring is the movie you've been waiting for. The plot is just barely passable as an actual coherent story, with "twists" you'll see coming a mile away. I found myself completely not caring about the characters at all. In fact, this movie features quite possibly the most annoying female "protagonist" (who just barely qualifies as such purely by process of elimination) I've ever seen. The acting is bad. BAD. But, like I said, bad horror films are kind of my bag. So I had fun watching it. The only reason it got two stars instead of one was because of this. And because the gore was actually pretty decent quality.

Current IMDb-score on this is 4.6. Now, this is maybe not the greatest movie ever, but it is not that bad.I saw this at Frightfest Glasgow some years ago, and I thought it wasn't too shabby. Now, my score might be a little high because I saw it at a film festival, and that leaves a different impression than seeing it at home. (Maybe I'll yank it down a star, later some time)Rites of Spring is like two movies in one. Kind of. I knew very little of it beforehand, which is a good thing, and it kept me guessing for a while.I seem to remember the gore being pretty decent, not that it was that much of it, but it was good. Didn't scare me, but kept me entertained.

Opening inter-titles: high school senior young women go missing, year after year, since 1984. The film has already jumped the shark. That sort of thing would have been stopped in well under 30 years.Alyssa and Rachel leave a bar late at night. Rachel is conflicted about having made a mistake at work. Alyssa tells her to let someone else take the fall for it. Their car starts, eventually, but they immediately get a flat. Then they get abducted, taken to a barn, and strung up by their wrists by The Stranger. The Stranger does whatever the monster in the cellar needs.In a parallel thread, Ben and Paul kidnap Kelly, the daughter of Ryan, the principal employer in the area, and Jessica, Kelly's nanny. They demand 2 million USD in 2 hours. The kidnapping rolls forward on schedule, more or less. Tommy picks up the money, but he also picks up Kelly's father Ryan.Rachel gets free, then tries to help Alyssa, who is already dead by decapitation. Rachel escapes and runs; she goes to the place where the kidnappers are. The two plot threads come together.Ryan has Jessica freed, but Jessica is in league with Paul. Jessica shoots Ryan, and Paul informs the rest of them that he and Jessica are taking the 2 million. Then he kills Tommy. Ben and Amy are left defenseless against these two.Meanwhile, Rachel and the monstrous killer are racing toward the kidnappers. No one listens to her, of course. The monster decapitates Jessica. In the middle of all this, young Kelly breaks free and escapes.Ben has an opportunity to end all this by killing Paul, but of course he does not have the courage. Paul takes Rachel hostage and leaves. Rachel keeps insisting they have to clear out. The monster kills Paul, and takes another head.Ben, Amy, Rachel, and the monster are left. Ben and Amy go looking for a telephone, only to find the house of The Stranger. Amy's probably out of luck, but when The Stranger starts to carve up Ben, Rachel hammers The Stranger. The find Amy strung up on a cross, but the monster kills her. Ben throws Rachel his keys, then the monster does in Ben. Amy finds the car, travels down the road a bit, seems to find some help, but the one who could have aided her turns out the lights.-----Scores-----Cinematography: 0/10 Camera shake. Way out of focus intervals. I liked the 2.35 aspect ratio, which sometimes means that excellent cinematography is on the way. Not here, not at all. More camera shake. Amateurish framing mistakes, inside-outside light level mistakes, ridiculous fades to totally out of focus blurs on the entire screen.Sound: 7/10 Best part of the film.Acting: 4/10 OK, given the script.Screenplay: 0/10 Corn plants that are 7 or 8 feet tall, with full ears, on March 21? Perhaps not. New abductions every year for close to thirty years with no solution? I don't think so. The monster had minutes of opportunity to do in Rachel. He usually killed his victims in one strike. What was the weird nest in the cellar? Not answered. Was this a crime movie? Not a very good one. Was it a horror movie? Not a convincing one or a scary one.

*SPOILERS FOLLOW!* *THIS MOVIE SUCKS!* *THAT'S THE SPOILER!* A lot of the reviews I've read here have made a big deal about the fact that this movie is about two seemingly utterly different plot lines that converge and WACKINESS ENSUES!...or I guess it's supposed to be terror ensuing. Not sure. Not sure the filmmakers knew either. I don't know where these reviewers are coming from, but seriously...two seemingly disparaging plot lines coming together in unexpected ways is old hat in the real world that I live in and it's nothing worth popping a monocle out over.Real talk. If you don't immediately see the connection between the two WILDLY DIFFERENT plots five minutes into this movie...you are officially not the brightest crayon in the box. Honestly, you don't even make burnt umber. Sorry.This is a dumb movie that doesn't know where it wants to go. The few bright points it has, that being the occasional brilliant and believable performance of AJ Bowen, are either killed off with no explanation or killed off in a very tired manner. Also with no explanation. And that's honestly its worst sin. There's no given reason for anything. No given reason why the monster exists,no given reason why one man is trying to stop it from awakening, no given reason why stopping it from awakening requires him to do the disgusting things we see him do. This movie could be tag-lined "Crying and Moaning 'Why Are You Doing This??'" and no answer will apparently ever be given. Horror fans aren't idiots and honestly, when you prove that you can do better, we deserve to actually see it. I give it eight gorilla anuses out of ten. And I'm being generous.