Load of rubbish!!

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

Though there is no such thing as karma in real life, there is plenty of it in the movies. In a typical movie, the good are rewarded and the evil punished, each to the extent that they deserve. In some cases, however, movie karma goes a little overboard, and people are punished way in excess of what little faults they may have, and that is what we have in this film.When the movie starts, a couple is having dinner, with the husband, Sam Sherman, saying grace. He makes a semi-blasphemous remark about how God let their baby die. Uh oh. Sure enough, he must be punished, and instrument of death is his own wife, Sally. She goes all zombie on him and kills him with a fork. Zombies don't usually use weapons, however, so this is our first clue that this is not your typical zombie flick.Actually, just before the baby died, Sam and Sally were having an argument. He criticized her for not changing the diaper on the stinking baby, and she said it was his turn to do his part and change the diaper himself. So, maybe that's it. Sam is being punished for sexism, imagining that diaper changing is woman's work.But there's more. Sam had left his pistol on the table where the baby could get to it. As a result, while Sam and Sally are arguing, the baby puts the barrel in his mouth and pulls the trigger. And thus we have to wonder if Sam was punished for being negligent in leaving a handgun around where a baby could get to it.It turns out that the baby was adopted, and the baby's birth mother, Laura Childs, is being besieged by zombies, whom she manages to fight off or, in some cases, kill with the help of her boyfriend Jack or the sheriff. Her roommate gets killed, probably punishment for making a move on Jack. A sheriff's deputy is killed as punishment for being a jerk. And so on. When her own mother turns on her and is put in an insane asylum, she notices Sally Sherman, whom she knows to be the adoptive mother of her baby, is also a patient. Laura slips into her room, and Sally tells her that the baby's ghost is inhabiting people as a way of inflicting punishment on those who wronged him, and Laura is big on his list of those on whom he wants to inflict vengeance.You'd think Laura would get credit for having the baby and giving it up for adoption instead of aborting it the way her previous boyfriend wanted all along. Well, said previous boyfriend does get punished for that, right after the ghost baby inhabits the body of the woman he was bitch-banging and lets him have some axe in the face. But Laura still did her baby wrong by not keeping him, so he is still after her as his main target.Somewhere along the way, we find out that a fanatical Christian couple were the baby's first adoptive parents, and when Child Protective Services took the baby away, this first adoptive mother cursed it. Actually, the movie is thick with Christianity, and we regularly see crucifixes hanging on the walls of the rooms of different characters in the film. And thus it is that while ghost baby is going around wreaking death on those who wronged him, we sort of get the feeling that some of these people are being punished for excess of religion.Anyway, Laura's mother escapes from the insane asylum, and, finding Laura at home, tells her that the ghost baby just wants his mother. But then ghost baby inhabits Laura's mother again, and Laura has to handcuff her to the oven. Then Jack comes over, and he gets possessed by the ghost baby too.But now Laura knows what ghost baby really wants. She tells him to come to Mommy, lays him on the floor and has sex with him. So, spiritually speaking, she has sex with her own son, through the body of her boyfriend, resulting in impregnation. Talk about returning to the womb. Anyway, it does the job. Ghost baby is satisfied and he waits inside his mother to be reborn.It looks as though everything has ended happily, but I have to wonder what movie karma thinks about incest.

Firstly, this is NOT a zombie movie. It's not a movie about zombies. There are no zombies in this movie. I rented this thing because of a DVD cover that made me think it was a zombie flick. I was terribly deceived.Secondly, remember the most awful zombie film you've ever seen. Rise of the Dead is even worse than that. I know that's an amazing thing to claim because the living dead genre has probably got the worst quality-to-crap ratio in all of cinema. The truly great zombie movies can be counted on the fingers of one hand and you can number the good ones before running out of toes. That leaves a legion or two of zombie films that range from mediocre to "I can't believe I'm watching this garbage". Rise of the Dead outstinks them all.Thirdly, pretend that Rob Zombie had a brother who was an even less talented filmmaker. I know it's difficult to conceive of anyone THAT inept and horrid, especially if you've seen House of 1000 Corpses or Zombie's version of Halloween II, but bear with me. Now imagine Zombie's colossally clueless bro making a movie about teen pregnancy where the moral of the story isn't preaching abstinence or sexual responsibility, it's that babies are literally life-destroying monsters and the women who love them are crazy bitches. Essentially, Rise of the Dead is the world's worst Afterschool Special on the virtues and advantages of abortion.The story, and I use the word "story" loosely, concerns a young woman named Laura (Erin Welk). Everywhere Laura goes, people start drooling and trying to kill her. Well, this one guy who chases her down the street appears to be auditioning for the new season of "So You Think You Can Dance?", but he may have been trying to Electric Boogaloo her to death.After hearing a lot of bad dialog from a lot of bad actors on a lot of bad sets, we find out that the people trying to kill Laura are all connected to the baby boy she gave up for adoption as a teenager and that the only way for Laura to save herself is to indulge in some spiritual incest. I'm not going to explain what any of that means in any further detail because I already lost enough brain cells watching Rise of the Dead the first time. If I dwell on it any longer I'm afraid I'll lose the ability to clothe and feed myself.This is yet another film made by people with no talent and very little money only because modern technology allows people with no talent and very little money to make movies. Rise of the Dead does have a couple of reasonably cute chicks who get naked and its atrociousness does reach the level of unintentional comedy a few times in its short, 72 minute run time. Those minuscule positives don't change the fact that this thing should never have been made and should never, ever, ever be watched.

Yeah, technology and the degradation of the arts have allowed films like this to be made. This reminds me of Guitar Hero in a very round-a-bout way. You see, when I worked at a musical instrument retailer, I'd get kids coming in that played Guitar Hero and instantly thought that would translate into actually playing guitar. They were so convinced that they would be awesome that they'd get their parents to spend thousands of dollars on equipment just so one day the world would be assaulted by talentless crap. Yeah, this movie reminds me of that. I think the directors and writers played a game called Cinema Hero and got a really high score once so they thought, "Man! We'd be awesome at making an actual movie!". Well, they were so very wrong. First of all, this could possibly have the most ridiculous plot in the history of plots. It's not inventive or fresh, yet it's not just a rehash of some other horror film. You see, no other filmmakers would actually agree to make a film if this were pitched to them. The continuity was just thrown out the window. The writers cared so little about what was going on that they actually forgot how many murders had happened in the movie in one scene. People magically change positions, hats magically appear and disappear. Yikes. The acting...well, I guess I shouldn't really call it acting. It's more like...well, I really don't know, but I hope I never have to see anything reminiscent of that again. The cinematography is choppy and even appears that the camera was cocked in some scenes. It's a bit disorienting and terribly unprofessional. The physical "stunts" are mainly done away from camera and literally look like they were done intentionally bad for laugh factor. Bottom line, the crew of the film obviously wrote reviews for their own crap here on IMDb. Yeah, it's cheap as hell and totally unprofessional...precisely like their "film". Really, no matter how much you like movies, just because you have one bad idea and a few grand, it doesn't mean you should make a film. Lesson learned.

Titles can be so misleading, but I for one, was glad that "Rise Of The Dead" was not just another low budget zombie flick, but instead a well thought out horror experience from Ohio.Director William Wedig piles on the dread factor that the writing team of Jeff and Josh Crook have layed out for him in this seemingly no budget film about possession and things that go "Thud" in the night... Most films with the words "Of the Dead" in the title means: "Zombie" but Wedig has something else in store for his unknowing audience. This is a well crafted, though provoking, blood bath of a film with solid acting and cinematography through out. Stand out performances by Erin Wilk and a rather comedic turn by producer / actor Chris Ferry make "Rise Of The Dead" a worth while viewing pleasure for fans of the genre. The story itself, paints a vivid picture of how bad things happen to bad people, but does it with a flair not normally explored in this type of film. The gore is honorable, and of course the nudity is always present to reel in even the most frigid viewer. "Rise Of The Dead" is a sign of good things to come from Ohio, and the future of horror in general.