Undescribable Perfection

Tells a fascinating and unsettling true story, and does so well, without pretending to have all the answers.

The story-telling is good with flashbacks.The film is both funny and heartbreaking. You smile in a scene and get a soulcrushing revelation in the next.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Roger Vadium, the man who wrote the screen play Barbarella, Queen of The Galaxy which made campy soft porn a shameful delight directs this one for MGM with a bigger budget than the Jane Fonda affair. The surprise is the script from Francis Pollini's novel has a screen play here written by Gene Roddenberry who is much better known for Star Trek than for this film. Vadium is a more of a sort of cult figure in the US and did a few films in his native France. Still he is the right choice to direct this soft porn movie.Rock Hudson plays Tiger, a high school Football Coach and Guidance Counselor who is really a modern Casanova. Pretty young maids are always winding up naked in his office for after school activities after football practice. John David Carson( who much later has a role in Julia Roberts Pretty Woman),plays Ponce, a young man who sees all these attractive women around him in high school and is having trouble controlling himself. As a football assistant, Ponce gets befriended by Tiger who finds out about this problem.Ponce's biggest problem begins in class when a substitute teacher, Miss Smith (Angie Dickinson), shows up one day and drives his youthful urges crazy. He tells Tiger about this and Tiger has a few meetings with Miss Smith and sets her up to be Ponce's first conquest. While all this is going on, there is a problem with young girls showing up dead at the school. Ponce finds the first one with a note attached to her butt in the boys room at school, dead. Surcher (Telly Savalas aka. Kojak) shows up at school to investigate the murder. He suspects something is going on with Tiger, but can not prove anything (this is in the days before modern DNA evidence). Tiger's motive to kill the pretty young maids is that after seducing them is that they all threaten to tell his beautiful wife they want her man. Roddy McDowall is Proffer, a principal who expresses sadness about the first murder because she was a "good little cheerleader."The real subplot here is soft porn. Sometimes referred to as T&A, this film is more about the "A" as Vadium manages to get plenty of them in the film from the very first scene. There is some topless stuff too but the most shots are below the waist with all the women clad in miniskirt's. This does tie with the original Star Trek as a lot of mini-skirts dominated that series, though 1971 is more than 3 years after that mission ended.There are some ironic scenes in this with Coach Tiger (Hudson) looking very much at home in the teams locker room with sweaty young men. Vadium almost certainly as a Hollywood Insider, knew by then about Hudson as even the times with Tiger and Ponce together almost reflect another relationship though not according to this script.Spoiler- when the movie ends, with the death of Tiger, there appears to Surcher whose vain pursuit of Tiger appears to have ended, a chance that Tiger is not dead, and went to Brazil. Meanwhile, Ponce has assumed Tiger's role as the ladies man with young ladies as Miss Smith has moved on to a man her own age. This film is really quite short and an oddity in the writing and casting.One of Roddenberry's daughters, Dawn, is one of the pretty maids in this, her only role outside of being a little blonde girl on Star Trek in 1966. James Doohan (Scotty) is Follo, working with Surcher trying to solve a string that goes to 3 young girls and a campus policeman. At least there are still lots of girls left, though it is a good thing Tiger is finally stopped at the end of this one.

Black comedy about sex and murder at a high school. Guidance counselor Tiger McDrew (Rock Hudson) is banging many of the female students while also trying to help horny virgin Ponce de Leon Harper (John David Carson) get lucky with a hot new teacher (Angie Dickinson). Meanwhile Police Captain Sam Surcher (Telly Savalas) investigates a series of killings at the school.Fun, sexy, and cheesy in the best way. The cast is great. Lots of pretty girls, with of course sexy MILF Dickinson the standout. The script, by Gene Roddenberry of Star Trek fame, is smart and Roger Vadim's direction is good (in his first American film). Perhaps not for all tastes and definitely not for those who take everything seriously. If you enjoy some political incorrectness in your movies, you should have no problem enjoying this.

An oddity from MGM apparently desperate to stay afloat and keep up with the times. Pretty Maids is rather like soft core porn that's been edited for an R rating. Perhaps Roger Vadim's limited understanding of English can account for the vacuous feel and the awkward and uncertain tone, but a stupid script that has no right to exist and Vadim's flat-footed direction are also to blame for this dud. Hudson is interesting because his role provides a contrast from his usual screen persona, but the rest of the cast is adrift. Pretty Maids is ultimately lame and boring; it doesn't work as black comedy or parody and understandably never found an audience. It's shameless exploitation produced and released by a major studio.

This combination black comedy/sexploitation/thriller from director Roger Vadim is undoubtedly the most provocative American movie to come out of the 70's. It starts off with Ponce, our male protagonist, watching as girls pass by. We are given a shot that clues us into the tone of the entire film. Vadim films two teenage girls walking from behind and then brazenly zooms in on their behinds. I was a bit shocked to see Vadim open his movie with such a blatant butt shot. That was until I recalled that this same director opened up his 1956 film, And God Created Woman, with a closeup shot of Brigitte Bardot's bare behind. It's undeniably sexy, but some will see it as sexualizing children as these two girls in their mini-skirts look awfully young. But I credit the director for nailing what it feels be like to be a male high school student surrounded by beautiful female peers through the use of brilliant POV.We then shift to an outside shot of a high school. We're given a few scenes of the students going about their daily activities. All the female students are impossibly beautiful here, dressed in mini-skirts, high heels, and low cut shirts. We are then introduced to Tiger, played by Rock Hudson, in one of his most offbeat roles. He plays a coach/counselor at a Southern Californian High School. Even though he is a married man, he has no qualms having sex with various female students. Meanwhile, a killer is leaving corpses of female students along various parts of the school. An investigation begins and Tiger is the prime suspect. In the meantime, one of his students, Ponce is having a tough time finding a girlfriend. Tiger is willing to give the young man some help. He enlists the help of Miss Smith, played by Angie Dickinson, to help Ponce along, and we are talking about a VERY adult education. Pretty Maids was a mega flop on first release, and it permanently damaged Vadim's career. But today it has the earmarks of a classic, mostly due to three brilliant performances. First off, Rock Hudson in perhaps his last great picture. Just like he was in every other picture before Pretty Maids, he's the man girls want and the man boys want to be, but here it's darker and more cynical version of himself than he ever let people see on the screen. John David Carson is fascinating as Ponce. He goes from awkward school boy to confident man in a series of believable, sequences. It's a difficult role to play, but he makes it look easy. Angie Dickinson has never been better. Angie is sexy throughout the movie playing a naive young teacher, seemingly unaware of how sexy she is.The premise of this Pretty Maids is "free love" for all, which includes teachers having sex with their students! It's shocking to look back and see how strange America was during this time of "free love," as the concept of this movie would be completely taboo now. American is far more puritanical today, especially when it comes to the issue of teens and sex. I think the reason it still hasn't found a home on DVD is because the film takes a libertine view of adolescent sexuality, far more than any other American film has. America has a hard time with this and this film could turn a lot more heads now than perhaps it did in the more permissive 70's. The basic plot premise is shocking, but what REALLY grabs your attention are the literally hundreds of leering shots of female butts, breasts, crotches, legs, or a combo of the 4, all belonging to the various female high school appearing in this film. Just about every female actress playing the part of a student is sexualized in this movie. Outside of a Tinto Brass movie, I can't recall any other film that lovingly showcased the female posterior by filming it in closeup again and again. As outrageous as the numerous shots of rear ends are, they can't hold a candle to all the up skirt peeks director Vadim shows us. We are given scene after scene of girls in impossibly sort mini-skirts bending over, crossing their legs, standing on elevated surfaces, or just walking up the steps. Vadim finds it mandatory to show us a flash of their panties every time. Pretty Maids must have set some sort of record for pantie shots than any movie in history. Did girls in the early 70's really dress like THIS? I can't help but wonder where were there parents during the making of the film? As a man who would like to have a child someday, and hopefully a little girl, it's odd seeing Vadim's camera practically rams itself up the mini-skirt of a young girl going through puberty. If you're a father of a teenage girl and you're reading this review, you might feel guilty for enjoying the content of this movie. But you really shouldn't be. However, I can't emphasize this enough: The girls who appear in this film are NOT the type portrayed in movies that deal with H.S. You know, 20 something actresses cast as H.S. students. The actresses playing the young girls in this movie are actually that, young girls. Some will find the nonstop leering shots of girls who appear to be in the 15-19 age range to cross the line of good taste. I found them VERY necessary considering they were meant to show how Ponce (not to mention director Vadim) views high school aged girls.I suppose a film that deals this frankly with adolescent sexuality this could be made today, but only as an unreleased independent film, ala Ken Park. In the 70s, however, this script was able to attract a whole plethora of respected actors and actresses. You'll ask yourself the whole time how a movie like this could be made in the first place! See it now.