Boring

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

(07.23.89)Live from Baltimore, MarylandAttendance: 12,500Your hosts are Jim Ross & Bob CaudleTwo-Ring Battle RoyalThere are two rings. Everybody starts off in one ring, and, once they're eliminated, they start a new battle royal in the second ring. The winners of the first and second rings face each other in a match where the winner gets 50 thousand dollars. The participants are Ranger Ross, Ron Simmons, Sid Vicious, Danny Spivey, Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan, Mike Rotunda, "Wild" Bill Irwin, Scott Hall, Terry Gordy, Scott Steiner, "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, Eddie Gilbert, and Brian Pillman. The Skyscrapers (Sid Vicious & Danny Spivey) are the remaining two. However, Teddy Long says he refuses to let Sid wrestle against his partner, Danny Spivey. They will split the cash instead.*Thoughts: This was a pretty uneventful battle royal. I didn't care for the concept and the execution was downright shoddy. "Flyin" Brian Pillman Vs "Wild" Bill IrwinPillman wins with a flying crossbody from the top. This is surprisingly a solid little match. Pillman's high-flying offense meshed well with Irwin's wild schtick. I laughed when Irwin would yell "Come on, Brian! Fly around"**3/4The Dynamic Dudes (Johnny Ace & Shane Douglas) Vs The Skyscrapers (Sid Vicious & Danny Spivey) (W/Teddy Long)The Skyscrapers win. I wouldn't call this match a dud by any means, but it's pretty mediocre. The Dynamic Dudes were kinda like a poor man's version of The Rockers. It's interesting to note how over Sid was in this match. There were loud "we want Sid" chants and the crowd went wild for everything he did.*1/2Tuxedo MatchPaul E. Dangerously Vs Jim CornetteTwo of the greatest talkers in the history of wrestling in a match like this? This is not the finest hour for these two. Cornette is playing the face here. Jim Cornette wins after he strips Dangerously down to his underwear. I have to give both credit for making the most of it. They did a commendable job and really went at it. Both took it very seriously. **1/2Texas Tornado MatchKevin Sullivan & Mike Rotunda Vs The Steiner Brothers (W/Missy Hyatt)The Steiner Brothers win. This was a pretty intense brawl while it lasted. It's rather tame for today's standards, but the sheer intensity made this rather fun to watch. **1/2Television ChampionshipSting (C) (W/Eddie Gilbert) Vs The Great Muta (W/Gary Hart)Sting retains the title with a back suplex. However, on the replay, it shows both men's shoulders were down. The Great Muta runs away with the title, leading the title to become vacant. The crowd is LIVID and chants "Bulls***" I've seen wrestling reviewers rate this as high as four stars. I don't rate it as highly as everyone else does. I enjoyed it and thought it was a pretty good match, but felt it was marred by a slow spot when The Great Muta relied on rest holds. ***1/4United States Championship (No Disqualification)Lex Luger (C) Vs Ricky "The Dragon" SteamboatLuger says if Steamboat doesn't wave off the no DQ stipulation, he's not wrestling tonight. Steamboat waves it off and this goes back to a regular contest. Luger wins by DQ after Steamboat nails Luger with a chair. Steamboat goes berserk after the match and punishes Luger with a steel chair, chasing him all the way to the back. This is another really good match on this show. I'm not a fan of Luger's but he worked well with Steamboat. Not only was the psychology good, but the storytelling was excellent. I loved Steamboat's aggression. Great stuff!***3/4War GamesThe Fabulous Freebirds & The Samoan Swat Team (W/Paul E. Dangerously) Vs The Roadwarriors, The Midnight Express & "Dr. Death" Steve Williams (W/Jim Cornette & Paul Ellering)War Games is a cage match with a roof on it and surrounded by two rings. The faces (Roadwarriors team) win when Garvin submits to Hawk. This is absolutely exhilarating stuff. It's non-stop action from beginning to end. Today's fans might find this tame an unappealing, but a true wrestling enthusiast will love this. ****Heavyweight ChampionshipRic Flair (C) Vs Terry Funk (W/Gary Hart)Flair retains after countering the Figure Four into an inside cradle. One of the greatest brawls in the history of wrestling takes place after the match with Flair, Sting, Funk & The Great Muta beating each other senseless. It was a very cool moment seeing Sting and Flair team up at this juncture. This is one of the most physical title matches you'll ever see. It's filled with great psychology. I loved how Flair's neck was the main focus for Funk. Those that love violence will see some bloodshed as well. You want a brawl? You'll get more than your money's worth. You want wrestling? You'll get that too. It's a terrific main event to cap off an amazing PPV.****1/49.5/10 ranking overall.

1. Royal Rumble - First NWA PPV appearance of Vicious Sid 6/10 2. Wild Bill Irwin Vs. Flyin' Brian - Well, Pillman. 7/10 3. Dynamic Dudes Vs. Skyscrapers - Decent match with some screwed moves (for example finishing Power Bomb) 6/10 4. Jim COrnette Vs. Paul E. Dangerosly - What would you expect from Mangaers match... 3/10 5. Kevin Sullivan/Mike Rotunda Vs. The Steiner Brothers - Great match, but Shitllivan 6.5/10 6. TV Title match: Great Muta Vs. Champ-Sting - That was one quick match! 8/10 7. US Heavyweight Title Match: Ricky Steamboat Vs. Champ-Lex Luger 6/10 8. Wrestle War: Midnight Express/Dr. Death/R. Warriors Vs. Samoan brainless team 6/10 9. WHTM: Champ-Ric Flair Vs. Terry Funk 6/10