Ninja Wars
Ninja Wars
| 18 December 1982 (USA)
Ninja Wars Trailers

A fortuneteller prophesizes that whoever marries the beautiful Ukio will become the ruler of the world. Naturally, this makes her very popular with those vying for power, particularly the insatiably greedy Lord Donjo. Only the ninja Jotaro can stop Donjo's plan, but to do so, he must first battle the deadly team of "Devil Monks" serving the lord. Will Jotaro succeed in his mission? And if so, will Ukio marry him, thus making him the ruler of the world?

Reviews
Organnall

Too much about the plot just didn't add up, the writing was bad, some of the scenes were cringey and awkward,

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Ezmae Chang

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

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Cody

One of the best movies of the year! Incredible from the beginning to the end.

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Aspen Orson

There is definitely an excellent idea hidden in the background of the film. Unfortunately, it's difficult to find it.

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Loveunderlaw

If you haven't seen this movie, you don't know what you're missing. It's very over the top IMO, it even puts Riki-Oh to shame. Made in a time before the P.C. movement became all powerful, too much would be banned now sadly. If you get a chance to own the DVD, purchase a copy, you won't regret it.

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Gangsteroctopus

Watch this movie and every time someone says "what's that?!", drink a shot of [insert your favorite hard liquor here]. You will be REALLY drunk before the movie ends. You will NEED to be really drunk to make it to the end.The dialogue scenes in this film are so leadenly directed that it will have you screaming at the TV, "Will somebody PLEASE take less than five whole seconds to respond to someone else's line of dialogue?!" This is clearly not just a matter of bad dubbing (which, granted, in this film it is utterly atrocious), but because the director seems to think that he's Ozu or Kurosawa, forgetting that he's making a ninja movie with Sonny Chiba and Henry Sanada.Not to sneer at Chiba or Sanada. (I adore the 'Streetfighter' series and have watched nearly all of Sonny's other films.) Nor, for that matter, ninja movies. This is a BADLY MADE ninja movie - and there's the distinction.Oh, sure, at times the utter goofiness of some of the situation is good for more than a few laughs (acid-spewing 'devil monk'; head-switching virgin/courtesan twin sisters; spider tea kettle), but the plot is awfully convoluted (again, I'd be more than willing to allow that the godawful dubbing has likely obscured any subtleties or nuance) and bewteen the action scenes, when every other line of dialogue seems to be someone responding in amazement "what's that?!" (are you people deaf or something? clean the wax outta your ears!), you keep praying that very soon someone will again be decapitated.And what's up with that ending? The lovers are whisked off...well, I don't want to spoil it for anyone brave enough to watch this thing, but trust me when I say that at the end of this one you'll either be scratching your head in utter befuddlement or jumping up and down, insanely babbling, "What's that?! What's that?! What's that..?!". Or you'll be passed out from too many shots of [insert favorite hard liquor].

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discostu004

This movie had it all. Big fat sluts with floppy jugs who seduce blind ninjas. It had a big fire and some guy with a lampshade on his head who shot acid from a garden hose poorly placed behind his head. It had ninjas being killed in trees and falling, only to reveal the big string holding them up. All in all, this movie should appeal to the crowd hoping to score with their japanese girlfriend.

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hakker

Ok, this movie rules. The dubbing is great and the story is hilarious. The gratuitous use of blood and decapitated bodies is so funny the gore is lost. Besides, what's better than a good vs. evil story involving a spider tea kettle filled with a magic aphrodesiac, and insane emperor and an evil ninja spirit with one of the best laughs I've ever heard. If you can someway find this movie, check it out.

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