Dreadfully Boring

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

Gender-switch version of Robinson Crusoe, with the roles of Crusoe and Friday played by women. Amanda Blake, of Gunsmoke fame, plays the lead. Rosalind Hayes plays Friday. Because this is the '50s and the main character is a woman, a man (George Nader) has to be introduced into the story. She has to have a beefcake love interest. I'm not even kidding. Once he shows up the entire point of the story becomes less about survival and more about romance. The whole thing is unconvincingly shot on sets and in Palos Verdes, California. They're clearly never on a tropical island. It is reasonably well-photographed, though. The best part about it is the Elmer Bernstein score, which is far better than a cheapie like this deserves. I'm a fan of castaway stories. I've read Dafoe's novel and seen several film adaptations of it. This isn't one of my favorites. It's worth watching for a B movie but don't expect much. Oh and how about our heroine's musket? Does she ever need to reload that thing or is it magic?

I knew, when I saw the awful credits roll, that this was going to be a really bad movie. The titles were drawn on parchment shaped to look like ship's sails and even shook (or vibrated) to imply wind. I barely knew it was filmed in color until a faded red peeked out from the blurry background. The special effects of the ship-wreck reminded me of a child batting about his bathtub toys. The next scene had the beautiful Amanda Blake laying castaway on the beach, her gorgeous red hair freshly coiffed and blow-dried. Her clothes, perfectly intact remained so during the chase scene up the cliff upon which she wrestled with and threw off her twice-as-strong attacker, who, having just recovered from a half-drowned state felt that sex was more important than self-preservation. This was one of those dreadful films that common sense says to turn it off, yet some morbid instinct keeps the viewer riveted to the screen to see how much worse it can get. It does not disappoint. From Ms. Blake's terrible English accent, 'repeating' flintlock muskets, cheesecake females prancing around in Cypress Gardens, a male lead with what looks like glued-on chest hair to a complete departure from reality. At the end, however, I was glad I saw it, and will see it again, not as some cinematic flagellation, but an exercise of satisfaction, having seen the worst movie ever made. I recommend this to anyone who thinks they have seen the worst movie ever. This starts badly and just gets worse. One redeeming feature-Elmer Bernstein's lively music score.

For the past year or so, Turner Classic Movies has been digging up several forgotten obscurities that probably haven't seen the light of day since their original release dates. Such an oddity is MISS ROBIN CRUSOE, a 1954 Fox pickup shown in a pristine, beautifully Pathecolored print this morning at 6 AM. The two other reviews have gleefully pointed out this unpretentious programmer's shortcomings. In defense, I'd like to list its merits. For one, while one critic griped that the movie was obviously shot on a studio soundstage, this is untrue. Several scenes were filmed on location with the stars cavorting in front of spectacular Pacific Ocean vistas(no process shots here!). Then-newcomers Amanda Blake and George Nader could easily have sleepwalked thru the proceedings but act with such sincerity and conviction that it's no wonder both of them quickly went on to stardom: Ms. Blake on TV's legendary 20-year series "Gunsmoke", while Nader was quickly signed to a Universal-International contract (and starred in such 'A' features as "Unguarded Moment", "Away All Boats", "Four Girls in Town", "The Second Greatest Sex" and the unjustly overlooked superior second-feature "Man Afraid"--I've always been grateful to this gentleman for responding to my fan letter, at the age of 8, with a personally autographed 5x7 photo and a hand-written letter of appreciation!). Feminists could write a fascinating thesis on this gender-reversed take on Dafoe's classic novel. (The censors must have been comatose when, towards the conclusion, Ms. Blake and Nader engage in an oceanside coupling that, for pure eroticism, outdoes the similar-but-much-celebrated clinch in "From Here to Eternity" and did I detect a sapphic undertone in the scene where the female Friday gazes at and touches the sleeping Ms. Blake's body?) All of this packed into an action-packed 73-minute running time, scored by the then-unknown Elmer Bernstein. I'm by no means recommending that you go out of your way to track down "Miss Robin Crusoe" but the next time (if ever) it turns up on TCM, you might give it a try. It's certainly far more fun than the Peter O'Toole/Richard Roundtree "revisionist" version of Dafoe's tale, the godawful "Man Friday"!

Amanda Blake (Miss Kitty from "Gunsmoke") plays "Miss Robin Crusoe" in this low-budget, rather crudely made female version of the Daniel Defoe classic. Blake--who bears a striking resemblance here to British beauty Hazel Court--is the survivor of a shipwreck whose lifeboat beaches on a deserted island. She tries her best, but the script is weak and contrived, and the fact that most of it is filmed on a sound stage by director Eugene Frenke--a longtime European producer who was married to Anna Sten, here credited as "technical adviser"--in a routine, by-the-numbers fashion doesn't help, either. Blake saves native girl Friday (Rosalind Hayes) from being sacrificed by her tribe, and not long afterward hunky George Nader washes up ashore, the survivor of a shipwreck. There's somewhat of a twist in the proceedings when Nader attempts to take charge of things and plans to take the lifeboat out to search for passing ships, but is firmly told by Blake that SHE is in charge on the island and SHE decides what actions are to be taken.Unfortunately, though, the film soon degenerates into a sappy love triangle when Friday--who Blake basically treats like a slave and at one point actually refers to her as "a savage"--in a fit of jealousy lets Nader eat some poison fruit that almost kills him, and Blake starts to fall for him.About the best that can be said for it is that it's well photographed, but since most of it is, as noted, shot on a sound stage, that doesn't matter much. Frenke was a better producer than he is a director; Nader is, as usual, bland and colorless; relative unknown Hayes doesn't make much of an impression as Friday; and Blake, while looking fetching in a skimpy outfit similar to that worn by Jane in the "Tarzan" movies, tries but can't overcome a poor script and slovenly direction.Worth watching once for the novelty of seeing a female version of the classic novel, but no more than that.