the leading man is my tpye

SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

Ultra-cheesy, extra low budget science fiction offering from Italy which remains strangely enthralling despite the numerous pitfalls and cheap atmosphere which highlight the declining standards of cult cinema in Italy during the mid-to-late '80s. Whether it's the location filming in the Everglades to give the movie an added oomph, or David Warbeck's winning performance in the leading role of television reporter turned gun-toting hero, Miami GOLEM is a hoot to watch and even more entertaining than Warbeck's similarly cheesy monster flick of 1976, PANIC, as directed by Tonino Ricci. Here the director is Alberto De Martino, who displays little of the style he brought to such films as THE TEMPTER and HOLOCAUST 2000. In fact the film as a whole is lacking in technical skill, with the only highlight being the various action set-pieces which are handled with some degree of eptitude.The story jumps from one scene to the next with little rhyme or reason and the dialogue has to be heard to be believed - it's that cheesy and fake-sounding. What it all boils down to is Warbeck and his girlfriend Trotter fighting it out with the bad guys for possession of an alien embryo kept in a tank. The special effects of said alien are by Sergio Stivaletti, who gives it much the same kind of look as the demon child in DEMONS 2, which is to say it's fun in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way. Check out the hilarious powers of the alien, which uses telekinesis to throw its victims all over the shop! Other fun sci fi elements in the story include a ghostly haunting which is ripped straight out of GHOSTBUSTERS - except the floating "fright mask" isn't as scary here - and a dead rabbit which is dissolved by acid, which then proceeds to eat through the table ALIEN-style.Warbeck's encounter with extraterrestrials starts off well, with an imaginatively-done scene involving a crop circle appearing in the middle of the swamps. Unfortunately all we get for aliens are some flashing lights and Warbeck's double, which cut down on effects costs of course. The film offers plenty of action, including jet boat chases through the Everglades and a fight between Warbeck and his pistol and a helicopter! Lots of minor characters get shot in repeated scenes. Things culminate in the stand-off finale between Warbeck and the alien, which shows him using his wits to defeat it by using whatever makeshift weapon comes to hand - axes, electricity, his gun, you name it. It's a lot of fun and impossible to dislike, especially when they make clever use of strobe lighting effects.Remember the grand old days of the Italian exploitation film in the 1970s, which could boast a cast of a dozen Euro regulars? Sadly that's not the case here, and all we have is a small cast with three 'name' actors. The rest of the actors are the same kind of untalented bunch who turned up in the likes of ZOMBI 3 and other Bruno Mattei-directed films. Warbeck brings effortless charm to his part as the macho action hero and is as great as ever, whilst old-timer John Ireland barks orders but doesn't really do that much except stand around looking grim as the crime boss. The female love interest part is taken by Laura Trotter, sadly saddled with an appalling '80s mullet haircut (or is it a wig?) and looking a lot less attractive than the glamorous blonde of five years previously when she was in NIGHTMARE CITY. Sadly she strips off for a sex and shower scene, which is less than titillating.

The basic premise of "Miami Golem" most definitely deserves a spot in the top, say, fifty of most demented cinematic plots ever scripted down! I know top 50 doesn't sound too impressive, but I've seen a lot of really weird films with lunatic plots. I was prepared from something convoluted, because the film was directed and co-written by Alberto De Martino, who was one of Italy's most ambitious and creative but sadly underrated film makers. De Martino steals multiple ideas from successful blockbusters, like most Italian directors did around that time, but he always adds a lot of stuff to make it even more complex, confusing and overwhelming. Not all of De Martino's films are worthwhile, but some of them are extremely underrated, like "A Special Magnum for Tony Saitta", "Holocaust 2000" and "Formula for a Murder". The concept of "Miami Golem" contains elements from numerous great Sci-Fi and adventure flicks (like "Alien", "Starman" , "Close encounters of the Third Kind", "ET", …) but I wouldn't exactly call it a rip-off. The only thing that is really shamelessly stolen from another film is the opening synthesizer theme song that sounds almost identical to Harold Faltermeyer's Axel F. from "Beverly Hills Cop". The rest of the film is an amusing hodgepodge of fantasy, Sci-Fi, action, horror and superhero-movie gimmicks. It certainly doesn't always make sense (most of the time it doesn't, actually) but "Miami Golem" is undeniably an imaginative and multifaceted film that kept my mate and I fascinated from start to finish.The plot is extremely difficult to briefly summarize but I'll try anyway. Sceptical journalist Craig Milford is reporting the story of a German scientist who allegedly discovered extraterrestrial DNA inside a crashed meteorite and managed to clone it. The DNA cell belongs to an evil alien force that already exterminated another interstellar race in the past and it will unquestionably destroy the whole of mankind as soon as it grows large enough in size. If this isn't problematic enough already, the rich Mr. Anderson ordered to steal the slowly growing evil fetus because he thinks that he can manipulate it and use it to obtain world domination. With the help of some good aliens in an earthly disguise, Craig Milford has the difficult task of safeguarding the planet from the evil fetus. Okay, I know all this sounds grotesque and silly, but I assure that "Miami Golem" is in fact a light-headed and easy digestible flick. The first half of the film may come across as overly hectic and confusing, because Alberto De Martino attempts to keep the plot secret through the use of preposterous red herrings. There are subliminal ghostly appearances, supportive characters behaving exaggeratedly mysterious for no real reason and at a certain point there are even speculations about the lost continent of Atlantis. This is all misleading padding material, however, and as soon as the set-up is more or less clear "Miami Golem" turns into an ordinary early 80's popcorn action movie with bloody massacres, flamboyant chase sequences (in the Florida Everglades!), explosions, gratuitous sleaze and nasty little fetus-monsters in jars.Now, I really don't want to raise the impression that "Miami Golem" is a lost and undeservedly obscure gem of Italian exploitation cinema. Make no mistake, this is a pretty bad movie! The events only become endurable if you accept the stupidity and incoherence of the plot and if you don't succeed in that, well than this is just a non-stop spitfire of negative aspects. The acting performances are painfully awful. Particularly B-movie veteran John Ireland, as the archetypal James Bond villainous character, doesn't seem the least interested in the script. You can tell from his grimaces and by the way he delivers his lines that he also thinks the whole production is retarded and simply signed up for the paycheck. Laura Trotter is probably the least sexy female lust-object ever, and the person who drew the marvelously chaotic VHS cover must have felt exactly the same way, because the ravishing girl on the cover does not appear anywhere in the movie. What an embarrassment this must be for Mrs. Trotter. Still, her completely gratuitous nudity sequences compensate for this, as she's quite hot from the neck down. And, finally, there's the unforgettable scene where David Warbeck takes down a helicopter from a moving school bus with a regular pistol! I don't think even John Rambo can do this, while he's a beefcake Vietnam veteran and Warbeck's character is a simple TV-reporter.

Miami Golem aka Miami Horror is a saucy little mish mash of adventure. It's not horror, action or sci-fi; it's really a tacky combo of Hollywood elements &cliches sort of strung together logically. Stars David Warbeck and Laura Trotter put together solid performances. And the rest of the cast is up to task as well. At the end of his career, Albert DeMartino directs what is essentially a cornball script quite well. Some great photography of Miami is exploited by the filmmakers, in order to hammer home the concept that, this is indeed Miami. Which brings us to the issue of the other word in the title; golem/horror. Now, this little fella is ridiculously silly in appearance, yes. But so was Miami in the 80's and did I mention the script? Hilarious. As for the music, other reviewers have noted the obvious borrowing of Beverly Hills Cop motifs. But this happens only during the opening credits montage. The rest of the score works very well for helping to propel the corny script. Why the composer Detto Mariano so blatantly "borrowed" Axel's Theme is anybody's guess, but again, this is only during the very beginning of the freaking movie, so its not as big a deal as other reviewers have noted. Other musical passages are very dramatic and/or intense. Miami Golem is worth a look if you enjoyed such films as Devil Fish, Pod People or Puma Man. It is a charming little action movie that has ambitions which are reached for with endearing failure. Also I think it is interesting to note that Warbeck & Trotter each appeared in perhaps the 2 most special of all the Italian Horror films released in 1981, The Beyond & Nightmare City, respectively. In my mind these films represent the pinnacle of Italian Horror during the final part of its most amazing era. Although Miami Golem does not come near the level of visceral engagement those films create, it is nonetheless solid, this may almost be top notch entertainment.

~Spoiler~ That quote says it all. So I'm perusing the video store in search of any horror films that I have not seen. I mean ANY. So something strikes my eye: Miami Horror. Why did it strike my eye? Because it blatantly and unapologetically ripped off the Miami Vice logo. It was such a bad rip I had to pick it up. Guess who's on the cover? David Warbeck! As if I needed another reason to rent it, the director's name was Martin Herbert, an obvious pseudonym. So I know it's Italian and I know I have to see it. The first few minutes are a prelude to an awful cinematic experience. Miami Horror not only ripped off the Miami Vice logo, they ripped off the Beverly Hills Cop score, only very terribly. And the editor must have disappeared because there are two scenes (TWO!) that are shown back to back twice in a row. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. If that's not enough, the acting is crap from everyone (even Warbeck), the story is completely random and boring, and the direction is amateurish at best. This is a long way from The Beyond for the late Mr. Warbeck. A shame too. There is a great scene where Warbeck takes out a helicopter with a pistol. I haven't seen something that awesome since Escape from the Bronx. And after all that, the Miami Horror turns out to be nothing more than the It's Alive baby. Avoid it. Don't be sucked in by the great cover art.