Too much of everything

Such a frustrating disappointment

Admirable film.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

The Massage Parlor Murders!. Exactly what it sounds like. Typical 1970s drive-in yarn from the 42nd St. grind house fare offering a LOT of medium local talent and a lack of budget for proper coverage of actors, AND dubbing.So many scenes are MOS, it suggests the problem of NOT having enough dough to re-shoot, or ADR. Still, these particular films from that segmented era of time bring forth some of the most fascinating artifacts. For starters, the mark of vintage NYC in the day when things couldn't have been for in-your-face blunt. There is certainly that. Also, it is commendable what some filmmakers can accomplish with such limited resources. There's plenty of ambiance and character (by character I mean NYC itself) to provide the common viewer with fascinating elements beside the random thrills.What we have is, naturally, a homicidal nut , preying on the sleazy, lustful, and unfortunate looking women working Massage Parlors in the Times Square area. The premise alone could have been grounds for an ABC or CBS movie-of-the-week (MOW), however, the production company, big-wigs, whom-ever and however you wish to refer to them, needed a quota on nudity and cheap violence. Naturally, directors Chester Fox and Alex Stevens pad out the running time with said filler content to the point that it becomes predictable and boring. That's not always a bad thing, except that naked women with fake blood poured on their bodies hardly makes an impression. Onto more positive aspects, we have a few great lead performances.George Spencer as lead Detective Rizotti. He's honest and straight-forward with a slight humor to him. Right out of a typical cop show of the times, thrust into the degrading and cheap sex and violence. As most films are time capsules, he is never-the-less entertaining and endearing in his own right. John Moser displays absolute charisma as side-kick Det. O'Mara. He has movie star looks, ferocious physical attributes, and a sensitive demeanor. A perfect leading man, who, baffling enough, only has an alleged "Dallas" episode as his following credit on this site! (?) It's a shame he didn't carry this one through as the head detective, and other higher budgeted projects like it. Then there's the always remarkable Sandra Peabody (nee Cassell) of original 'The Last House on the Left (1972') fame. It's assuredly criminal that she, herself, never rose above such tawdry affairs as this. She always displayed perfect commitment to pathos in every role she had in her short B-Movie career. Each performance finely tuned to fit not only the character, but the script and intentions themselves. Fans of her, and they are many, will be satisfied by this aspect alone, if nothing else.The rest of the cast consist of obvious raw, inexperienced NY talent that bring forth endearing ambiance, which says a lot considering there isn't too much credibility among the rest of the production values amid the pedestrian circumstances. 'Massage Parlor Murders!' is none-the-less a film to be loved by it's adorning fans despite it's stance in a long line of sub par drive in fare which remains mediocre at best. Really, it's no higher than a Roger Corman picture from New World Pictures at that same time, yet all those films resonate positively and still hold up to this day. "Massage" and it's peer titles do not.

MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS! is a cheap and scuzzy exploitation horror movie with that gritty, on the street vibe. No matter that most of the story takes place in the same room simply dressed up to look different each time, this is a film that delivers the good for fans of 1970s grindhouse cinema. The story is about a psycho working his way through the girls at a massage parlour, offing them in particularly grisly ways, while the cops (including one guy who looks like a cross between George Peppard and Kevin Costner) track him down.It's a simple film simply told, one that manages to cram in as much exploitative material as is humanly possible. Filming in the streets of New York circa 1973 is a treat for fans of the era. The acting is quite horrible, but the film manages to fit no less than two cameos from well-known actors; George Dzundza and Brother Theodore both shine as potential suspects, the latter in particular with a hilarious monologue. MASSAGE PARLOR MURDERS! manages to fit a ton of nudity into the running time, although not as much sex as you'd expect. Add in cheesy music, a random scene of an overweight guy dancing in a tutu, a car chase, and a series of sloppy but nasty gore murders in the H.G. Lewis vein, and you have a perfectly acceptable piece of exploitation fare.

A deranged and ferocious killer terrorizes the sordid red light district of Times Square in New York City by savagely bumping off the lovely young ladies who work at massage parlors located throughout the area. It's up to grouchy veteran detective Rizotti (solid George Spencer) and his more cheerful younger partner O'Mara (likable John Moser) to figure out the maniac's identity and apprehend the fiend before he strikes again. Directors Chester Fox and Alex Stevens do a sound job of creating and sustaining a perfectly sleazy tone from start to finish, deliver oodles of tasty female nudity, stage a wild car chase with rip-roaring gusto, and offer a marvelously seamy time capsule of dirty'n'dingy 70's New York complete with foul backrooms in seedy massage parlors, grungy fleapit theaters (check out those incredible double bills on the marquees!), raunchy newsstands with issues of Penthouse for sale (keep 'em peeled for issues of Screw magazine as well!), filthy back alleys, and even a swingin' naked orgy at a public pool. The murder set pieces not only are quite ugly, brutal, and twisted, but also have a nifty religious motif concerning the seven deadly sins that predates "Seven" by over two decades. The game acting by a sturdy cast of familiar exploitation cinema faces keeps things humming: The delectable Sandra Peabody of "The Last House on the Left" fame projects an utterly winsome charm as the sweet Gwen, adorable blonde pixie John Sarno soft-core regular Chris Jordan makes the most out of her regrettably brief screen time as the lunatic's first victim Rosie, Anne Gaybis has a brash ball as the sassy Sunny, the singular Brother Theodore contributes a stand-out loopy'n'lively turn as wacko astrologer Theodore, and, best of all, there's even an early appearance by a very young and then unknown George Dzundza as pervy client Mr. Creepy. Victor Petrashevic's rough and unpolished cinematography provides a suitably scroungy look. The funky-throbbing score hits the get-down groovy spot. Good scuzzy fun.

"Massage Parlor Hookers" (otherwise known as "Massage Parlor Murders!") is something of a disappointment, promising more titillation and trash than it ultimately delivers, so exploitation fanatics are advised not to get their hopes up too high before viewing it. It doesn't even show off that much female flesh. Even the one sex scene is rather tastefully done. The movie is very crude, yet undeniably it's so incredibly amusing at times that this helps to keep the rating fairly high.Detectives Rizotti (George Spencer) and O'Mara (John Moser) are on the trail of a ghoul slaughtering the young lovelies who work in NYC's massage parlors. For Rizotti, it's personal: one of the victims, Rosie (soft core / hard core pro Chris Jordan) was a favourite of his. And O'Mara gets close and personal with Rosie's roommate Gwen (Sandra Peabody of "The Last House on the Left" '72).Choppily edited and graced with a very loud, yet enjoyable music score, this movie does offer some entertainment. It can boast one good car chase in which the person doing the pursuing is clad only in a towel, a series of tacky murders including death by stabbing, a face smashed into a mirror, and acid poured over a lady's body, a memorable WTF moment where the detectives watch a masseuse with a client - a portly ballet dancer in a leotard who moves to the strains of "In the Hall of the Mountain King", and a priceless revelation where Rizotti finally figures out the motive behind the killings - while in church, no less. Brother Theodore has one hysterical scene as a potential suspect, and the movie also has some value as a curiosity: it's an early screen credit for prominent character actor George Dzundza, playing a client with the moniker of "Mr. Creepy". (Dzundza also takes an assistant director credit.)Even at 80 minutes long, one CAN feel the padding on this thing. As adult fare goes, it's decent enough, but won't be as sleazy or as sexy as some viewers will want.Seven out of 10.