The Worst Film Ever

Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.

Nice effects though.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Marilyn lights up every scene in which she's not engulfed by the large frame of Montand. She's no less captivating in "Let's Make Love" then she is in "Gentlemen Marry Blondes" when she descends an artificial staircase buttressed by two other leggy actresses who can't for a moment take our gaze away from Marilyn.Nevertheless, the film feels awkward and slow, with a jolting, herky-jerky movement from from one scene to the next. Part of the unease is due to the feminist responses--some, like Gloria Steinem's, in book-length form--that attempt to portray Marilyn as a victim, created and manipulated by the machinery and machinations of a patriarchal Hollywood system. No matter than the autonomous energy and power that Marilyn radiates in every scene give the lie to the notion that she was used and abused as a puppet responding to the strings of her male masters. There was only one Marilyn--whether seen as the essence of glamour and sexiness--or the big screen's brightest female comedienne.It's Marilyn who has power over us, demanding and commanding our gaze, more than any of her "handlers" had control of her. But her talent is based on far more than looks and choreography. The sound of her voice is at one moment "breathy" and the next (especially during her singing) full of ringing overtones, like the 1000 bells that Frank Capra attributed to the speaking voice of Jean Arthur. So enough of the feminist criticisms of this film for enacting the "entrapment" of Marilyn that she was alleged to experience off-screen. Her free spirit resists containment, despite the many attempts of academic minds to wrap their book covers around it.The failures of the film are not the fault of Montand, who can't help it if his large physical size accompanied by undeniable talent, charm and grace, are simply not "right" for the part he's been asked to play. Of the male co-stars originally proposed for the role--Gregory Peck, Gary Cooper, James Stewart, Cary Grant, Rock Hudson--Stewart is the one for whom the only objection might be his age. An extraordinary (if underrated) actor--with unlimited range--by 1960 Stewart was no longer George Bailey (from "It's a Wonderful Life") or even Scottie (from "Vertigo"). But the major problem with the film is it's sheer scale. The producers seemed so enamored of the period's technology--super-Cinemascope plus high-fidelity, multi-track film--that neglected more important elements like story, character development and a film score.On my television screen, the blown-up images threaten to crop out Tony Randall's image in every scene. Like the story, Hollywood's cutting-edge technology creates images that are to simply overblown, or inflated, to create any "suspension of disbelief" experienced by the viewer. Even the length of the project--2 hours--is twice, maybe 4 times, the time needed to tell and "sell" this one-idea story, which could have easily been done in a 30-minute sit-com.Nevertheless, all of the reported off-screen problems-- with writers, directors, stars, labor strikes, make-up artists and costume designers--would have meant nothing to anybody--if the picture and been an instant commercial success. Advice: don't read anything more about this movie. Instead, just watch the film. Or just watch Marilyn.(Addendum: Today the words "make love" have acquired a much more specific meaning--practically a euphemism for "the act itself"--than was the case in 1960. Up until 1968 "making love" referred to nothing more than cuddling and kissing. So lighten up and enjoy the vital, unique talent of the screen's inimitable siren, Marilyn.)

*Spoiler/plot- Let's Make Love, 1960. A French handsome eligible billionaire is tired of women chasing him for his money. He finds a small New York stage play that is making a satire involving him. He shows up to stop the public embarrassment of the shows opening. He falls in love with the lead struggling actress. He tries to win the love of a stage actress by pretending to be another starving New Your actor in the same stage play.*Special Stars- Marilyn Monroe, Yves Montand, Tony Randal, Frankie Vaughan, Wilfrid Hyde-White.*Theme- People from different backgrounds can find common matters to make a relationship.*Trivia/location/goofs- Musical. Script written by Monroe's new husband, Arthur Miller. Lead male role re-cast over six times but finally accepted by M. Monroe's final approval.*Emotion- An entertaining musical film combined with Marilyn Monroe and several great catchy song numbers. A time capsule of the late 50's and so a bit of history for the viewer.*Based On- "Mr. Monroe's" Arthur Miller script.

With the burden of all her own insecurity and distractions, and with all the commercial desperation haunting Fox's post-"Cleopatra" project, Marilyn actually delivers a very good all-round performance in "Let's Make Love." At times, such as her singing and dancing, and especially playing against Montand, I think she really is brilliant. She certainly acts and performs the wooden French star off the screen. (The thoroughly polished and rather cool British star Frankie Vaughan is a far better match for her as a performer.)Everyone has heard tell what a nightmare she could be to work with. I tend to think her Hollywood associates should have forgiven her eccentricities - apart from that late, great - and very nice - person Jane Russell, did she really have any friends in that brittle world? And yet they were all happy for her to sell the tickets that made her vehicles the big draw they were and earned the big bucks for the studios.Shame someone hadn't taken her 'little girl lost' aura more seriously than just thinking it meant she was an annoying airhead. Shame on them all for lusting after that magnificent physique, while impatiently and cruelly discarding the complex and tender person herself!If more people in her life had ever really shown her simple kindness and understanding, she might have lived longer, achieved more - and, most importantly of all, in the end, been happier. What an utter shame.

Poor romantic comedy that was subsequently talked down by director George Cukor and its two main stars, Yves-Montand and Marilyn Monroe. The latter only doing the film due to contractual commitments to 20th Century Fox. There were also problems with the affair that Montand & Monroe were having since both parties will still married to Simone Signoret and Arthur Miller respectively. Perhaps because they were trying not to show their feelings on screen explains why the coupling comes off as bland and listless? Monroe at least captivates and looks very well here, but Montand is dull as dish water and it's hard to believe that Monroe in character or in real life could go for such dullness.The plot is unadventurous and it's tough enough to swallow without Cukor forcing in lame humour, lead weight dialogue and sub-par music numbers. A spark of hope that we might get a good movie arrives early with Marilyn's entrance, resplendent in figure hugging costume and warbling "My Heart Belongs to Daddy", but it's a false dawn and only serves to remind us why we loved her in the first place, and, that she deserved better than this. Montand's role had been touted to a number of high profile American actors, notably Cary Grant, James Stewart, Rock Hudson and Gregory Peck, the latter of which did get the gig but quickly got out of it upon viewing the script. Peck is also credited with a humorous and most fitting quote about the finished movie. He wryly observed that the end result "About as funny as pushing Grandma down the stairs in a wheelchair." Now where's Tomy Udo when you need him most eh? He could have pushed this movie down the stairs with Grandma too.The film is also guilty of other things. It's at least 30 minutes too long and Tony Randall is badly underused as Coffman, PR aid to Clement (Montand). While cameos by Gene Kelly, Bing Crosby & Milton Berle, as pleasant as they are, just smacks of film makers trying to dress up a dogs dinner. There's some enjoyment to be had in Wilfred Hyde-White's sarcastic support turn, while some value can be got from the De Luxe Color/CinemaScope production. But really they are thin excuses from which to use in recommending this to anyone but the hardiest of Monroe completists. 3/10