Plot so thin, it passes unnoticed.

People are voting emotionally.

Best movie ever!

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

... but perfect inspiration for a site that help people avoid wasting time watching truly rotten films like this.Whether or not you've started watching this yet or not it's never too late to "eject."Press stop.

Unbelievably, this movie was made after Robin Williams showed the world how awesome a genie could be. Maybe they didn't see Aladdin. Or any movie.Kazaam could possibly be one of the worst movies ever made. Terrible and mixed messages, bad dialogue, cinematography and editing from a blind person, horrible and uncharismatic characters – so no one to root for, inconsistences in an incoherent script, sickening special effects and probably the most horrifying raps any human spoke/sang are just some of the problems. But, I'm sure with the many more issues I didn't list, this film could be taught in college on how not to make a movie. This all-over-the-place mess didn't even try. Sometimes I just feel sorry for bad filmmakers who had a vision and at least tried. There was no attempt here but some to cash a check that probably bounced anyways.Not much of a plot, but a bullied and unlikable kid releases a boom-box genie in an abandoned building that was in the process of being demolished, but the filmmakers forgot to finish that idea. Kazaam, a bland genie, just wants to grant three wishes to the delinquent so he could be imprisoned again, I guess. All that is followed by no less than six other subplots, none of worth repeating, remembering or writing about.Again, there's so many things wrong with this "family-friendly" kid movie, but probably the most despicable is how creepy the adult Kazaam acts around his "master," the 12-year-old boy. He stalks him, ends up in bed with him and even kisses him…on the mouth, no less. I don't care that this came out 20 years ago, none of this should've ever been seen as anything but a recruiting video for pedophiles. It's not so bad it's good, it's so bad…it's unforgivable. ***Final thoughts: Granted, I just watched a ton of artsy Oscar-bait movies to catch up on the 2015 nominated movies, so I wanted a little dumb movie action. Additionally, I needed to see this this for the fantastic How Did This Get Made? podcast that covered it. Maybe I did get my wish: I really got something INCREDIBLY dumb. You outdid yourself this time, Kazaam!

Bad movies are easy to fault, 'Kazaam' is a total mystery, a movie that goes wrong from the very basic concept. I could not figure out how anyone thought that casting basketball great Shaquille O'Neal as a genie was a good idea. How in the world do you convince anyone to spend millions of dollars on this concept? I could argue that it's an ad for Shaq as a product but the movie showcases none of the charm and talent that have made him a star athlete. So what's the point? The pathetic stab at a story involves a lonely kid who finds a boom box in the wreckage of an old building. Suddenly out pops a 5,000-year-old genie that grants him three wishes. Therein lies the first question – How could a 5,000 year old genie live in an object that has probably been around only about 10 years? Kazaam gives the kid a mountain of candy that falls from the sky and therein lies the second question – How does he know what candy is and how does he know how to materialize them in wrappers that he has never seen? I also put this question to the mountain bike that he presents to the kid. Kazaam's boom box was found the wreckage of a building. Somehow I feel like I've given more thought to this script then they did.As for the kid, he's played by Francis Capra, a young actor the I liked in Robert De Niro's 'A Bronx Tale' a few years back. In that film he was likable, bright and always seemed to be listening when the other actors were speaking to him, not just waiting for his cue. Here that's all gone, he's bored and never seems to be trying. It's kind of like watching Maculay Culkin in his worst films.'Kazaam' is tired. I'm not just talking about the script or idiotic idea of casting Shaquille O'Neal as a genie but I mean this movie is paced so lethargically that it made me tired just watching it do nothing. This is what I call a 'door movie', because the filmmakers don't care what you see on screen because after you've paid the admission and gone through the door, their job is basically done.

This isn't as much of a film as it is a giant promotional campaign by Touchstone Pictures to market the NBA's worst free thrower with his extraordinary height. Not only is this obviously forever trapped in a time capsule set to 1996, but everything in this film is done so bad that it's completely laughable.If I had a handful of cardboard cutouts, they would be far more dimensional than any of the people that acted in this film. It's obvious that Shaq not only fails at free throws, rapping and being a video game character, but his acting is absolutely dreadful. He's a "rapping" (actually a RHYMING) genie that moved into a boombox and is summoned when a boy named Max (played by a young Francis Capra) stumbles upon him after being chased by bullies. Throughout the movie, Shaq becomes a subject of slavery as Max owns him until his three wishes are granted. That's pretty much the whole plot, unless you're actually going to include a meaningless subplot about "finding the true father".It doesn't get any better from there. Shaq demonstrates his mad rapping skills by appearing at a night club where he becomes a selected guest. Guess how fast Theodor Geisel was spinning in his grave when he brought forth the detestable line of "Let's green egg and ham it!" Probably around the same speed that would also be brought forth by those two live action adaptations that shall not be named.Then there's some phenomenal acting. I'm talking about the magical french toast. That performance was far more convincing than anything you could expect Shaq to give us. Too bad this film killed its career.Speaking of career killers, ever noticed what happened to Paul Michael Glaser after he directed this film? It's a long story.Granted, it's not one of THE worst things I have ever seen, but it's very close. Kazaam is proof that pitching a non actor as a main character usually does not give satisfactory results. With all this time wasted in the production of this film, I bet Shaq could have gotten some more practice at free throws. The most shocking thing about this? Shaq actually got ANOTHER lead role a year later, but that's a whole different story subject.