Nice effects though.

It is not deep, but it is fun to watch. It does have a bit more of an edge to it than other similar films.

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Believe it or not, there's actually a song whose lyrics sing, "If this be slavery, then give me slavery. If this be slavery, I don't want to be free!" Not only did someone think to write it, but the song was given the green light by Hollywood producers, put into a film, performed by the dance duo Marge and Gower Champion, and not cut from the final film! That should give you an idea as to the quality of music featured in the Esther Williams vehicle Jupiter's Darling.Esther Williams is engaged to Roman leader George Sanders, but she's drawn to Howard Keel, who's made it his mission to attack and conquer Rome. It's quite a love triangle, because Howard Keel isn't the most likable guy ever written, but he sings powerfully seductive songs and even picks up and moves a real leopard guarding Esther's bed! My one question is why didn't George Sanders get any songs? He showed off his beautiful voice in Call Me Madam, but maybe Hollywood didn't want to give Howard Keel any competition-not that he'd really have any. He's clearly the manly macho one in the movie, and he's scantily dressed, giving audiences an up close and personal view of his macho manliness.Still, while Howard Keel is able to save a couple of songs in the movie, unless you're an Esther Williams fan, you probably won't end up renting this one. Underwater dancing is a very specialized talent, one that not everyone likes to watch. Then again, you might get a kick out of Richard Haydn sounding very much like his famous Caterpillar role from Alice in Wonderland. Or, you might enjoy looking at Howard Keel in a Greek warrior outfit that barely fits him. One more thing: This is a little criticism, but I do have it-there's a Marge and Gower Champion song performed alongside a couple of elephants, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the animals. One was supposed to fall over and roll around, while the dancers make fun of it, but to me, it wasn't cute.

Esther Williams' swan song at MGM is also her final aquatic musical. Less significantly, it's also the last (and best) of the three movies Esther did with Howard Keel. It's a movie that takes place in ancient Rome where Esther plays Amytis, the object of affection for Roman ruler Fabius (George Sanders). Fabius is anticipating an attack on Rome from the famous military commander Hannibal (a bearded Howard Keel). When Hannibal meets Amytis, she tries to use her feminine charms to persuade him not to attack.It's a silly movie but an enjoyable one that is better than its reputation suggests. The sets and costumes are all colorful and bright, though some today might find it all a bit corny. Esther is fit and gorgeous (those legs!) with a lovely underwater swimming number where she 'dances' with statues that come to life. A real classic and the highlight of the film. She does well in the romantic scenes with Howard Keel, who sings some forgettable tunes. I especially liked that Esther's character was so sexy and fun. Of the three films Keel and Esther did together, this is the one where they have the best chemistry. The cast backing up the leads is solid. George Sanders plays Fabius with as much seriousness as he can muster considering how silly the whole thing must have seemed to him. Richard Hayden is oddly enjoyable as the singing storyteller Horatio. Others in the cast include William Demarest, Douglas Dumbrille, Michael Ansara, and dancing couple Gower & Marge Champion. The Champions perform the "If This Be Slavery" number ("Hooray for slavery!"), which has some lyrics that are funny when taken out of context. Most of the songs and dance numbers are nothing to write home about but none are terrible. Anything with Esther is worth seeing just for her smile...and those legs!

A legendary MGM flop, one of the big musicals reputed to have helped kill off big musicals. And it's pretty silly in spots, with a buff Gower Champion singing lyrics like "If this be slavery/ I don't want to be free!" and song-and-dance cues arriving perfunctorily. But it's also an enterprising effort at keeping a dying genre alive, with plenty of sung-lyric exposition by Richard Haydn as a bewildered historian, and more plot-song integration than most MGM musicals attempted. It's also sexier than the average musical, quite frank about why Hannibal kept delaying his attack on Rome, and with plenty of chemistry between Esther Williams and Howard Keel in the main plot and the Champions as the secondary, comic-relief couple. The Burton Lane-Harold Adamson songs aren't great, but they aren't terrible, and for such a huge production, it's surprisingly light on its feet and irreverent. There's a fairly exciting, well-edited chase-through-the-water climax, and if Dorothy Kingsley's screenplay doesn't achieve the Shavian heights it's attempting to scale, it's smarter than most musical screenplays of the day. The wide screen is well filled, and the thing moves quickly. Well worth a look.

I don't have many of the great MGM musicals of the 1940s and 50s in my video collection, but my interest in history resulted in my acquiring this decidedly minor work. I couldn't pass it up. Ancient history in American cinema tends (heavily) to be biblical history with a handful of glances at Ancient Egypt and Rome. Seriously, think of the best known titles: DeMille's THE TEN COMMANDMENTS [second version], SAMSON AND DELILAH, KING OF KINGS, THE SIGN OF THE CROSS, CLEOPATRA; THE EGYPTIAN; Joe Mankiewicz's CLEOPATRA; QUO VADIS (with Taylor, Kerr, and Ustinov); THE LAND OF THE PHAROAHS [with Joan Collins]. Films about ancient Greece are even rarer than this: THE FOUR HUNDRED SPARTANS (for the events leading to the defeat of Persia in 480 B.C.); HELEN OF TROY and ULYSSES (the latter actually an Italian film, but starring Kirk Douglas and Anthony Quinn); JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS. There are a few I've missed. Foreign cinemas have not been much better.This film is about one of history's great military failures - Hannibal Barca, the Carthagenian tactical genius who is remembered for bringing his army over the alps (including his elephants - a feat of arms that is still marvelled at). He was of Phoenician ancestry, being from the city of Carthage in North Africa (founded by the Phoenicians). He probably was dark skinned, like most North Africans. He probably did not look like Howard Keel, a good actor and singer (KISS ME KATE, CALAMITY JANE - the latter as Wild Bill Hickok, THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS). Since this is a musical comedy the audience will swallow it, but from a historical realistic view the role cried for a singer and actor with a darker skin - someone like Paul Robson. However, for age reasons and political reasons Robson would have been impossible in 1955.The basis of this film is Robert Sherwood's play, THE ROAD TO ROME, which was a comedy against war. Actually beyond this is the fact that Hannibal, having won five great victories against the Romans (capped by the total routs of Roman arms at Lake Transemene and Cannae) had the "road to Rome" open for his army - had he moved he would have destroyed Rome, and history would have been centered in North Africa for quite awhile. His dawdling lost him his chance, and the tactics of the Roman General Fabius Maximus (to snipe at Hannibal's army over a long period of time, until it was tired and demoralized) won the war after a decade. Fabius was killed in a skirmish, but his place was taken by Scipio Africanus, who delivered the knock-out blow at Zama in 202 B.C. Hannibal fled Carthage, to commit suicide in Macedonia a number of years later when he was about to be handed over to the Romans. Carthage was stripped of it's power and wealth, but nearly sixty years later it was purposely destroyed by the Romans (at the prodding of Cato the Elder, a bigotted Senator) in the pointless Third Punic "War". The population was killed or enslaved, and the town levelled - the site ploughed over with salt so nothing would ever grow there. Hence the bitter term: "Carthagenean Peace". But the memory of Rome's close call at the hands of this genius was a constant nightmare even at the height of their empire. In the AENIAD, Vergil has the doomed North African princess Dido die, praying that her descendant (Hannibal) destroys the Romans. Prior to the collapse of the Empire at the hands of "barbarian" tribes Hannibal was Rome's closest call to destruction.This play may have been good in 1927, but it dates now. Moreover, Sherwood, despite some stage credits like IDIOT'S DELIGHT, is best remembered for his dual biography (which is still useful) ROOSEVELT AND HOPKINS, about FDR and his advisor Harry Hopkins. Keeping this in mind, my use of the term "minor" is understandable. It is not like a musical based on, say a play by Eugene O'Neill or Tennessee Williams. [Actually O'Neill plays have been turned into musicals: NEW GIRL IN TOWN is based on ANNA CRISTIE, and AH WILDERNESS! was turned into the musical TAKE ME ALONG.]Williams and Keel are attractive together, but the Burton Lane score is not that good (a number with Marge and Gower Champion about the elephants seems very silly now). George Sanders gives his normally good performance, his Fabius being a mother-dominated type (momma is Norma Varden, who disapproves of his choice of Williams as a wife), but who is an intelligent military leader - witness how he realizes that the best way to fight Hannibal is not to present a pitched battle, but to wear him down. The action of the film is in 217 B.C., when the war was peaking for Hannibal, and Fabius did not die for nearly six years more. Interestingly enough Douglas Dumbrille has a brief part as Scipio, reminding us that the military affairs would remain in highly capable hands at the end. William Demerest is properly flustered a few times, constantly ready to give the signal for the final advance of the Carthageneans on Rome, only to find Hannibal unavailable or unwilling to tell him to do so. One wishes more had been done with Richard Haydn, as a historian named Horatio, but he seems wasted here. A film curiosity - not a great film though.