Sorry, this movie sucks

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

Following a loveless wedding rehearsal, automobile designer Herbert Marshall (as James "Jim" Buchanan) has a bad day with his "Buchanan Motor Co" board of directors and goes for a walk in the park. Contemplating life on a park bench, Mr. Marshall meets attractive blonde Jean Arthur (as Joan Hawthorne). Assuming Marshall is likewise unemployed, Ms. Arthur shares the "Help Wanted" classified ads with him. She thinks they might improve their luck by responding to a "cook and butler" job offer together. They get a job working for shady Leo Carrillo (as Michael "Mike" Rossini) at "Rossini Manor", but must pretend to be husband and wife. When he discovers Marshall and Ms. Arthur are not sharing the bed in their living quarters, Mr. Carrillo decides to move in on Arthur...Of course, Marshall and Arthur discover they mutually attracted. Partially because it's so expected, there is little interest or investment in Marshall and Arthur as a couple. The co-stars have a few good moments – curiously, they are more appealing when they are not sharing the screen. The story seems to slow down as it progresses. Gravel-voiced Lionel Stander (as Flash) adds some much-needed spark. "If You Could Only Cook" is more famous as the film Columbia Pictures chief Harry Cohn falsely promoted abroad as a Frank Capra Production. The successful filmmaker was understandably miffed at the studio mogul.****** If You Could Only Cook (12/25/35) William A. Seiter ~ Herbert Marshall, Jean Arthur, Lionel Stander, Leo Carrillo

It's good to have this almost excellent screwball delight now available on an excellent Columbia/Sony DVD. Although it's not a fraction as famous as My Man Godfrey or Bringing Up Baby, I think it's a much funnier film, even though it does have a couple of minor defects – not in the writing, but in the playing. First off, I think that first-billed Herbert Marshall is miscast. His acting is faultless, but his personality is wrong. For me, Herbert Marshall lacks charm. It's hard to believe that a lovely girl like Jean Arthur would fall in love with him.My second problem player is Leo Carillo. I think everyone would agree that he over-acts. Problem is that he is actually required to do so, in order to keep up with Lionel Stander. And the funny thing is that we don't mind Lionel over-acting. In fact, we enjoy it. He always shouts and over-reacts because that is his shtick. You could say that's Carillo's method of drawing attention to himself too. But I nearly always find Carillo's performances at least slightly offensive. I don't have the same reaction to Stander's, because Stander is sending up gangsters – or at least movie gangsters. On the other hand, Carillo is satirizing Mexicans. All Mexicans! True, he wasn't the only player in the what-a-dumb-lot-Mexicans-are business, but he was certainly the most prominent. I always cringe when his name comes up on the screen. Aside from the not-always-appropriate presence of Marshall and Carillo, If You Could Only Cook is a delightfully engaging movie. Almost one of the best!

As much as I want to like anything Jean Arthur is in, I have to admit that "If You Could Only Cook" is a rather drab attempt at a screwball comedy.Arthur and Herbert Marshall play an out-of-work girl and an auto executive, respectively, who pose as husband and wife in order to take a job as cook and butler in the home of a gangster (Leo Carillo). You might think this sets the stage for all manner of screwball antics, but no such antics ever really arise. The film treats the story lazily and perfunctorily. Arthur and Marshall of course fall in love, but more because the screenplay forces them to than because it seems natural for their characters. The two actors acquit themselves as well as they can, but the movie just sort of plods along around them.Fans of either Arthur or Marshall will probably want to give this film a look, but don't expect a screwball classic.Grade: B-

Quite a delightful movie! I started watching expecting a rip-off of My Man Godfrey and wound up being entertained by its twists and turns. Herbert Marshall and Jean Arthur made a great pairing opposite the gangsters with hearts of gold and the corporate execs who were timid in business matters but very quick to make social judgments. I thought the opening was an actual wedding because of the decor of the room, the large number of onlookers and the semi-formal attire worn by the men. The bride in a black suit momentarily surprised me but I figured it was a Depression era economy. It was only when the organist made his joking comment that I realized it was a rehearsal.This was a fun introduction to a director whose name was unfamiliar but whose work I'd enjoyed in the past. Seeing it on MeTV (WBME) with a single commercial block about 2/3's of the way through added to the enjoyment.My only question -- did Americans of this era and class really speak with such mid-Atlantic accents? Everybody sounded like modern BBC announcers. It wasn't until Jim met Joan that characters began speaking in American accents.