What a waste of my time!!!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

How wonderful it is to see this fine actress carry a film and carry it so beautifully.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

Yes,Heavy Metal Massacre,a movie that's such a waste of time it took IMDb forever to get a listing. Another shot on crap-eo late 80s video film with a truly annoying lead actor that's a guy but looks like a reject from Motley Crue or other girlie hair bands. I have yet to see a film this bad where the lead acts larger than life going as far to show stills of him posing like he's some kind of heavy metal god when the music that's played makes the worst 80s metal look Led Zeppelinisque in comparison.Besides the actor who's totally full of himself,I couldn't keep count of how many times the camera lingered on a broken shot,or various scenes that repeat themselves.And the special effects are so not special.They look awful and seem to be designed to induce dizziness or nausea in the viewers by using techniques like strobing and bleeding screen colors into one another.They wanted to try something interesting with them but wind up causing more headaches from whoever can endure the sloppiness on display.Even as unwatchable and hideous this film is I couldn't move my eyes away from the train-wreck as it develops.I tried hard but to no avail.This is so terrible it defies description.The only reason I did a review is i'm sure no one else will make it past the first five minutes to do a review of the film and thought I could be some insight for those who wonder what they'll be getting into.I may have wanted to keep watching but i'm sure no other sane mind will want to bother.The 1 star is more than appropriate I think for this non film.