the audience applauded

An action-packed slog

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

As I sat down to watch "Hardrock Zombies", I didn't know what to expect. By its title I was assuming it was a Troma production… and it's not, but it wouldn't be out of place either. Really I don't know what I just watched. Crazy, stupid. Indeed. Amusing at times, but boy what the hell was going on? This cruddy low-cost, shot-on-video production is one noisy, twisted ("You can watch, but don't touch.") and strange horror / comedy that throws caution to wind, as if it was made on the spot adding details as they went along. Everything is chucked in from rock music, T&A, a nutty backwoods family (consisting of a werewolf, midgets, and psychotic nymph), unwelcoming hillbillies, zombies, Nazis and Adolf Hitler(!). It's terrible, but it has that feeling like it was aiming for that. By the end of it, what it feels like is one very long, spontaneously tripped-out music video clip with wild camera-work. Break out the jamming (you know rock ballads) and the pointless posing --- with many disjointed images edited in (a lady dancing around), but don't forget the story involving an up and coming rock band stopping by in a backwoods town to play and staying at the home of the beautifully strange girl they picked up. So you might be asking how do zombies come to be, well wait around for the halfway mark. This when the zombies show up (it's not quite as random as many of the ideas popping up) and from then it gets even sillier ("ghouls don't like heads"). You don't know how, but it just does. The production has tacky make-up on show, wooden performances, is shoddily written and is completely direction-less with its meandering pace."Hardrock Zombies" is inane rubbish, which you might find yourself digging through.

This film has it all! A pedophile romance, a switchblade wielding werewolf granny in a wheelchair, Hitler, zombie midgets, awesomely cheesy 80's tunes, nudity, and some of the worst acting and editing i've ever seen. This is one of those rare movies that's so bad it's good. It's offensive, bizarre, and just flat out hilarious (unintentionally, of course). If any of the aforementioned story elements intrigue you or if you're just into really low-budget 80's horror movies...then this might be worth checking out. Would make an awesome double feature with "rock and roll nightmare". The love ballad "Cassie" should be the theme song for all pedophiles.

Back in the 80's, when heavy metal music was king, movies containing ready-made music videos were a-dime-a-dozen. MTV was cool beyond all reason. And every exploitation film wanted to play to its base. Thus, the heavy metal horror film was born.In fact, it was( and still is) a whole sub-genre of horror films. The concept is simple. Combine the storyline of a horror film and a music video, making the group or the rock star himself, the heroes. Cast actual musicians( such as Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, Gene Simmons, or the low budget version, Jon-Mikel Thor) or hire actors with some musical talent( ala The Monkees) to play the leads and you have the makings of a version of this type of film. In fact movies from "Night Train to Terror" to "Blood Dolls" fall into this category. Which brings us to this film."Hard Rock Zombies" is a true incarnation of the eighties. From the "KISS"-like hard rock band( they even wear their style of makeup when they turn into zombies) to the teased hair to the muppet character, this has all the earmarks of an independent 80's film shot directly for video. The fake gore, the gratuitous nudity, the inept acting, you get it all in here. The plot, such as it is, is about a heavy metal band who agree to do a regional concert in the hopes of landing a major record deal. On the way there, they pick up a beautiful hitch-hiker, who convinces them to stay at her family's mansion while preparing for the concert. Needless to say, the family is a group of oddballs whose actions eventually lead us to the title in question.There are no real surprises in this plot. Nor is the characterization that deep. But , there is a certain amount of imagination at play here. For a movie that looks like it was made for all of $1.35 you get Nazis, she-wolves, muppets( I'm sorry, I love muppets), cannibalism, legendary Hollywood stars, and, of course, Phil Fondacaro, in a very early role. Unfortunately what you also get is lousy music, horrendous acting( with the exception of Mr. Fondacaro who seems to be having a great time) and some very amateurish work from behind the camera.( The technical gaffes are numerous.)Still the movie has more than a few genuine laughs and the director shows some surprising comic timing. This movie, in fact, has more intentional laughs than some of the comedies I have seen recently.( Note that I said "some".) And for all of the jokes that fail( and some do embarrassingly ), the ones that do work, work very well. The scenes involving the legendary Hollywood performers, in particular, should get a few guffaws from those who look with fondness upon classic movie and music stars, and the culture of the 80's in general. Also, there are some great one-liners interspersed throughout the movie. And the film has fun with it's monsters(even thought the make-up fx are noticeably cheap) and muppets.So, all in all, this movie isn't too bad. Sure, the acting, music, and make-up fx are lousy. But, the gore fx are better than what you might expect. The film has a fairly good sense of humor. And there is some genuine fun to be had here. Fans of cult cinema, or cinema of the absurd, should enjoy this, to a degree. As for the rest, well, you know what you're getting into. And if you don't like it, speak to the muppet.

If Orson Welles only had the talent he would have made Hard Rock Zombies, but he didn't. So these guys did. "Ghouls hate heads..." The plot of this movie is incomprehensible. The execution of the script is amateurish. It's quite possibly the stupidest movie of all time. And if you haven't seen it you're not alive. Get yourself some Milk Duds, some Schlitz, and HRZ, Troll 2, The Pit and have a grooviest bad movies of all time-athon. Umm, the music sounds OK, too, when you're really drunk. It's really kind of hard to say ten lines about Hard Rock Zombies. I just wanted to say it rocked I didn't want to be here all night trying to think of things to say about it.