Hello fellow alphas. Welcome to Geoffrey Asmus’ first stand-up comedy special, “The Only Funny White Man.” This is the first 100% alpha stand up comedy special ever released. Others have tried, but none have succeeded. Congratulations on witnessing history. The stand up comedy special was filmed in front of my parents in Minneapolis, the greatest city in America, at Sisyphus Brewery. I'm trying to type stand up comedy as much as I can for the almighty algorithm. In this stand-up comedy special I answer all of society’s pressing questions - Are dogs sexy? Do we need Democrats? Should abortions be mandatory? Can Lutherans enter into heaven? Why do people go ice fishing? And most importantly - Why are betas allowed to live?