This is How Movies Should Be Made

A Brilliant Conflict

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

Having witnessed the death of her father at the hands of a samurai by the name of "Hyo-e Kataguri" (Shigeru Kanai) a geisha named "Kotomi Yamabe" (Minami Tsukui) is determined to extract revenge upon him. As is so happens, although she has been trained in the arts of a geisha, when she was young she was also taught by her father the skills necessary for a samurai as well and armed with her father's katana she sets off on her quest to kill Hyo-e Kataguri. Unfortunately, once she finds him he manages to slip away and--alert to the knowledge that she is after him--he puts several obstacles in the form of ninjas, samurai and wizards to kill her before she can track him down again. To make matters even more complicated, there is a secret that she is unaware of and this also has an important impact upon her mission as well. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was an okay samurai film which basically consisted of plenty of swordplay and martial arts. So those who enjoy action for the sake of action should have few problems enjoying this movie. On the flip side, however, the plot was rather minimal so viewers shouldn't expect much depth or intricacy. It's an action movie from start to finish. Nothing more and nothing less. All things considered then I rate it as about average.

Geisha vs Ninjas, or Geisha Assassin as it's known outside of Japan and the USA, is a fresh, exciting example of how to make an exciting martial arts B Movie. It's fast paced, exciting, and it has a constant flow of action and quick progression from one sequence to another.It takes the martial arts B movie back to basics, assumes rightly that 90% of it's audience will be far less interested in authenticity than they are in seeing some exciting throwdowns, and provides a constant stream of exciting, energetic and refreshingly brutal fight scenes, with a simple but effective story briskly clipping along with them.There've been two main points made against the flick whenever I read it reviewed, both of which I think are accurate points but also kind of pedantic and moot.First is about martial arts authenticity. Martial arts geeks have been hasty to point out that the movie is preposterous and historically inaccurate. I'm going to tackle this head on. Geisha vs Ninjas is quite obviously coming from a comic book fantasy angle, and as someone who knows of and understands the principles of various martial arts but also knows that while the professional martial arts performed in a lot of recent movies is excellent and top notch, it makes for incredibly dull, grounded fight scenes. This movie is aimed at people who want to see a full on kicking of many butts like in the comics they read as a kid, not an expert display of dry martial skill like they see in a dojo. If you're going to get sniffy about whether a 5'2 girl can outfight a 6'1 monk with her bare hands or the fact that a ninja pulls down her mask to talk during a fight, you need to go buy Redbelt or Throwdown or something, this is not the movie for you. If you bought or rented a movie called Geisha vs Ninjas and expected authenticity, you are an idiot.Second is about the technical quality of the film. This is a very fair point. The film is shot on HD video, not film stock. It's directed by Go Ohara, who was responsible for action direction in Versus and the entirety of the direction of Death Trance. The visual of the movie is much like Versus, with it shot on cheap video, but with excellent direction and shot choice. Also pace is maintained throughout, with precious little time wasted or spent philosophising. If you dislike watching movies with very low production values, you'd be better off to watch Death Trance as that is a high budget film, funded by the Japanese/American Fever Dreams production company. The video stock and recording of the film is, in the slower sections, a little distracting. Most of the blacks are in fact low greys, and on my copy seemed to flicker somewhat. Also the frame rate of the movie doesn't seem quite right, with the non-fight sequences seemingly shot at a slower than natural frame rate. However, the counter-argument to this obvious but inobtrusive lack of funds and equipment is that where a lot of movies have tons of equipment and money but squander it, Geisha vs Ninjas is pushing the limits of what you can do with crappy gear and a few locations by making sure direction, action and concepts are in as high gear as humanly possible.So to summarise the film, yes, it is doubtlessly inaccurate to it's period, yes it is shot on very little money on cheap gear and it shows, but at the end of the day, if you stop looking for problems and concentrate on the actual movie, it's a rip-roaring, brutal, fight-centric revenge thriller with a great female lead, fantastic action direction and some great locations.

The title pretty much says it all: pretty geisha Kotomi (Minami Tsukui) seeks revenge for the murder of her father, but to get to the man responsible for his death she must first defeat a series of foes in mortal combat. That's about it for plot, the film consisting of wall to wall fighting between the young woman and a variety of opponents (including a ronin, several ninjas, a monk, a magic man and his dream demons, and a bow-and-arrow toting 'Indian' woman) before she finally gets to even the score with her dad's killer.Geisha Assassin is a low budget effort (from an undeniably enthusiastic group of film-makers) and has the distinctive look of having been shot on HD video rather than film; however, considering the relatively low production quality, the result is technically and visually impressive, with smart editing, considered direction, stylish lighting and cool choreography.And yet, despite all of these positive points, the film fails to be a wholly satisfying experience, the slight plot failing to fully engage the viewer, the action scenes generating very little in the way of genuine excitement thanks to a frustrating sameness of fighting styles and locales, and the finale proving to be the dullest part of the whole affair rather than the highlight. With a tad more fun injected into proceedings—some excessive gore, perhaps, or even more outrageous comic-book-style adversaries—this might have been a hugely enjoyable piece of action cinema. Instead, it's passable entertainment for the duration, but unlikely to make a lasting impression.5.5 out of 10, rounded up to 6 for IMDb.

The plot is simple enough. But being an avid fan of ninjas and samurai, I noticed too many mistakes in there.1. a female geisha would not remove her clogs to fight because there may be spikes on the ground.2. ninjas are not known to use katana because they are too long and become less effective in enclosed space. They usually carry a straight shorter blade call a ninjato.3. the bamboo blade the geisha was carrying isn't usually as thick or long as a katana. They are mostly used as a concealed weapon, thus length and width are limited.4. why did the female ninja keep pulling her mask off and putting it back on during the fight? The purpose of the mask is to minimize the exposed area that a light can shine on during an ambush or night op.The fighting is stylized and anime-like. It feels a bit weird at times, especially when the geisha was fighting with the monk.Oh... and the actress did not walk like a geisha. Totally unconvincing.