The Worst Film Ever

That was an excellent one.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

by Dane YoussefONCE-TIME "Kid-In-The-Hall "Bruce McCulloch has one good-as-gold nugget of an idea here. 'Cause speaking from personal first-hand experience, the dog park is one special, magical place. The true place for any dog, dog owner and dog lover.The dogs are given some amount of room to roam and socialize, good or bad. And so are their owners.And you know.... movies are filmed all the time in Canada, American movies even! For the sake of wide roaming space and less cost. There are Canadian movies... made in Canada. But so very, very few.... But... this does.Garofolo's pretty much just phones in the stock-type Garofolo role, knowledgeable about relationships and life with the usual sardonic wit. Except her usual genuine humor here is gone, thanks to her un-character and lines due to the "script" courtesy of McCulloch. She might have been better cast in the Lorna role. But no, Janeane has too much of a pulse.Bruce actually gives himself a substantial supporting role as the "his" of a pathologically married "His and Hers" couple with Garofolo. She still seems almost human, almost possible. She seems to persevere through this incompetence.He's always been a bad actor, but in skits, it's easier to forgive. And with this unfinished first draft of a script and monotone direction, all the actors more or less sink. These actors can act. But his movie manages to convince you they can't. So Bruce's horrible thespian attempts fit right in.Every ounce of blame goes to the man who half-conceived this big ball of half-considered, unfunny awkwardness-- McCulloch. The characters, duller than dullest. Nearly every single line of dialogue and scene feels awkward and mishandled.Not one person in this whole damn thing... comes off as believable. Or really all that insightful.All throughout, McCulloch seems to lack the ability to write a decent romantic scene, a full-fledged written character or a line of dialouge that hears well. When it comes to writing personally, he should well- stick to skits. Or maybe just checks--if any of them are any good. Better than this."Dog Park" has no mood. Every scene is badly staged. It was so bad, I damn near expected this thing to have a laugh track.While many of these types exist out there in the world (the sad-sack jilted lover, the cynical sage advisors, the seemingly perfect couple, the superficial couple, the weird oddball, the nypho and the love-scorn pessimist), the movie takes these stock-types and injects no humanity into them whatsoever. No one feels authentic, or even interesting.Other Canadian folk like Harland Williams nothing special and especially awful. He plays the Neo-weirdo Lorna goes out with after she reaches that point when a woman gets so lonely and dying from cabin-fever, she rushes to go out with the first guy she sees. But after the date... he calls her back with a message she desperately, desperately needs.But yes, Bruce and co. I agree wholly that Andy 'n' Lorna are made for each one another. These two, so boring--without any personality or interest--that you'd have to go the morgue to find people who are less alive. These two were made for each other. Two big empty non-existent zeroes.Over the years, McCulloch has developed one tin cauliflower ear for dialogue. As been said by pretty much every other on the planet who saw this, the only performance, character and scene of fellow "Kids In The Hall" brethren Mark McKinney as Dr. Cavan, an insightful and bizarre dog psychiatrist. There's just not much about the movie overall. Just no real effort. No special insights about dating, relationships, nature--human or canine. No interesting people, philosophies about relationships or anything resembling a good movie-going experience.Now if you'll excuse me, as I write this, it's 7:30 on the dot. The dogs are at the door, with Christmas morning anticipation. Tails wagging, eyes fixated on the door. It's time for our evening constitutional, the high point of our day. As dog owners know, the local dog park is a treat. They're like late-night singles night clubs up in the city after hours. Anything goes, and often does...--A Long-Time, Long-Term, Life-Long Dog-Lover, Dane Youssef

This movie was a bunch of nothingness. I am so glad I only rented it! One of the reasons I did rent it was because Michael Mcmans had a tiny part in it as a waiter(with a fake beard?). Still bad. C+ all around, and thats being nice!

Cute movie, but you'll forget about it as soon as it's over. Good to rent if it's raining outside or if your dogs need entertainment, but otherwise... On a more positive note, I think that Harland Williams as the weird date was just perfect! :)

"Dog Park" is a lukewarm, enjoyable, and critically condemned contemporary romantic comedy which is low on romance, has a quirky "Kids in the Hall" sense of humor (for obvious reasons), and spends most of its time looking at the foibles of relationships. An so-so watch for channel surfers in the mood some light off-the-wall comedy.