Such a frustrating disappointment

Sick Product of a Sick System

Just what I expected

I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

The last of the four Confessions films is about Timmy and Sid running a holiday camp, basically a summer camp for the whole family. If you've seen any or all of the previous films in this series, you'll get just what you expect: General silliness, dumb gags and nudity at the drop of a hat. There was a British show called Hi-De-Hi which was also set in a holiday camp, but that show had polish and well developed characters, while this film is just an excuse for sexual antics. That in and of itself is not bad, but the film doesn't try very hard to be anything but a sex comedy. I'm sure the film maker wasn't looking to make a masterpiece but I just found this so-so at best. Mostly for lovers of the sex comedy genre and for anyone who feels nostalgic about the film.

Back in 1977 I informed my equally horny schoolmates that I was going to bus from our small town to the Big City of Christchurch to see a 'Confessions' movie. When I got back, I couldn't even remember what the women looked like to describe to the guys. That is because the movie was about as funny and/or arousing as afternoon tea with your maiden auntie. Your elderly, extremely unattractive maiden auntie, that is. The 'Confessions' movies were never top-of-the-line entertainment, but this (thankfully) final entry in the notoriously cheap, nasty smut-smeared franchise manages to be genuinely appalling, even when compared to the others. It was actually boring to me as a fourteen-year-old, and with so many naked bodies on screen, that took some doing. Nowadays 'Holiday Camp' makes a far better sociological artifact than it does a cinematic experience, and then only if you're prepared to plumb the depths.

Confessions From a Holiday Camp, the fourth and final film to star Robin Askwith as working class lothario Timmy Lea, fails spectacularly as a comedy, the unsophisticated script resorting to embarrassing racist remarks, crass homophobic jokes, and childish slapstick in a desperate attempt to illicit giggles from its audience.'So, if it's not all that funny, then why have you rated it so highly?' I hear you ask. The answer: the endless quality British crumpet, of course. The plot, which sees Timmy organising a beauty contest at Camp Funfrall, allows for plenty of bare breasts, some shapely female derrieres, and more bush than Hampton Court Maze. Not only does the lovely Linda Hayden, star of the first Confessions film, return to play foxy French holiday host Brigitte, but we also get sexy brunette Caroline Ellis as yummy Brummie Gladys, Kim Hardy as the camp's tasty announcer, Nicola Blackman as Blackbird, the camp's curvacous Caribbean queen (and, sadly, the brunt of the racist jokes), and busty Janet Edis as a horny MILF.Unfortunately, there's also rather a lot of Robin Askwith's hairy ass on display, but you can't win 'em all I suppose.

Having failed dismally with their driving school, Sid Noggett ( Tony Booth ) and Timmy Lea ( Robin Askwith ) head off to Funfrall Holiday Camp, a paradise where the possibilities for sex are limitless. The only thing missing is the weather. But then their fun is stymied by the arrival of new manager Whitemonk ( John Junkin ), a former prison governor. He wants to impose militaristic discipline on the staff. Noggett proposes a beauty contest.The Lea family turn up en masse and begin causing trouble, in particular Dad ( Bill Maynard ) who gets involved in an ongoing dispute with the father of a cheeky kid ( Nicholas Owen, 'Tristan' from 'George & Mildred' ).Timmy's numerous sexual exploits become increasingly public, leading the manager to conclude there is a mad streaker on the loose.Against Sid's wishes, Rosie enters the beauty contest. But when the kid chucks a cream pie at a contestant, all hell breaks loose... I used to work in a holiday camp ( as a chef ) so know how accurate a lot of this film is. Some of the things I saw would make even Timmy blush! It is the usual slap and tickle, enlivened by guest appearances from John Junkin, Colin Crompton ( from 'The Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club' ) and Lance Percival ( whose role of 'Lionel' seems to have been written for Kenneth Williams! ). The formula was looking a bit tired by this time; this entry closely resembles 'Holiday On The Buses', while the finale was obviously inspired by that of 'Carry On Girls' ( both 1973 ). Liz Fraser and Linda Hayden, both of whom featured in earlier 'Confessions' pictures, return as different characters. Sue Upton ( later to be one of Benny Hill's 'Angels' ) and Caroline Ellis are particularly good as a pair of giggling Brummie girls called 'Glad' and 'Reen'. Shame about Timmy's racist remarks to 'Blackbird' ( Nicola Blackman ) though. Top marks to the cast for throwing themselves into the piece with abandon. It could not have been easy being filmed in bikinis and swimming trunks in March. Funniest moment? Whitemonk complaining to Sid about the streaker, while behind him a naked Timmy thrashes about in a pool.'Confessions Of A Plumber's Mate' was planned next, but Columbia unexpectedly shut down film production in the U.K., and it went unmade, though Stanley A. Long cheekily put into production the not-dissimilar sounding 'Adventures Of A Plumber's Mate'. That too was the last of its line. British audiences were beginning to be more interested by American comedies such as 'National Lampoon's Animal House' and '10'. I hope no-one tries to revive 'Confessions'; like the 'Carry On' films, they were of their time. Naughty but nice!