Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

Blistering performances.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

Cellular is an entertaining fast-paced thriller. The plot is about "Ryan Ackerman" (Chris Evans) who gets a phone call from a complete stranger "Jessica Martin" (Kim Basinger) she is very distressed and tells him that she has been kidnapped and that she has been clicking wires together, he doesn't believe her, but he still decides to go to the police to help her, there's commotion at the police station and he is told to take the phone call upstairs to another cop, "Ryan" then hears the bad guy "Ethan" (Jason Statham) over the phone threaten "Jessica", "Ryan" then believes her 100% and goes out of his way to help her.The performances are perfect and there's a tiny bit of humour mainly from an arrogant lawyer (played by Rick Hoffman, his character actually doesn't have a name). The only thing wrong with this film is the swearing, the words "Holy S*it" are used a lot and there's no need for it, Larry Cohen and Chris Morgan should have calmed down with those curse words when writing the story and screenplay (movies are not realistic, so why not go one step further and ban swearing from movies altogether?! and use milder words like "Oh, Snap" instead?!)Apart from the swear words, Cellular is brilliant. It is compared to "Phone Booth" (which has even more swearing, that movie has so much swearing that it actually ruined the film).There probably will not be any future movies similar to Cellular due to cellphones changing dramatically over the years, there's many ways to call for help via cellphones nowadays, a plot like Cellular probably wouldn't be even halfway plausible anymore.

Thank you paulsandberg from United States and Anthony Dunn from Denver, Colorado. Reading the first few reviews of this film made me think I'd been watching a different "Cellular" movie.But no, I was right. This really WAS such a bad movie and all the previous and ridiculous reviews praising it and saying how wonderful and exciting it was were clearly written by friends / partners / husbands / wives / (you get the idea) of the producers / director / cleaner (you get the idea), etc.I could only stand it for 25 minutes and gave up when he "got cut off by a bus".I liked the way all the girls at the beach were about 18 to 25, single, perfect bodies, without any guys, totally available and ready to talk to anyone. I mean, this is so much like real life.And when he jumped in his car, parked right there on the beach road, where no one else wanted to park... so much like real life.Just don't waste your time on this nonsense.

In the opening scenes of this thriller a group of heavies break into Jessica Martin's house, shoot the maid then kidnap her. They take her to another location and lock her in a room, the group's leader smashes the wall mounted telephone with a sledgehammer. They demand that she gives them what they are after but she has no idea what they are talking about. Jessica then tries desperately to get a connection with the shattered phone; eventually she connects to Ryan, a total stranger, who understandably believes it is a hoax but eventually agrees to take the cell phone to the police. He gives the basics of the story to desk sergeant Mooney before he is called away. Mooney tells him to take his report to homicide but before he can he hears the kidnappers threatening Jessica; now he knows in is no hoax; they threaten to harm her son so once alone again she asks Ryan to get to his school first. He is just too late and gives chase. What follows is a series of events that involve Ryan trying desperately to keep Jessica on the line as first the battery nearly dies then he gets a crossed line with another cell phone user. Each time it looks as if he is getting somewhere the bad guys are just a step ahead until Ryan gets his hands on what they were after. Meanwhile Sgt Mooney decides to follow up the kidnapping report and makes a shocking discovery about the kidnappers.If you are looking for serious drama then you are in for a disappointment but if you just want to put your brain in neutral for ninety minutes you could do a lot worse than this. The action starts in dramatic style and barely lets up until the closing credits begin. The plot is pretty far-fetched so requires a good ability to suspend ones disbelief… what are the odds that a random connection would link to a cell phone that happened to be in the same city as you?! That is just the first unlikely event… thankfully before one has much time to worry about it the action begins; this is pretty exciting and at times genuinely tense. There is also a fair amount of unforced humour; the best of this when Ryan steels a lawyer's shiny blue Porsche… twice! The cast does a solid enough job; Chris Evans is likable as the apparently unreliable Ryan, Kim Basinger does a decent job as Jessica, William H. Macy is good in the role of Sgt Mooney and Jason Statham is suitably menacing as the main villain of the story. There is a nice twist involving the identity and motivation of the kidnappers that I won't spoil even though it doesn't come all that late in the film. Overall I'd certainly recommend this to anybody wanting a not-too-serious action film; it was definitely better than I'd expected.

It's rare when I movie is so bad that I don't watch the entire thing. I realize there has to be some level of stupidity on the part of some characters to make a situation last long enough to be a movie rather than a clip. However the first twenty minutes of Cellular proved that not only were all the characters stupid in behavior, the acting was horrible, there were way too many convenient consequences for the character Ryan, and too many unbelievable situations (anyone in southern California will tell you how rare it is to find a parking spot right in front of every building you go to!) Although I didn't watch the entire movie I seriously doubt if it could have morphed into something remotely enjoyable or entertaining in it's last 75 minutes. I do believe it would be a perfect choice for the peanut gallery wisecracks of MST 3000.