Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

Recently I watched CARIBBEAN, a 1952 Paramount production starring John Payne. It's on Amazon Prime. Not sure what I expected, but it was much better than a Technicolor swashbuckler/melodrama almost has any right to be. The performances were very good. John Payne is a handsome, dependable lead across a variety of genres but we usually don't think of him in the way that we think of Brando or other much-lauded actors. Yet he does some of his best work here, giving a very honest, sensitive and touching portrayal of a prisoner caught between two madmen waging war on an unnamed Caribbean island. What makes the story even more interesting is that Payne's character falls for a young woman who is the daughter of both men. Yes, that's what I said. Watch the film and you'll see what I mean.The female lead is played by Arlene Dahl, and she gives what I think is her best performance in any film. She's beautiful, feisty and vulnerable. At the end, she is caught in a scene of domestic violence and the story ends without her knowing the truth about her two fathers. Most actresses would have a tough time with this sort of story, but she excels.Back to the two dads for a minute. One of them is played by Cedric Hardwicke. He did a variety of roles in his long stage and screen career. So he comes to CARIBBEAN with vast amounts of experience. He easily could chew the scenery with the type of part he's playing here, but he keeps it all very dignified. He takes what is basically a cold-blooded killer and makes us sympathize with him. I have never liked a villain so much in a movie as I did with him here. That's a testament to Hardwicke's gifts as a dramatic interpreter of this material. The other paternal figure in the story is portrayed by robust Francis L. Sullivan. He could have turned his character into a cartoonish nincompoop, but he infuses just the right amount of edginess and civility. Even when he is ordering two prisoners to fight each other to the death with knives before a crowd of spectators, as if it were an everyday event (maybe it was for him). The film has quite a number of things going for it. The direction is precise throughout, the Technicolor visuals are well photographed and there is a great subplot involving the slaves on the island that seems very much ahead of its time.

However grim the subject (in this case, the slave trade), a little sense of humor can take off the edge. Unfortunately, "Caribbean" doesn't offer that much needed sense of humor. John Payne makes a surprisingly bland hero, much in contrast to his wonderful turn in Tripoli. Arlene Dahl, gorgeously decorative, really hokes this one up. One can only imagine what Maureen O'Hara or Rhonda could have done with the part. Even the key supporting players fail to impress, with the exception of the extraordinary Cedric Hardwicke, and actor who probably never gave a bad role. One could only imagine how could "Caribbean" could have been with everyone else performing to Hardwicke's fine standards.The script is episodic and badly paced. The duologue is so forgettable, it might as well have been a silent movie with "matinee cards". Nonetheless, one cannot help but marvel at the gorgeous production values of this superb use of Technicolor, miniatures and costumes. In fact, the beast way to see "Caribbean" is silent, with some really good orchestral music off YouTube. The plot is so predictable and obvious, you wouldn't miss the duologue and you would be spared a musical score more appropriate for a 20s silent film. You'd also miss repeated use of the "N" word, which has become so derogatory, schools have tried to censor it from Mark Twain. Nonetheless, on the strength of Hardwicke's performance and aforementioned production values, I give "Caribbean" a "6".

Pirate Sir Cedrick Hardwick is seeking revenge on fatso who ruined him and took his young daughter 21 years ago so he outfits John Payne to impersonate fatso's nephew and ingratiate himself with him so Hardwick can invade his island fortress and run him through and reclaim his daughter, the feisty redhead Arlene Dahl. Payne does so and in the meantime Dahl falls for him even tho she knows him to be her first cousin. Oh well, its the days of yore and what the heck, first cousin or no, she's got the hots. The native slaves on the island are in an uproar as well, so Payne helps them to revolt, Harwick lands and does in fatso but then Dahl does in Hardwick; she doesn't know Hardwick is her real father and Hardwick makes Payne promise to never tell her and so Dahl and Payne walk off into THE END. This movie has terrible direction and even worse editing, but it is in living Technicolor and fatso has great duds so its OK. And it's not really a high seas pirate movie, it's more like a soapy drama taking place during pirate times with pirate ships and cannons and rubber swords.

This movie also leaves a lot of loose ends. It's hard to believe that Arlene Dahl would fall so quickly for John Payne. Also, Payne's former life is quickly forgotten. This movie must have been made for kids because it was preposterous to this adult. Payne is a serviceable actor but he doesn't have the charisma for this kind of role. He is rather solemn-faced and this role demands a little more levity. Forget this and look for an Errol Flynn movie instead.