Memorable, crazy movie

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

The old t.v. show had its undeniable quirky charm. this should be self evident, otherwise a 2 season sitcom from 1961-63 would have been long forgotten, and no studio would have thrown a 1990's budget at so weak a concept as to make a movie of an obscure t.v. relic. But the people behind the film had no concept of what made this show stick in peoples' craw, and that was the ridiculous innocence and banality of the crimes that mediocre good guys Toody, Muldoon, etc. encountered and dealt with in the big, bad city of New York on an episode by episode basis. Making Muldoon a crusader, rather than an equally bumbling ineffectual creature like Gunther Toody obliterates the charm of the sitcom. The whole idea of anyone from the squad actually approaching a ":real" or "serious" crime kills the whole premise of "Car 54 Where are You?" This is a relic of a sheltered and surreally unrealistic time, and this attempt to have one foot in this world and another in the semi post-repression non reality of contemporary aesthetics just doesn't cut it. Besides that, this is a bad mess of a movie on all standards.

I have no clue why I watched this piece of crap when I was little, but now as an adult there's no fun. It's too painful to watch. There's a theory that certain TV shows that turn into the big screens work out while some just fall right down the crapper. "Car 54, Where are You?" is one of those movies.Plot: Gunther Toody takes in a new partner, the uptight Muldoon, while protecting local idiot Herbert Hortz.There's too many performers to list who are a waste of talent from David Johansen (no relation to Scarlett), John C. McGinley (TV's "Scrubs"), Fran Drescher ("The Nanny"), Daniel Baldwin (Vampires), Jeremy Piven ("Entourage", Black Hawk Down), Nipsey Russell, Rosie O'Donnell, Al Lewis ("The Munsters") and more.Oh, the humanity.

As the movie opens, Officer Toody is part of a silly musical number. It turns out he is dreaming while he sleeps in Car 54 in the middle of a riot. He and his partner (Al Lewis) return to the 53rd precinct after the familiar call. It is a wild ride full of physical comedy. Unfortunately, Lewis' character is retiring, which is a shame because he is one of the few actors giving a performance worth seeing. Muldoon, his by-the-book replacement, has been trained in new law enforcement techniques referred to as MADCOPP, which he tries to teach the other officers. Muldoon shoots at a man who stole a sandwich and tickets a blind man with a dog for jaywalking.The 53rd is assigned to protect Herbert Hortz, a witness who is testifying against claustrophobic mobster Don Motti. Motti hires hit men who, fortunately, turn out to be incompetent (otherwise, this movie would be over quickly).If any performances in this movie can be described as worthwhile, they would be Fran Drescher as a girl Toody introduces Muldoon to, and Nipsey Russell as the captain. And maybe Daniel Baldwin as Motti. As for David Johansen (Toody), I found him very annoying, mainly because his tough-sounding voice didn't work. Later in the movie, though, his performance improved. John McGinley (Muldoon) wasn't particularly likeable.Some highlights for me that are not spoilers: Hortz performs with a pair of rappers, an all-too-short jazz performance at the Blue Note, Tone Loc's brief appearance as a carriage driver, Toody getting snagged on a hospital patient's catheter, Lewis watching himself on 'The Munsters'.Once I got used to it, I actually found myself enjoying the movie. The second half actually seemed pretty good.Some highlights for me that would likely be called SPOILERS:Lewis falls down stairs at his retirement party; Muldoon's own musical number (he was pretty talented) which also ends up being a dream; Toody's 1961 Plymouth getting stolen after Toody forgot Hortz was in the trunk, and especially Toody's attempt to go undercover as a hit man in a purple suit.

Oh my god! This has to be the worst f-----ing movie I've ever seen! I saw this when I was 10 years old and this gave me a stomache ache.... honestly! I'm not kidding. That's how bad it is. Serious. I'm a fan of John C. McGinley, but what the hell was he thinking?! Aaaah! This movie forever tarnished my image of Rosie O Donnell. I mean, she's obnoxious enough without watching this movie! Ech! AAh! I think this is the worst movie ever made!