Touches You

Simply Perfect

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

This is one of the first mockumentary movie I saw when I was a Teenager at a time when I was very interested in the American Civil War. The idea of a parallel reality was very new to me at the time so when I watched this film in early 2010 I very quickly became interested in the concept of an alternative reality in what would later become a genreknown as "Alternative history" and C.S.A: The Confederate States of America was the Spear of what captivated me into that genre. However, as I got older and started to look into the film in great detail I realize that the film has too many factual, historical and some global errors. The one that stands out the most is the Confederate takeover of the United States. At no point in the Civil war did the South wanted to conquer the United States and replace it with the Confederate States. The American Civil war was a war of Secession, the south wanted to become Independent from the union due to the north's abolishment of slavery in 1861 which was a source of income for many southern states. Even if the South did subjugate the North it wouldn't hold it for very long. The North hated the Confederacy believing them as traitors to the people who fought and died in the American Revolution, if the Confederates somehow annexed the union the northerners at some point or another would have rebelled against the CSA and reclaim the union. The Movie focuses mostly on slavery which probably wouldn't have lasted as long as this movie predicted and show us a divergent reality in where the CSA has taken over the USA as well as Central and south Americas. The film tells how the Confederates won the Civil War (which ended in 1864 in this timeline) and how they brought slavery back to the North. In this timeline Abraham Lincoln never published the Emancipation Proclamation and thus the Confederacy gain support from Britain and France. By the end of 1863 the Confederacy successfully advances into the Union strongholds winning battle after battle. After a few months a defeated and broken United States eventually surrendered and was force to join the CSA due to their costly defeat. By the end of the War the United State Ceased to Exist and the Confederate Battle flag (not the national flag of the Confederacy) becomes the National flag of America. Towards the end of the 19th Century and the end of the Reconstruction of the North the Confederates begins their expansion into Latin America as well as the Caribbean, enslaving local Blacks in the Caribbean and creating a Racial Segregation System in Mexico and Central America. By the 1920's the Confederates successfully annexed all of the South Americas by divide and conquer. However this put the CSA in a financial derp causing the Great Depression in the 1930's (similar to our timeline). In 1933 the German Nazi Party seized power which makes no sense whatsoever since there was no mention of Confederate aid to Britain and France during the First World War and also the fact that the Confederates were at war with South America.Although the CSA and Nazi Germany are neutral and maintain a friendly relationship with each other, the CSA decides to go to war with Germany's ally Japan in fear of Japanese expansionism in the Pacific. The Confederates Defeated the Japanese after Launching a Nuclear attack on Japan, and also enslaving the Japanese civilians, not long after Nazi Germany is also somehow defeated and falls to the Russian and British. Years later a Proxy War starts between the CSA and Canada which continued past the 21st century. During the 1950's the CSA build a concrete wall called the "Cotton Curtain" across the Canadian Border whilst an international embargo on the CSA takes place, South Africa becomes the only country to maintain diplomatic relations with America. By the start of the 21st Century the Confederates invade the Middle East in a Moral Crusade to eliminate Islam by converting the populace to Christianity whilst simultaneously taking over Oil productions. Along with the ludicrous back story on how the Confederates came to be, there is also a side story about John Ambrose Fauntroy's presidential election campaign. However his Character seems somewhat pointless and the twist ended in which it is revealed that his great grandfather (John Ambrose Fauntroy the first) and his servant's great grandmother had sex, just went nowhere for me.The movie barely uses any historical facts other than the Confederates plans to invade South America which was plan during the Civil war, there is also no mentions on the Second Mexican Empire which was established in 1864 nor is there any mentions of what happen to that regime. The CSA's History is too much like the US's history, things like the Great Depression, America's war in the Middle East, the Cold war (though with Canada instead of the Soviet Union), The Political unrest of the 1960's and the Vietnam War (again makes no sense in this timeline) is way too identical to our timeline that it makes the history kind of boring. Realistically had the CSA seceded from the US it wouldn't just have affected the Americas but the world. Example of this would be Mexico be rule by a Monarchy, Europe becoming the dominant power of the world, The United States remaining Socialist, Russia not becoming Communist and so on. To be honest, there are way better stories that tell us what would have happened if the Confederates won the war. Harry Turtledove's Southern Victory series is by far the best one, since it shows the Confederates in a divergent history in a more realistic scenario, unlike this film which seems that the people who made it knows absolutely nothing about Confederates.

He produced this one, but it's filled with his touch: 'CSA' is graced with all the subtlety and intelligence of a surly chimp squatting in a mud puddle. At some point, satire must be based on something like reality. So the South takes over and REQUIRES everyone in the country own slaves? Things are gonna get crowded for all them po' folk in Manhattan studios and one-bedrooms. This isn't satire; it's malicious propaganda by a lackluster filmmaker elevated to star status not because of his artistry or even popularity, but because his vision matches the stagnant 'progressive' worldview so beloved by corrupt, creatively arid Hollywood. Do yourself a favor and pass on this. We've been told that ANYTHING bashing white people is "brilliant" and "insightful". Buy into that crock, and you'll looove this charmless garbage.

What shocks me, is that many people who've seen CSA, and, have found it 'offensive,' don't know that the man who created this (Kevin Willmott) happens to be black.If you read the opening quote from George Bernard Shaw('If you're going to tel people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you'), then, you'll understand, that Mr.Willmott grasped this, when he crafted this picture.In the past decade, or so, we've had a horrible injustice done - a 'hypersensitivity,'(called 'politically correct) that has made any REAL discussions almost taboo.Mr. Willmott ISN'T afraid to show this alternate history, and, he understands that the common language is humor.The sad thing, is that, some people who've watched this (and, many did not know Mr Willmott's ethnicity),thought it was some 'horrid' film made by whites, and, didn't understand what Mr. Willmott was trying to show - instead, only viewing it FOR the caricature that it is.I give Mr. Willmott MUCH credit, for making this film.

CSA is a "historical documentary" interspersed with TV commercials. Pretty pathetic movie, actually. I didn't finish watching it because the people who made it were too lazy to study history and interpolate future events from the WORLD of 1863. There are humorous episodes, but the history isn't there. For instance, a win for the south wouldn't have prevented war in Europe; without US intervention the Kaiser would've been in charge of Germany in 1932, etc. C'mon- a BERLIN WALL stretching from sea to shining sea? They didn't come up with ANYTHING original. If they had simply made a comedy or drama that portrayed a 21st century CSA, that might have been really interesting.