It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

Before special effects wizard and triple Academy Award winner Carlo Rambaldi worked on Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Alien, Dune and E.T., he created not only the legendary size-doesn't-matter giant spider, but also the Lover of Death rag doll and the Tittie-Slice Rotating System for Massimo Pupillo's Bloody Pit of Horror. When Jayne Mansfield's ex-hubby Mickey Hargitay ("Mr. Universe 1958") heard that Fellini cinematographer Luciano Trasatti (I Vitelloni) was on board as well, he happily signed the 1000-Lire-contract to star as The Crimson Executioner, a saucy blend of Batman's Robin, Bertie Bizarro and the Muscle Beach Molester. Though credited to the influence of the Marquis de Sade, the script much more obviously refers to Octave Mirbeau's pre-surreal torture classic Le Jardin des supplices – a highly inventive, stranger-than-fiction dungeon purification wackorama with Hargitay in the role of his life: "The Executioner will torture you ... to death." Probably for a reason: Two years before, Jayne had booted him out of The Pink Palace, their Beverly Hills mansion with the famous heart-shaped pool. He, former plumber Mickey Hargitay, had built it himself, and that's why the Torture of Icy Water has the master touch. Got the subtext? Spell it out, not too loud: This is catharsis.

A photographer, his models, and several other guys go to an old castle for a photo shoot. The group wind up being terrorized by insane castle owner Travis Anderson (a gloriously crazed portrayal by Mickey Hargitay), a vicious psychotic madman who thinks he's the reincarnation of a legendary depraved 17th century executioner. Director Massimo Pupillo, working from a blithely twisted script by Romano Migliorini and Roberto Natale, makes excellent use of the fantastic crumbling castle location, delivers a handy helping of raw misogynistic violence, and milks the racy and blatant elements of sadism, narcissism, and especially homo-eroticism for maximum deliciously decadent seedy thrills. Moreover, this picture greatly benefits from a bevy of beautiful ladies: Luisa Baratto as the sweet Edith, Barbara Nelli as the bitchy Suzy, Rita Klein as the ditsy Nancy, Moa Tahi as the lovely Kinojo, and the ever-enticing Femi Benussi as the fetching Annie. Walter Brandi makes for a likable, if ineffectual hero as the bumbling Rick. Luciano Trasatti's vibrant color cinematography gives the movie an eye-popping garish look. Gino Peguri's groovy swinging score hits the funky bopping spot. However, it's Hargitay's sublimely ripe, unrestrained, and over-the-top histrionic acting as the raving wacko that provides the majority of the infectiously campy and warped entertainment. A total kitschy blast.

Surely nobody goes into this laughable cheese-fest expecting to see a quality horror film. Even by Italian standards - Bava and Argento excepted - this is utter nonsense. The horror part is well, what horror part? The plot is utterly predictable, no surprises there. The dialog is just as predictable. As for the scenery we are treated to some spectacular vistas (they caught my wife's fancy long enough to pause in passing and in her determination to avoid taking part in my passion for horrible films) and the castle where the action takes place is really cool! So what else is there to recommend this? It's all about perfect bodies, a good number of them, enough to keep members of both sexes entertained. Mickey Hargitay who plays our villain has, as he so proudly informs the audience often enough, THE perfect body. He puts the rest of us puny males to shame with the utter certainty that no matter how hard we try we'll never reach that level of physical beauty. On the other side of the gender barrier the women are equally gorgeous. They are all curvaceous, luscious, mouth-watering eye candy to awaken the man-beast in every male out there. Bear in mind there is no real nudity. The closest we get to risqué scenes is just the hint of the top part of nipples. Otherwise it's all designed to tantalize the male spectator with the prospect of revealing the hidden parts without doing so. How delicious! Well, perhaps not for recently pubescent and inexperienced teens. For them it might be too frustrating.One final point. The hero is the exact opposite of our gorgeous villain. A Joe Pesci look-alike, he's not exactly my idea of a hero and he in fact gets beat up pretty regularly until he finally prevails with strategic karate chops. Makes you wonder why he doesn't use them before he gets punched out within an inch of his life, but I digress. The heroine is clearly above his league in the looks department but also not as sexy or exotic as any one of the other four women. So I'm not sure but maybe the producers were trying to insert a moral about looks and death but who knows? Any way you look at it this movie will keep you chuckling and salivating neither of which is a bad thing.

It's really hard to score THE CRIMSON EXECUTIONER. On one hand, it's a horribly made little film that is embarrassingly bad. On the other, it's so terribly funny because it is so bad! The film begins with some really obnoxious people breaking into an old castle to take some publicity pictures. However, it turns out the place is NOT unoccupied and the crazy owner tells them to get lost. Oddly, however just moments later he asks them to stay. So, they do and over the course of an evening, the crew members and models are killed off one at a time by the crazy homeowner--who thinks he's the reincarnation of a sicko named the Crimson Executioner. Actually, the guy's outfit makes him look a lot like Diabolik from another Mario Bava film, but that's neither here nor there.The film is filled with lots of sadistic torture and is reminiscent of the German film, THE TORTURE CHAMBER OF DR. SADISM (talk about a great title). However, unlike the German film, this one is much sillier and the horrible punishments really don't look all that realistic--just cheesy. But, because it is made so poorly (with horrible dialog and action throughout), it is worth seeing to have a few laughs. Otherwise, if you do skip it, your brain might appreciate it!