Your blood may run cold, but you now find yourself pinioned to the story.

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

What I liked about the film "Beautiful Creatures" is that the lead female characters, Petula and Dorothy, are not strong women initially. They have allowed themselves to be dominated by physically, mentally and sexually abusive men. Neither seem to be capable of helping themselves out of these relationships. But, ironically, they each have the ability to help the other. And in helping each-other, they find the strength that had been beaten out of them. Even though the film addresses a serious subject, I found it to be very funny without making light of the domestic abuse issue. Susan Lynch is terrific as Dorothy, the fed-up heroine who comes to the aid of a stranger and finds herself facing murder charges. And "Mummy" fans will hardly recognize Rachel Weisz from her most familiar role as "Evie." Weisz is proving herself to be one of the most versatile actors making films today. There is an uninhibited quality about her performances that make every character she takes on totally believable.Beautiful Creatures was real fun to watch. It won't really change your outlook on life but will make you happier with the one you have. The plot is ridiculous, the coincidence make you feel like buying a lottery ticket, but it gets you involved. It moves on a pace and the humor is very non-PC but the naughtiness makes it more enjoyable. Susan Lynch and Rachael Weisz are superb actresses and seemed to enjoy the filming and this comes over. It is, however, morally corrupt but that is part of the fun once you switch your morals and brain off (don't try this at home).Overall rating: 8 out of 10.

Beautiful Creatures is one of those British crime dramas. You know the ones I'm talking about. Snatch, Layer Cake, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, etc.. Movies that sill hold to the pretense that criminals are smart and sexy and fun to be around. I'm not entirely sure why British crime movies can still get away with that stuff, while American crime dramas seem to have become overwhelmed by the reality that almost all criminals are stupid, unattractive and massively screwed up. Maybe it's the accents. Anyway, Beautiful Creatures tells the story of Petula (Rachel Weisz) and Dorothy (Susan Lynch), two women brought together by fate who try to navigate their way through murder, lies, betrayal and happenstance. The story starts with Dorothy getting her apartment trashed by her abusive boyfriend. She takes her dog Pluto out to grab a bus and Pluto runs away. Dorothy follows to find Petula getting beaten by her boyfriend. Dorothy clunks him in the head with a 15 foot long metal pipe and knocks him out. They take him back to Dorothy's apartment because Petula won't leave him in the street. But back in the apartment, the guy ends up dying. It turns out, he was the little brother of Petula's boss, one of those tough as nails, criminal kingpins that populate British crime dramas. He owns a large business but everyone knows he's really a vicious killer and even the cops do him favors. Petula and Dorothy first try to dump the body and when that doesn't work out, they concoct a kidnapping scam to try and get enough money to get away from evil big brother. That brings in a detective inspector who wants a cut of the action and the return of Dorothy's abusive boyfriend, leading to one of those everybody-rushes-to-the-same-place-and-almost-everybody-ends-up-dead sort of endings. Except for a strange, 5 minute stretch when it morphs into a stalker movie, Beautiful Creatures is a fine movie that sets itself above other British crime dramas in two ways. 1. No one's really that smart. These films usually involve people crafting brilliant, intricate plans that go wrong in complicated ways. This film involves people coming up with desperate plans by the seat of their pants that go wrong because they weren't that well thought out to begin with. 2. It lets its two female leads be normal woman. Female protagonists in crime dramas either start out or evolve into cunning, hard assed rogues who are just as tough and deceitful as any man, usually more so. But Weiz and Lynch are allowed to play characters who are physically weaker than men, who aren't as cruel and violent as the cops or the crooks around them. These are two women in horrible situations, who come together to help each other out and succeed as much by luck as anything else. One of the other notable things about Beautiful Creatures is that it is probably the film where Rachel Weisz is the most attractive and sexy she's ever been and ever will be in a movie. She's also a platinum blonde, if that trips your trigger. Though it's not as good a film, Beautiful Creatures could also be ranked alongside The Silence of the Lambs as one of the best, little-f feminist crime dramas that doesn't fall into the big-F Feminist trap of letting its take on sexual and gender politics overpower the story and turn it into "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" propaganda.

Part of what makes a movie good is that the viewer can follow the plot. Alas, "Beautiful Creatures" failed in this respect. This story of two women who accidentally kill one of them's hubby does not make itself comprehensible. Rachel Weisz has starred in much better movies ("Sunshine", "The Constant Gardener"), so why would you want to focus on this? I expect England to make really good flicks ("The Man in the White Suit", "The Italian Job", "Letter to Brezhnev", "The Full Monty", "Billy Elliott"), but even the best don't succeed every time. There's always got to be something better this out there. It's not an awful movie, but not worth your while.

This low budget Thelma and Louise wannabe impressed me as cheap and amateurish. The dark humor in this "comedy" attempts to mimic films like Trainspotting or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels but never even comes close. Weak acting, convoluted plot and horrible music make this a movie to avoid.