Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

After surviving a viewing of this, my impression is that this is one of those movies that was filmed simultaneously as the script was still being written - you know, "Okay, we're done with Scene 10... hurry up and finish writing scene 11... we begin shooting it tomorrow." This explains why characters seem to drop into the story with no explanation or background, like when the National Guard just happens to be on the scene of a spider attack... did somebody call them or were they just driving through the area at the time?There are too many "conveniences" in the plot. Tracey Gold's character just happens to be an expert on arachnology, the Guardsman's daughter just happens to be aboard the bus they are trying to rescue. Add to this the hammed-up acting and what you get is a cast of cardboard characters you have no empathy for.And what is it with that background music? The generic "scenes of peril" film score runs at full volume throughout the majority of the movie!Since the IMDb ratings system only allows whole numbers, I give this a "1." If it were possible I would award it an extra half point for (unintentional) comedic value for the scene of the final showdown with the giant cheap-CGI spider.In short, this is another movie I highly recommend......that you avoid.

The fact that this movie even made it on SyFy, lowers the credibility of the entire network. I look at SyFy as a channel that plays the worst low budget films in the world. This one is truly the worst, seeing as how they almost never shoot the guns or even try to when the spiders come up to them. And is the only way for people to die by tripping over a branch? The old bald man that apparently was injured, actually tripped on a tree branch.. Get over it. Pathetic movie. Low budget films can clearly convey a message with decent graphics and actions, such as that Islamist film that created a huge buzz in the middle east. But this piece of crap only gets the honor to be shown on Syfy.

Flipped the stations, came across this title and decided to cheaply entertain myself. I used to watch movies like this all the time just for the hell of it (though once in a rare while, there's a gem in all the rubble).When I looked at who was in this movie - Tracey Gold, Ethan Phillips, and Edward Furlong among others - I already knew this was going to be one of THOSE movies. It was more out of seeing what Furlong was doing and what the spiders looked like more than anything that kept me tuned in. The spiders are as atrocious as any bad movie "monster". Even in 2012 and on TV, this was seriously poor.Furlong looked bad as anyone would suspect. His acting (which to me was never all that great to begin with) was terrible and he was seriously miscast.I made it halfway through and decided to just watch the rest, knowing full well this will be the last time I watch this garbage movie. Predictable and nothing greatly original, but if you enjoy bad movies like this, by all means - but this is pretty much as bad as it gets.

Unfortunately the market for monstrous spider movies is flooded with less than average movies, and only a handful of the movies of this genre actually managed to pull it off decently. "Arachnoquake" is in the lower scale of the genre, that, of course, being not-so-good end, as you might have guessed.The movie is a SyFy Channel movie, which pretty much sets the bar for expectations. But "Arachnoquake" does deliver what has become the trademark quality of SyFy Channel; that being cheesy effects, campy storyline and mindless entertainment that will actually have you laughing or smiling in disbelief.An earthquake strikes New Orleans, causing cracks in the ground to open up. But as if earthquakes in this region wasn't strange enough, then the cracks in the ground opened up to subterranean spiders who emerge to prey on the people of New Orleans. These subterranean spiders that no one ever have seen or heard of range in the size from a human fist to actually larger than a school bus. The bayou is in dire threat now from the lurkers of beneath.That being the storyline, well it is pretty much straight forward textbook approach; natural disaster awakens slumbering beasts, beasts emerge to prey on humans in the area, humans are terrified but manage to fight back (and win, of course) against these unnatural predators. It is as in every other spider movie available. And of course you have the fairly stereotypical character gallery in "Arachnoquake" as well.As for the acting in "Arachnoquake", well it was actually good enough. Sure, don't expect award-winning performances here, but in overall, then I think the actors and actresses actually did well enough, as what I had expected from it, being a SyFy Channel movie and all.The effects, well of that I am somewhat swaying in my opinions. Because in some scenes the spiders actually looked nice enough, despite their pinkish-white color, but then in other scenes it just went to awful CGI effects. But if you are familiar with SyFy Channels previous work (well most of it anyway) then you know what level of effects you are in for in this movie.The movie give the expression that this spider infestation happened all over New Orleans, but the movie didn't manage to pull that off. The movie never managed to make it seem like the entire city was in dire peril, or that the citizens were terrified. And when the spider queen was killed, all other spiders just died as well. Wait, what? So they died in sympathy? Never heard about that before, so you kill the queen, and automatically all spiders in the nest drop over dead from sorrow or shock? That was just hilarious.One thing that made me crack out laughing was when the spiders started breathing fire. So monstrously large subterranean spiders wasn't enough? No, apparently some writer somewhere thought 'oh yeah, it would be so much better if the spiders breathe fire as well'. Right. Well that just made the movie even more cheesy than it already was.I think that Ethan Phillips character Roy's death scene was hilarious. I am not spoiling it more by saying how he dies (having said he died is spoiling it enough), but pay attention to the billowing steamy breath from his mouth, showing that he is obviously still alive and breathing, when he just have died. Hooray for the weather there, eh? How could the people behind the camera or the fellow actors around that not see it and point it out? Or did the movie maker just go 'and that's a wrap, no one will notice his steamy breath anyway'? It always makes me curl up my toes in disbelief when there are mistakes like this in movies.But entertainment wise, then "Arachnoquake" is actually fun to watch. Why? Well because it is just that cheesy and campy, and because you know exactly how the movie will turn out, even before the first scene starts rolling. But unfortunately, this wasn't one of SyFy Channels better movies, nor did it manage to carve itself out from some of the more outstanding spider movies of the same genre, and thus it just becomes a less than mediocre experience.