7 Mummies
7 Mummies
NR | 18 July 2006 (USA)
7 Mummies Trailers

Six escaped convicts and their female hostage make a desperate run for the Mexican border, where they stumble across a lost treasure of untold wealth, and find certain death instead on the Arizona desert.

Reviews
TrueHello

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

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Roy Hart

If you're interested in the topic at hand, you should just watch it and judge yourself because the reviews have gone very biased by people that didn't even watch it and just hate (or love) the creator. I liked it, it was well written, narrated, and directed and it was about a topic that interests me.

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Frances Chung

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

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Nicole

I enjoyed watching this film and would recommend other to give it a try , (as I am) but this movie, although enjoyable to watch due to the better than average acting fails to add anything new to its storyline that is all too familiar to these types of movies.

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tristan-luscombe

A shame this is so bad really, because I like bad horror movies and actually rather liked the basic premise: Back when the Spanish were being generally unpleasant to natives in America, they enslaved the local populace and got them to mine all the gold out of the mountains and basically ended up with a wet dream's worth of gold. Overseeing the operation were seven Jesuit priests that vowed to protect to gold until the Spanish forces returned for it. They never did. Over the years they died and were mummified and buried with the gold by the remnants of the native population. Fast forward a few hundred years and a bus load of convicts being transferred escape with one of the guards as hostage (the only good thing about the film, the delectable Cerina Vincent). They bimble across the desert looking for the Mexican border, finding en route a mummified body buried in a dry river bed with a gold medallion on it; when they later find a mysterious Indian (the always reliable, although poorly cast in this case Danny Trejo) who spots the medallion, he tells them the legend. Naturally, having just crawled out of the desert and barely survived, they decide to go back and try to find the gold, ignoring the Indian who is now laughing manically at their decision. They find the town, and most of them die. It's the vast majority of components that are wrong with this film.The dialogue was too quiet, even the slightest incidental music or sound effect totally washed out the dialogue, so you had no idea what was being said most of the time.The music was atrocious and very very loud, a mixture of gangsta rap and ultra heavy thrash metal, totally inappropriate and made the dialogue situation even worse.It was shot predominantly in total darkness, so most of the time you could not only not hear what was going on, you couldn't see what was going on either, I imagine it would be like watching a group of people being stalked in a windowless warehouse by Carcass or Napalm Death.Now when they got to where the gold was buried, there was a wild west style town there, complete with an evil sheriff (Billy Drago! Yaay! Who actually turned out to be the prime antagonist, not the mummies of the title), lots of random grizzled 1860's type western folk and the obligatory bar/cathouse populated with extremely buxom young lovelies. The gang of convicts do not question this one bit, they are not remotely bothered by the fact they seem to have slid back in time 150 years or so. The explanation for this is either simply not in the film, or is very briefly covered in sub-audible dialogue, but I gathered from a review that some wild west era settlers arrived there, settled, found the gold and woke the mummies, who subsequently killed the entire town and the inhabitants are now cursed.The convicts are enjoying the bar when the inhabitants turn into undead (terrible effects, ghouls look just like normal people, just with some blue eyeliner, right?) and the prostitutes turn out to be vampires (WTF??) that dispatch a couple of the convicts right there and then.The remaining convicts run around in the dark, breaking into boarded up buildings for no apparent reason, but they do eventually encounter some mummies, and they turn out to be ninja, high speed kung fu combat mummies with a propensity for crazy jumping around - to be fair, this is actually a pretty good fight scene (what you can see of it in the almost pitch black).The weird thing is that since things went belly-up in the cat house when the ghouls revealed what they were, the entire population of the town apart from the Sheriff has vanished. Eh? Why? No idea. The convicts spend the latter part of the film just being chased by the sheriff, the mummies don't even join the pursuit after their one fight scene.And the ending with two blokes and a coffin is completely random and meaningless, it's not anything to do with the rest of the movie as far as I can tell.I love crap movies, but please, this was dreadful in every conceivable way and it's not often I watch a lousy horror movie and think to myself "Wish I'd done something else, like maybe got some sleep".

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7212-1

Admitted, I love bad movies (eg. Evil alien conquerors) and horror movies, but this movie was however bad in a REALLY bad way. It made absolutely no sense what so ever, horrible lighting, disastrous camera work, acting, etc...It seems the people writing the script thought of "cool" ideas for a 30 minutes movie and then just filled in the rest with meaningless nonsense. I cannot believe anybody would put their names on this kind of crap.I could go on for pages about how horrible it was, but being the optimist I am, I will mention the only two good things about the movie: It was the first movie I have seen, containing Ninja-Priest-Mummies and it contained quite some large boobies. Besides that it absolutely sucked ass!Do not watch this movie without serious masochistic tendencies!

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wrlang

Nothing special here. A low budget film shot in a low budget place. Bad guys try and take something from worse guys without understanding the price they may have to pay. Escaped convicts fall upon an old Spanish treasure protected by Priests that have become mummies whose soul purpose in death is to protect the treasure. The acting was OK for the most part. The script was nothing special. The camera work was low budget. If you want to see a bunch of people and monsters killing and being killed, then this is for you. Moderate amount of gore. Cerina Vincent was hot in her usual white muscle shirt. Danny Trejo was good, as always, in his character. Billy Drago was born with, and perfected, that creepy bad guy image.

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genius_at_work2003

I don't even know where to begin. Just watching this movie all the way to the end was painful. The plot jumped around non-stop, and it was practically impossible to follow, even though it was incredibly simplistic. Other reviews claimed that the casting and makeup were 'great', but I didn't think that either was especially good. I can't comment on the 'stunts' because there weren't any that were bigger than someone rolling off a 1-storey roof onto the ground.The lighting throughout the whole movie was horrible, so it was difficult to even see what was going on half the time. The music was poorly chosen and was played so loud that it drowned out the dialog. Although, drowning out the dialog may have been a good thing since the dialog itself was dull and repetitive. The so-called climax of the movie was in fact the most anti-climactic part of the movie.I strongly recommend that anyone considering seeing this movie should NOT see it instead. It's too bad the vote system won't accept votes lower than 1.

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