Dreadfully Boring

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

A film of deceptively outspoken contemporary relevance, this is cinema at its most alert, alarming and alive.

I gave this movie a 3, because I was interested in the idea of it. I hated the acting and way it played out though. I love John Schneider, and I love his acting. I think this movie had potential but the acting ruined it. I enjoyed the idea, and I personally think this could be a good TV series idea, and I also think that the conversation was cheesy. They spoke real simple, and the movie was hard to really be focused on, I'm writing this review while watching it, that's how bad it is! Anyways, it was only $1, so I suppose that's not bad. I would say they also could make the story-line move along, there was too much dialect, and slow moving parts for an hour and half movie. If it had a better pace, I think I could handle this movie.

This movie starts out fairly decent. Think Hatfields vs McCoys on desolate ice post doom days. Unfortunately, it is the worst cliff hanger ever. I was waiting for the words "to be continued" to roll across the screen and even looked to see if I was supposed to flip the disk over for part two or something. This movie literally stops in the middle of filming like they ran out of budget to finish it or something. I've heard of leaving endings up to the viewer but this was ridiculous. I liked the characters. I understood where they were attempting to go with it. The filming is low budget but acceptable. The total disregard to end the story or hint at a sequel is seriously disappointing.

What to say about this movie? It is awful! I could say more about the acting, special effects, story, but I prefer to let you read the nabokov95 review. He gave me some minutes of fun after this waste of time, so I recommend you go just after my review. His review should be just after mine.I came to IMDb after watching the movie, just because I couldn't believe that a film so bad like this could ever end like it have: suggesting that will be continued. I truly don't recommend that you see this film, but if do, don't forget to have your 2 minutes of fun reading what nabokov95 wrote about it. He entitled as "Rats can't vomit".

Rats can't vomit and I can't walk out of films. Normally that's not an issue. In this case I had to remind myself of that throughout and take increasingly frequent glances at my watch to see how much time was left before I could leave while muttering "Please, please let it stop" under my breath. Poor special effects, a ridiculous storyline, appalling dialogue and terrible acting (but, to be fair, the actors really didn't stand a chance from the get go in this one). Apparently, within a generation, our future selves have divided into scientifically and technologically gifted guitar playing peace loving Eco hippies who still pray before meals and testosterone driven Ghenghis Khan ninja style combat loving Mongolian warriors who talk in suitably archaic language about their clan, fortresses, honour and the glory of battle. (Talking of ninjas the film is written and directed by Eric Small, who was the assistant director of "3 Ninjas: Knuckle Up" (1995) IMDb rating 3.9). Between them you've got what I guess the film makers would like to call a doomed romance "Romeo and Juliet" sub plot going on. I very quickly wished all of them had died in the apocalypse like apparently everyone else on CGI planet. Ninety one minutes of watching a frozen empty landscape would have been more entertaining. Sometimes a film can be so unintentionally bad that it exerts a mesmerising and highly entertaining fascination all of it's own, like watching a train wreck. This isn't one of them. The Christmas turkey has definitely come early this year. Please be kind to yourself people and stay far, far, away. There are better, more life affirming and rewarding, ways of wasting 91 minutes of your all too short existence. Book a root canal treatment and turn up early, go to your train station and deliberately miss your train, try to read a book written in a language you don't know, go shopping and leave your wallet at home, start a collection of interesting things you find on your sidewalk, go out and start saying hello to people you've never met, see how many hot dogs you can eat before you throw up ... anything but this. If you see any ratings higher than 3 then I suggest you check out just how many other ratings the reviewer has submitted. My guess would be just one, glowing, for this film and this film only. My score 1/10, simply because IMDb won't let me go any lower. For clarity, that means that "3 Ninjas: Knuckle Up" (1995) is 4 times better than this! In conclusion, just about every other film I've seen in my whole wasted movie watching life was better than this one. This is the kind of film that makes you wish film had never been invented. Finally, the "end" of the film directly suggests there will be a sequel. If there is a God ... there won't. Postscript: 25 days later 4 reviewers have given it a 10, making it obviously one of the greatest films they have ever seen. They are either: a) Masochists who need serious help; b) Sadists who want you to suffer the way I suffered; c) in the pay of those responsible for this monstrosity; d) a combination of the former. Despite this it's still pulling a (grossly exaggerated) score of 3.7 on the crapiness index. IMDb - you really need to do something about these people!